I and my boyfriend have been dating over a year now. Our relationship in general is pretty smooth and sweet. The only problem is he has not come out to his parents yet. It was not an issue before the pandemic thing since we were just living in the city, being in our own bubble. But Covid happened and he moved back to stay with his dad. Since he is not out, he can’t pick up the phone call whenever I call him, he can’t tell his parents he is dating someone in the city. Cont.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

He can’t pick up the phone when you call him? Can’t he say you are a friend? As a 50-year old man who hasn’t come out to his parents (they are very religious and living in denial about the obvious signs that I am gay, but that’s a whole different topic) I can say that a person doesn’t “have” to come out. ) I am out at work and to everyone who’s not in the circle of my parents. My relatives wouldn’t care and have probably figured it out, it’s just that my mom is super religious. But you have to decide what is right for you. If it’s a deal breaker than it’s a deal breaker. My current BF is out to his family but not to his coworkers cause he is afraid of losing his job. It’s pretty annoying cause we can’t go to local gay things or Pride together. It’s starting to be a deal breaker for me, cause he is super paranoid about it.

like

I think part of the reason why my old gf broke up with me was because I was not out to my mom. I’m from a pretty liberal family, but my older sister had just “come out” (cause she wanted to marry her gf of 6 years!!) so in my mind at the time felt like too much too soon. I understood where she was coming from though and I have no hard feelings at all, she was just in a different place than I was and I wasn’t able to catch up to her.

I think different people move at a different pace and that’s okay! But also it’s important to recognize that we all have different needs. If you want to wait it out cause you feel like there might still be something there then good for you, my sister-in-law definitely waited a long time but they’re happily married now. But if you want to move on cause you feel like you’d like a partner that’s “out” then that’s totally valid too and you shouldn’t feel bad either. I haven’t heard from my ex but I can tell you that I’m still not out to my mom so she definitely made the right move 😂😂

like

His parents tell him to stay back in the burb once his lease is up. Whenever we talk about when he is going back to the city, he keeps mentioning his parents’ advice. Which is unfair since they are not even aware of my existence. And now I just feel like I don’t really see a future in this relationship because of him hiding his sexuality. He is an only child and his parents divorced so I understand his desire for status quo. Even though he told me his presents are very liberal, he is still afraid coming out is gonna affect their relationships. But this lack of transparency is really taking a toll on me and our relationship.

My gf and I went through this, I not being out to my parents and am now with them during this time period. I totally get the frustration on your side, but to shed some light its been super difficult not to be open with them, but also as this life becomes the new norm and more comfortable in the chaos of everything going on right now, ive decided adding to that chaos by telling them now would just make things worse ( for my own experience, just trying to give you the other side). But having said that I do hope to tell them when things have calmed down, and I never thought it would be this hard to tell them ( pretty liberal family) but it is, and makes me more impressed and in awe of people who were able to do this at a young age (currently 22)

I am sure it’s a very tough situation. My bf and I have been together for 4+ years. For the first two years, he was not out to anyone. I had to go home when his friends/family were coming over. It was tough but we really enjoyed our time together. I resisted my urges to rush him. I am sure I asked when he’s gonna tell his friends/parents. As I remember, he always said he doesn’t know. Finally, he started telling his friends the third year we were dating and invited me to their events and eventually he came out to his parents last Thanksgiving and they have all been very understanding/supportive. Everyone’s situation is different. I am not sure if I could offer any advice that would be directly applicable to you. You need to follow your heart and know how much tolerance you have and if whoever you are dating is worth waiting. Everyone is growing and figuring him/herself out. Some people might just need more time. Good luck!

Related Posts

New to Dallas - recs for a GP/physician? I’m in UP so downtown to Addison, tollway to 75’ish preferred.

like

A relative is raising a teenage son with her ex-husband. They have joint physical custody. The ex-husband has re-married. When the son is in his care, he often leaves the son at home in California with his (new) wife when he travels for work (which is often). The relative wants her ex-husband to leave their son in her care when he travels out of town but the ex-husband disagrees. The relative wants to know her chances of prevailing if she were to appear in court on this issue. Thoughts? Thanks!

like

So uhhh anyone need a house sitter the week before memorials day weekend? Wanted to visit the city and go to the office a few days but my friend who I usually crash with is out of town

like

How do you deal with anxiety before a big presentation? I really struggle with this and want to get better.

like

What’s up everyone!! How have y’all’s agencies been doing in COVID? Do you find your businesses have changed product mixes in the last year?

What are some of your tips to avoid / reduce the impact of spring pollen allergies. I have taken tablets etc but they are just ok. Any alternative therapies / treatments?

Anyway to slim down legs; just want to smooth out this massive imbalance that the body seems to favor to the downside

like

Sunday scaries aren’t so bad today

Post Photo
like

Are firm offices in LA closed due to COVID? Or are associates able to voluntarily go in?

Have offer from Nagarro Gurgaon. Is it possible to relocate to Bangalore post covid instead of Gurgaon ?

I did an HCG trigger on 6/26. Took 1 test/day days 11-15, all positives. Now (day 17pt) I’m having cramps and lots of bloating. Is that normal in very early pregnancy? Slightly panicking...

like

Seeking immigration / travel advise. I know we are not lawyers but any experiences / stories would be helpful.

Can I enter the US when I have H1B change of employer petition approved but employed with my current company and serving notice period? Which company’s I-797 form do I show immigration? Do I tell them about switching jobs, etc.?

My new company lawyers are not providing clear guidance on this and suggesting against travel due to COVID in general. Thank you.

like

So I KNOW I have ADD maybe ADHD...my parents told me just recently I was diagnosed in third grade but they didn’t want to give me medicine but I struggle a lot with paying attention or remembering...

like

What are some myths you all have heard to figure out if you’re having a boy or girl?

like

After I joined the force I noticed some people I considered friends have slowly distanced themselves from me. Anyone else go through something similar?

like

Vaccinated and going to Chicago for a graduation. What is the bar situation right now? Possible to walk in or are reservations necessary? And any bar recs are appreciated (staying near Gold Coast).

like

How do you guys workout during tax season? If your leaving at 11/12 when/ how do u make the time?

Do we need a covid test for travel to India from US and back?

like

Hope everyone in IFS is hanging in during this crazy COVID-19 time.

like

More Posts

Happy Reformation Day! Encouraged to see this interaction tonight! Dr. Mohler has been balanced in assessing this election and differentiating policies vs. personalities

Post Photo
like

Just want to say this is such a thoughtful bowl. Great responses, lots of questions on self improvement, sharing of resources. Love UX guys #empathy

like

Any book recommendations for soft skills at an agency/studio? For stuff like giving feedback, meetings, presentations, client interaction, etc.

like

Going to Charlioftsville next weekend, any wineries, restaurants, breweries, hiking etc...to do there during COVID. Appreciate your insight!!!!

like

Hearing of layoffs with some Chicago agencies. MSL...Porter...Ketchum...others? Sign of bad economy coming? Hate to sound skittish, but I lived through 2008

like

Is there anyone who can discuss the current development trend of the world economy? I am very willing to learn and share what I know.

like

How strict is Google about returning into the office? New York based

like

What is the salary range for PL8 ?

like

This aged well...
😫

Post Photo
likefunny

Has anyone done the Blackstone pymetrics?

like

Anyone want to grab a drink tn?

like

Friendly reminder about our Bowl meetup tomorrow (Thursday) in Wash Sq West. $6 Margaritas and $6 Nachos all night long. Hope to meet many of you there!

Date: November 3rd, 6:00 pm
Where: McGillin’s Olde Ale House

like

Hi , Quick help here please... I am getting an offer letter for Atos where HR suggest it is for gcm5 band. Any idea what that band means and what could be the salary bracket for the band? ( For 13yr exp. ) These bands are still syntel after merger or Atos bands?

This diversity thing is almost a joke....seriously. A lady says her goal is to focus on promoting women and she is celebrated. What if a man said the same thing regarding men....? where is fairness?

Has anyone used an ADHD /executive functioning coach? I’ve been on meds since I was 13, but am struggling more than I think I should be with basic things. Some of my poor habits have definitely caught up with me. Any recommendations would be much appreciated.

like

Accenture India I am trying to apply for an opening in Accenture portal and I am getting some issues in applying for an opening. can you help me out to correct my profile to apply for the opening and I have added the screenshot below CID: C9175059
It is saying like your candidate is closed.

Post Photo
like
like

I got selected in LTI, the offered CTC is less than my current CTC, HR says they have budget constraints.

They were aware about my current CTC right from the first call.

I also shared the counter offer that I'm holding. (Offered CTC > Current CTC)
Switch won't make sense if I don't get the basic hike.

How can I convince them to revise my offer? YOE -3.2 yrs

like

What are you supposed to do when you suspect than one of the higher-ups may be involved in criminal conduct? Don’t want to idly stand by but I’m concerned about potential consequences.

like

Additional Posts in LGBT Accountants

Does anyone know of a good dating app? I have tried using Hinge, which I thought is designed for people to date and not to hook-up. However, everyone I chatted with is asking for pics like they would on Grindr…is that just our culture?

like

Financial services is still a pretty male dominated industry, and the LGBT community within it is no exception.

With that said, any women in this group?

🙋‍♀️ #lesbian

like

Does Deloitte have a good LGBT network? I’m starting there soon, so I was curious.

like

Anyone going to the ALPFA conference in Vegas that would like to meet up?

ATL Pride anyone?

like

Happy Pride Month everyone ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

likeuplifting

Happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈

like

hows everyone doing?

like

What are some profesional LGBT groups to join? For networking and professional development.

like

Anyone going to Ascend this year?

Is it just me or all the hot people in advisory? [9th floor]

like

Is selling feet pics an unethical side hustle?

likefunny

I know a lot of firms have strong LGBT groups, and I'm definitely not saying it's the same, but any idea how poly people are treated or if you've even seen anyone out about it?

Just moved to Arlington/DC area Bi, 23 any tips/recs/meet ups?

like

Hi everyone! New to the group. Looking forward to connecting with all of you

like

Is there is any hook up corner or spot in your firm.
Just curious to know?

likefunny

I am the partner leading our local office lgbt group. What should I be doing to engage more with our people during this time? Zoom once a month only goes so far I think but I have run out of other ideas.

like

Do you have many LGBT friends and do you necessarily care if you do or don’t? I have one gay friend who I catch up with occasionally and I think my husband has two. I never really cared either way about it, however I feel like I’m at that point where you primarily make new friends through existing ones, and they are having children and making other “parent” friends. Between that and living in a SFH neighborhood in the suburbs, I’ve changed my viewpoint over the last few months.

like

Anyone bi here? 35/m

like

For smaller firms without published policies, how do you figure out in an interview what would be their attitudes toward LGBT employees? Aside from legal protection.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal