How cozy do you feel you need to get with your manager? Do you feel like you need to have some kind personal relationship and rapport? Especially in terms of getting things approved and moved forward, taking time off, all that, I feel like it's essential.

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I wouldn't say it's essential, but it definitely helps a lot! I have a bit of a rapport with my manager and it does help move things along in the long run

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All my best managers developed a friendly relationship, shared jokes and common interests, and a genuine interest in my life. It rarely went past lunch and happy hour, so it didn’t bridge my personal life. However, it’s a two-way street. You need to be receptive to sharing, though probably not too much. Find common ground, like kids, sports, food, fitness, something not too personal and not bragging. That’s what works for me.

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I agree! This is how I am with my manager and the person who is the superior on my team that I need a lot of approvals from. She does ask about my personal life and we all share some of it to a degree but nothing crazy. They know I’m an avid crocheter in my personal time for example LOL! And we’ll have lunch together sometimes as a group.

The trick is to be friendly but not familiar. You don't want to be aloof or stand-offish because the manager will reflect that attitude back to you. You also don't want to be the "teacher's pet" because it can damage you relationship with co-workers. Keep it professional. Be courteous and polite. Bad things happen when workplace friendships evolve into complicated relationships or devolve into feuds.

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I think it just needs to be professional. No need to be friends but there should be a good rapport between the two. I have a manager that is overly friendly with a few in our unit and they recently went on a cruise together. It is just odd for the rest of us who feel we don't really fit in with the boss.

I feel like being professionally “cozy” is the best. I’d prefer just being professional, possibly due to the environment I live in, but I know some people feel like you have to be friendly with everyone to be courteous, so as others said, find common ground. You don’t need to go into personal relationships but, for example, find out what’s their favorite form of entertainment (TV show, book genre, artist, etc) and see if there’s any similarities between their taste and yours.

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