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So courageous to post this
https://joinfishbowl.com/bowl_krzopya5m4
Hey!! People... Would request all the CA, CMA and CS professionals to join this bowl. So that people can share vacancies in Industry and refer each other...Bcoz after working in big 4 after sometime...we all know it's not possible to continue 😂😂!!
Please share with your friends as well
Mentor
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Do YOU want to go to the conference?
💯
You should go if it makes you happy. He should solo parent. What’s the big deal.
My husband and I trade weeks of solo parenting for our career travels. We love supporting and giving each some me time outside of the house too, on top of it.
In the end it’s your choice, but if the company hasn’t set their dates yet but YOU have, then you need to follow your plan. My company had it’s first Commercial kick off (ever) the week of my honeymoon. It SUCKED to not get to meet people that I’ve worked with for 2 years, but my dates were set well in advance 🤷♀️
The sentiment remains the same - if you would have taken off the week before, then it shouldn’t matter what the company schedules as it conflicts with your previously scheduled plans. Does it suck? Maybe! But it’s not your fault that they haven’t set dates and you have.
If you were NOT planning on asking off that week and they are asking you to attend a work function, then the company may be justified in asking you to be there. Only you can decide if you want to take PTO for the week to guarantee that you don’t need to work and can be home to prepare for your wedding the week following.
Mentor
I would use this as a great way to have a conversation with your future spouse on this issue and expectations for future work trips. Your partner tried to suggest you to skip a LEADERSHIP conference because it stressed him out and inconvenienced him. 🚩
You’re going to see this happen again so I’d use this as a great exercise to discuss how you two will handle work trips in the future, because to me this is a non-negotiable you make it work as a unit. Dad can hire extra help or have a parent come in for the week, you figure it out but you don’t shut down a persons career opportunities.
Whoaaaaa you have off site leadership every quarter?!?! Ok, you DO put a lot on your spouse and your very lucky and blessed to have a supportive partner. I think this is the one time you stand up for yourself and tell work you just can’t swing it this year, you have commitments that week that will not allow you to be out of town.
If my work wouldn’t show their appreciation for me through flexibility this one time, then I don’t want to work for that company. I choose to not make sacrifices for work that will cause me to be resentful.
NOBODY will expect you to change your wedding plans for work. If they do, they’re the asshole.
I never expect people to travel the week before their wedding or even be 100% on. There is a lot to do that week.
Could you go to part of the conference and cut out early (or arrive late). Maybe miss the social fun stuff but be there for “the big meeting” or whatever. One night or something?
They kind of intertwine both unfortunately, but it is potential. I don’t know.
I don’t see what the problem is here why can’t you do both. Also if you don’t want to go then put in your time off and tell them you have too many things to do before your wedding. I would hope they would understand. If they don’t tough on them. Are they going to fire you bc you can’t go? Sounds like your wedding date was confirmed way before this.
I actually went and looked and confirmed that the dates are not even firmed up yet so it could turn out to be a non-issue, but I also think it may be worth putting in time off now so that I don’t have to worry about it. His concern is that because there’s such close proximity, I will be crazy stressed out and will make him more stressed out.
Why can’t you go to the conference just because you are getting married?
You’re getting married! There’s a time to prioritize work and there’s times when you need to let work know they’re not the only thing in your life. I’m ALL about the hustle to get ahead but… this one time in your life you CAN tell work no. DONT stress yourself out before the wedding, take care of you so you can start your marriage on the best and healthiest foot forward. The leadership conference will be there next time around. You only get to start this marriage with your spouse once! Start it out right!
But, if you want to do both then talk with your spouse about what’s right for both of you and how you can make that work. Marriage is a partnership, so if this decision is impacting you both then it should be a discussion. I still believe that not prioritizing your spouse in this important time could cause hurt and issues to be realized and dealt with later down the line. But again, it’s a decision that you should both be on the same page about and feel good about.
Do you still want to get married to someone who clearly doesn’t care about what you feel like doing?
Reading your comment below explains your perspective, yes. However, if your fiancé is not able to understand that and you are questioning your own perspective because of his comment it is wrong. That is what I meant. In my opinion, sometimes you have to do some things for work and I get that it can be exhausting to handle everything solo for a week, but if that exhausts your partner going into your wedding week, I’m not sure if I would want to have that added pressure on me. Again, it’s my opinion and of course can differ.
Not making any judgements :)
Let me clarify something because I keep getting similar comments now.
I’m not just asking if I should skip my conference because my fiancé wants me to. I’m saying, my fiancé clearly is concerned with something (and after further discussion, it’s that he will be so tired and stressed after a week solo that he’ll head in to our wedding week as such and doesn’t want that, nor does he want that for me after a week of travel) and I’m unsure if MY perspective is wrong or if I shouldn’t be concerned with asking my boss about this?
Again, as said in the comments. I have to leave him solo for a week every quarter and he handles it with zero complaints, this isn’t about him not caring about my career or being inconsiderate. If anything, it’s a lack of understanding of responsibility of someone in a leadership role and that it’s not as simple as saying I can’t come to the conference. If he feels like this week make it really difficult on him leading in to our wedding/travel week, that’s a huge concern for me. So I’m asking for business perspective on what I should do with my boss, my apologies if that wasn’t clear initially.
I wouldn’t be concerned about telling your boss you’d love to attend, but it’s not a good time to travel the week before your wedding. If your boss is at all reasonable they’ll understand.
Do you have kids? Otherwise I’m confused how a week solo is stressful. Overall it seems like you have enough lead time to do wedding prep before your work conference so I would go to the conference. If they were springing the conference on short notice I would feel differently.
I would probably take that week off on vacation.
I really enjoy the conferences because I get to see everyone. I would go and have someone lined up to help him with your kid while you’re away.
I would definitely tell work you can’t make it due to wedding commitments and be prepared to take PTO. These leadership meetings happen every quarter - your wedding happens once.
How far away is the retreat from your home? Is it conceivable you could just go for one day or a couple days 9-5 but skip evening and overnight?
Maybe but definitely not just during the day, its 4-5 hours away.
It’s the week before, if you want to you should do it.
Is hiring some additional help for that week an option? If it would alleviate a considerable amount of stress for your partner to have a nanny help out just for that week it might be enough to not make it as big of an issue if you do end up having to go.