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In case you’re wandering and wondering 😆
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90s music binge is so fire right now.
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Please and thank you!
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I'm going to sleep. Good night, everyone!
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I’ll date him if you guys broke up. 😂
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I know. Where is the author, we need an answer. 😂
Your worth is not related to his family’s wealth. Try to avoid comparing what his family has to yours and be thankful for the perks. I hope his family is kind.
Enthusiast
Yeah.....you don’t really understand the situation. A wealthy family like that are usually intrusive and will likely influence their boy (it’s quite easy to influence with the threat of no inheritance).
@OP, how much you should proceed depends on how much independence your bf has from his family.
If he’s quite independent, there’s hope that he will try his best to shield you from the hassles.
If he’s not quite independent, there’s huge odds that it ain’t gonna work out.
girl this is easy. get your bfs family to buy that second car.
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Haha if only it works that way! I would feel extremely uncomfortable if his family did that, not to mention, shameful so I / my parents could never accept that big of a gift.
Sort of in the same boat but my (upper middle class) parents seem to feel as if they’re not enough when my boyfriends wealthy family come with expensive gifts such as first class flights etc, home renovations etc. I always try to minimize what type and how many luxuries his parents are giving us when I talk to my family but I can tell that they feel as if they’re not enough and also that it goes against their personal beliefs which is that you should pay yourself, which is also something that has made me feel a bit strange about the generous gifts too sometimes.
You won.
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No, you won because you work at EY Parthenon. 😋
There’s 2 ways to go about this. You either embrace it, be thankful about it, and make sure he and his family don’t expect anything in return. You don’t want to live you’re life feeling your indebted to him and his family.
2nd option is to get out while you can. Find someone with a similar background and upbringing as yours. Granted you might him in a professional setting, you will be fine in the long run (at least financially).
So I am not in the exact same position or situation as you but similar, I‘ve been with someone for 7 months now, yes I know it’s not that long however when we look at my immediate family and hers my family looks better off where we have more cars and properties but that does not define my character and it most certainly does not define our relationship.
My dad is also helping me to buy a house but it doesn’t mean that I’m some spoiled brat I’m fortunate to get his help and have that kind of relationship with my parents.
I still am my own person and have sense on how to save and hold my own and have no shame in accepting my parents help.
So I wouldn’t let that affect your relationship with him if you can not afford all the crazy stuff then it should be made a point that you can not and the two of you should be able to come to some form of compromise that works for the both of you. It shouldn’t matter which family has more money it’s more on can you guys work together to manage your finances in a way that you both are comfortable with and can sustain in the long term. Sounds like something that you need to workout and remove that insecurity your families wealth isn’t what caught your boyfriends attention and I doubt that he cares either.
I’m going to suggest that you be yourself and focus on your partner. You didn’t fall in love for money, so let that not be a factor. As you can see in the thread, there are pros and cons on both sides of the coin. Perhaps you and he should have a conversation discussing how you feel about it between each other and come up with a plan on how to handle awkward situations outside of you both and be prepared and with confidence, knowing where each other stands. Wishing you much luck.
What’s the problem? Sounds like your future is set.
All you need is love! You can continue to feel inadequate or enjoy the gifts and opportunities. You’re still new to the family. In another 5 years, you’ll fit right in and be grateful for the extra opp his wealth can provide you and your children, if you go that route. Plus, money usually makes shitty humans. If he’s down to earth and amazing, you hit the jackpot. Sounds like he has a wonderful family too.
Is it possible you just feel guilty or embarrassed about receiving so much from them? Are things healthy and good otherwise?
I was in a very similar situation and I sometimes felt I didn't deserve what they gave me. But it came from a place of love and I was able to accept it and keep my dignity.
I don't think being wealthy makes you a bad person. Sometimes it might change your perspective, but that is what you bring.
Definitely not because of class differences. Possibly because my own prospects are not so bad, even though I grew up very poor. But more likely because it just wasn't a factor and these are genuinely lovely people.
We had plenty going for us, but just argued all the time. A classic case of people just wishing to change each other in ways that can't really happen.
Look better find some help with your “inferiority complex”, lack of self worth”, “materialism” and insecurities before continuing because you will end up destroying this relationship and future ones with your current state.
The truth hurts and you are the problem.
hey there! i'm kind of in the same situation as you in reverse. my partner's family is poverty level poor whereas my family has quite a bit of wealth. it's never been a problem because he and i both work our asses off and respect money; he because he never had it and me because i know how hard my family worked to get their wealth.
not all wealthy people are assholes the same way that poor people generally aren't lazy or unmotivated. talk to your partner and express how you feel. his family may not see it as a problem, may understand that you come from different backgrounds, and likely just wants their kid to be happy.
had that talk with my man and he was just so happy that my family has never made him feel like he's less than. and i'm happy that his family has never made me feel spoiled or snooty.
good luck!
He may respect you more for you, your values, your looks, your strength, etc that money can’t buy.
Can he live his lifestyle through his own individual means? If the answer is no, I don’t see what the problem is at all. You’re both free loaders (I don’t mean this in a derogatory manner). I legitimately don’t see what there is to feel embarrassed about just because your boyfriends FAMILY is rich. I’d maybe understand a little more if he himself made like 5-10x what you do. Even then though, If he’s willing to subsidize you so you can live the same lifestyle, what exactly is the problem?
It’s only a problem if they flaunt it in ways that are condescending.
Reminding yourself there are more metrics to success and happiness than money may be helpful. Every family has its dysfunctions and arguments, as well as its charms. There are probably difficult things about his family and good things about yours. And if he’s dating you, it’s because from his perspective there are aspects of yourself that you bring to the table that he really likes
Some questions to think about.
Do you guys love each other? Do you see a future with him? Has the family always treated you well and not been condescending due to your background or income level? Is your family happy for you?
I don’t understand why you feeling low due to your bf family wealth? If you both have love, admiration and respect for each other and also good sex than what do you else need. You can make fortune in your life. Just look around how many people became rich in last 30yrs you can be another one.
Ok. You’re with the guy for years and it’s for a reason—or probably many. If I were u I’d enjoy their largess, but I wouldn’t obsess about it. Seriously. Also, if you want a lush life, think about ways you can make it happen—-and here’s the hard part: actually take steps to make it happen. Good luck.
Enthusiast
Can you please articulate what makes you uncomfortable? Do they treat you badly because of your background? Do they disrespect you and your family? Do they make you feel inferior or unworthy? Are they materialistic to the point of being shallow? Do they judge your manners or embarrass you when your behavior does not match their social codes? Is it impossible for them to have a pleasant deep human connection because of their different social backgrounds?
Enthusiast
Weird flex, but ok