Does anyone else...hate being in a management position? I'm worried I don't have the patience to deal with my team. I don't understand why they need so much handholding. I don't know if I'm not cut out to be a leader or if my team is just extremely high maintenance.

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It could be either, really. Not everyone is passionate about managing teams; not everyone finds that work fulfilling. And, some teams require more active management, more handholding, than others.

I would recommend taking a step back and looking at the team as an outsider, if you can. Look at the things they need handholding on, and look at the culture of the organization. From my experience, people tend to need more handholding when they’ve been scarred by a micromanager or a blamer. If a previous boss makes it unsafe to be imperfect than people often stop taking the initiative. That can lead to a whole team that needs to be handheld.

If you think that could be the case with your team, then you’ll have to work to actively change that culture. Give them enough room to fall, and help them learn that they won’t die when they do so. If you can give them a safe space to operate within, they’ll often become more able to work without needing their hand held.

You may find you really enjoy leading a high performing team.

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That’s fair. And in many companies you are correct, management is the only way to grow salary and career. It’s not that way everywhere. My company, for example, has roles like mine - a technical SME - with no direct reports all the way up to SVP level. If you really want a senior leadership role in the company without becoming a people manager you might need to switch companies.

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Al of this. Give them the space to do good work and remind them often that you trust them to do it.

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Be patient. Try to give positive words and encouragement. In previous experience I only focused on what they did wrong or didn't understand why they didn't understand. But everyone learns and works differently. If they feel like they're going to disappoint you or you're mad then they will need that hand holding even more.

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Hi!
One thing you may want to do is answer why do you think they need so much handholding? If you “aren’t sure”, give it your best guess. Also, you may want to ask them for their feedback too.
Is there enough support they were given? Are the goals specific & realistic? Are the right responsibilitieas assigned to the right people? Have you been communicating your expectations clearly (enough)?...

On the other hand, you may just not like being in a managerial position, and that is totally ok too! In that case, what do you need to do to get back to an individual contributor role?

Wish you all the best!

If you’d like to share more, feel free to message me/connect on LI. Happy to learn more about your situation and offer some additional insights.

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They probably don’t need handholding but just want your ear. Remember, it’s not about you It’s always about them. Yes, you are a leader because you don’t think you are and I know that last bit is confusing, but it’s good leaders who usually ask themselves this question. Trust me they don’t want you to figure things out for them because if that was the case, you probably would’ve had to fire them long ago they just wanna talk and see your face.

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if they require a lot of hand holding then replace them with better people. Do they need training is the work so far out of their scope. Or are they 20 something year old whose parents have done everything for them and need some hard love to grow up

Micromanaging people and having it done to you is not fun.

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Be patient. Try to give positive words and encouragement. In previous experience I only focused on what they did wrong or didn't understand why they didn't understand. But everyone learns and works differently. If they feel like they're going to disappoint you or you're mad then they will need that hand holding even more.

Maybe a little of both 🙈
OR… maybe things will get better w time

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