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Is there a polite way to ask someone what their ethnicity is? Obviously the “where are you reeeally from” is rude but I also don’t think that people who ask that question mean it in a malicious way typically. Is the topic of culture/ethnicity just off limits at work? I ask all this as a white guy who grew up around a lot of Asian and Indian people and was fortunate to be exposed to a lot of different cultures.
A] India is in Asia. Indians are Asians too
B] No. Do white people get asked that?
“What is your ethnicity?” is how I like to be asked.
-second gen Asian American.
I get tired of saying I'm from Oregon, Boston, and Maryland... I now say, "born & raised in Seoul, Korea." I also never refer myself as a Korean-American anymore, too long, once over 40 years old I just don't give a shit anymore.
Not everyone that looks different is an immigrant, that second question was inappropriate and disrespectful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWynJkN5HbQ&ab_channel=helpmefindparents
As a sr. Manager they should know better. Is there a DEI program in your organization? I would have someone have a conversation with this manager to explain. How inappropriate this was.
I ask what languages other than English they might speak if there's an accent, which is way more relevant to know in a professional setting. I speak a couple other languages other than English as well, so I do not think it is a terribly offensive question.
I hit them with the:
"And you?.... oh, so Native American? What tribe?!"
I’m not an immigrant and get this but this dude’s response is iconic
Whatever the intentions of the questioner are. If you celebrate life you would give them a bit of color about you. Why sit and judge all the time?
It’s a bad phrased question and adding no where are you really from makes it worse and shows the ignorance of the person asking the question. Definitely don’t do this in a first meeting unless both of you are people of color. When white ppl do it, it isn’t cool and I’m talking about American white. Not EU white. There is a difference. If anybody asks me where I’m from I say what state in the US. You can always tell if that was the answer they were going for. I dont care to clarify if it wasn’t as it isn’t my job.
My momma’s womb..wtf🤷♀️
I think that was a great response.
I say I am from Earth
If you really want to shut them up you could say “why do you ask?” And/or “are you asking bc I’m (insert ethnicity here) and you think I’m not American?”
I get it a lot from other immigrants haha maybe I just look foreign, I typically say I’m from NY but then if they say they’re from another country I tell them my parents origin (I’m first gen lol)
Or my daddy’s pants will do too!
Why would someone even ask that? If it’s a matter of fair hiring then HR knows what they need to know. Not everyone knows their ethnicity. I’d say, “great question! I’m hoping for a dna kit for (some holiday). As soon as I get the results, I’ll let you know since you’ve expressed such interest!” Or I’d want to.
I’m a health educator so I’d also want to say “ Haha - we’ll have to go back to middle school health class for that one!”. Or if you are mixed ethnicities ask them to guess and pick your truth but the least likely one.
This person is a jerk.
My wife has had this happen before, but it’s always someone who is Asian asking her.
Not too long after she came to the US, she had been asking me if it was common to ask a lot of questions about where you are from in interviews.
When she had described it, I had told her, no, i think it’s a bit odd that they would ask so much about where you are from in an interview, outside of the if you have work authorization.
Impolite response by the Asian guy. It seems like an innocent question
Example of a parallel. There are consequences for this lack of awareness. https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/30/uk/buckingham-palace-resignation-intl/index.html
I had the exact opposite happen where I am brown skin and I asked a new brown skin person where they were from, and they immediately responded with their ethnicity. I smiled and I said I wasn't looking for that I was looking for where you grew up. They knowingly smiled with me as ethnicity is what most people intend their question to be. But amongst us brown folks, the question really just is about where we grow up.
I normally say … “ would you rather me choose another country NOT the US? To help you label me better?”
I’m not offended by the question, I always answer straight up even though it’s not a popular nationality at this point in time - I’m from Russia. I also have a slight accent giving away that I am not from here. My typical answer is “originally from Russia but I live in Charlotte, NC”