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I got a remote L6 SWE offer at Google but the RSUs are too low for that level ($625k over 4 years), could not negotiate it higher. I’ve accepted the offer but trying to be hopeful that I could make it more equitable in the future if I perform well. Are stock refreshers based on the initial RSU grant or solely based on performance? Google
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How much do you keep in the bank vs brokerage?
Anyone have or recommend a remote flexible well paying job preferably in auditing or tax for entry level. I hold a BA in computer information and I’ve been an insurance adjuster for the last 6 years. I’m ready to take on new career endeavors and would really like to find a company who is willing to give me an opportunity. BDO KPMG EY RSM Deloitte
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🙋🏻♂️ I smoke weed a few times a week after bedtime and it’s a helpful de-stressor
Life as a family is full of chores, I hate how limited the overall support structure is and your quality of life wears down. Kids, diaper changes, breakfast, drop off, pickup, meals, dishes, cleanup, trash removal and then remove that trash can twice a week, with laundry, cleanup and minor yard work included. We have a weekly cleaning lady, full time nanny and a yard person, but still its just too many fr***g chores 🤬
No Flex, cheap Texas property with extra big lots that keeps the grass growing throughout the year 😕
It is a struggle. But I found it gets better (in about 18 years).
Prioritize family every time. Working to the bone isn’t rewarded long term and causes burn out
Yes. Quitting consulting for better hours
Yes. Sometimes I just want to veg and play video games or something stupid to get my mind off things. It’s helpful for my sanity to do something mindless and dumb. But then wife will get mad that I’m either not spending time with her or that I am not doing useful things around the house like cleaning, doing house chores, meal prep, etc. I understand I need to do those things too and want to spend time with my wife, but sometimes I just need my own space and the wife doesn’t get it. But at the end of the day… happy wife happy life. Or so they say.
But I think ultimately it’s us (the dads) who will end up sacrificing because we’re the ones who chose this career to begin with.
Long story short it’s a struggle here balancing all those things too. Anyone here figure it out?
Dude, no! The attitude of “well it’s us dads who will have to sacrifice for the sake of family” is counter productive. Even if you don’t admit, it will hurt you mentally and that’s obviously not good in the long run.
I went through this - my wife realized eventually that I need my alone time and accepts that it makes me a better dad and husband. She teases me sometimes “hey you need to go shoot bad guys now?”
It’s hard - but it will help you be more engaged as a dad and husband.
Wife is a surgeon in residency. We have a toddler at home and I am the primary.
Got an Au Pair and I’m never going back.
Yeah there’s a ton of trade offs re: nanny. Fortunately we have an incredible private school here that goes from 6 weeks to 8th grade so we split between that and the Au Pair. The cost is probably a wash compared to your situation post tax.
I have a feeling when the kids are all out of their younger years and in elementary school we will switch over to a nanny / house keeper as the tasks will transfer from strict childcare to child and home management.
Just remember that work is supposed to the means for you to support your family. If you are having to sacrifice your family for your work, in my opinion, that defeats the purpose!
Good luck :)
Preaching. I’m exhausted at the end of the day with a toddler and a newborn. Luckily the toddler just went back to preschool. I walk my dog at the end of day which helps me decompress a little and then have been working out. I try to get some “me time” in even it’s for 30-45 mins just for my sanity and then reconnect with the wife.
Get help if you can. We have a nanny thats pretty flexible to help with nights and weekends at times. Let's us go do fun things as a family or as a couple. It's not exactly cheap but it is cheaper than a divorce
Damn! I’m paying $20 for a live in nanny in LA. She leaves on the weekends but we’re still feeding here during the week and that $20 feels below market. Granted I have three kids which pushes the cost up
Ring fence your weekends for family. I didn’t do it early on and wish I had but I do it now and we still have yearsctogether before they finish high school
Yep. It’s especially tough with a working spouse. Worse is the spouse works half the weekends (in medicine) and the other half of the weekends we spend doing family thing and some house work. It’s always non stop. However, you also have to consider that your spouse is also always on the go and taking care of things around you that you may not be privy to. Gotta work together to set time out for both of you to go meet friends or get involved in hobbies. Sacrifice some of the monthly budget to outsource work (cleaning, yard work, order in food a few times)
Daily struggle and making me willing to take a pay cut to exit consulting
It's a struggle. My wife didn't want to hire household help given it was covid. It definitely strained our marriage for various reasons and we are soon going to be filing for a divorce.
She didn't understand that you can hire help to do the fuckin household chores but not to hug/cuddle and sleep
Pro
Yes. My energy is zapped at the end of the day and I’m struggling to balance work and all of the people I love (friends, kids, spouse, family).
I actually finished / upgraded the basement by myself during the pandemic specifically because I needed that space. My wife has Ben amazing about keeping my son out and giving me a quiet place to work.
The most important thing for me has been around keeping a regular and consistent cadence do things. People are reasonable of they know what to expect.
I relate although I feel wfh is better in that I least I see the kids during the week now! Work quality probably suffers a bit as a result but totally worth the trade off!
I am a lot. The wife sees me at home and suddenly thinks I work too much and makes me feel guilty about not spending more time during weekdays with my kid.
I'm managing to keep work at a 50 hour/week which should be great in this career but whenever I have to do social calls she thinks I'm slacking off and says I should spend that time with the family.