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New opening: As a Senior Designer/Art Director, are you looking for client diversity? Spyglass consults with healthcare to travel, education to med tech, SaaS to CPG. And numerous nonprofits.
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^when the client puts you on actuals^
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So I just recently passed my CPA exams and I’m now looking for new opportunities. I’m hoping to work at a big 4 firm in tax and possibly connect with anyone working there right now. Please reach out to me, I would look forward to connecting and learning more about potential opportunities. Thanks!EY PwC Deloitte KPMG
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Thankfully did not run into this issue. I would say yes, absolutely. As I expect the same.
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Generally yeah, but there’s limits to it all. I won’t help out if you spent your commute money on beer over the weekend, but if you needed a couple bucks because you had an unexpected expense I’ll help out most times.
Of course.
You are questioning if the people who raised you and made who you are today - if you should help them in times of difficulty? The answer is yes but you shouldn’t be asking on a forum to validate your thought process or tell you what you should do, you should already know the answer to this question! I feel sad for your parents / siblings if they don’t get help from their bloodline in the time of need
I had a rough go with my ex husband because understanding and generosity quickly turned into parasitic lifestyle. Some people develop skills to acquire resources not build them for themselves. It’s possible to be loving and compassionate without being an ATM.
OP, ignore the judgment. You seem genuinely concerned about the best way forward.
I see a lot of responses that are a blanket yes, help them out, but I would say you need to set boundaries and have limits if you do want to help.
Coming from a poor family, once they know you have money, it just does not stop. It may seem like a small amount of money, asking for $1000 or $2000 every now and then but it certainly adds up. Don't cosign a loan for them if you are unable to take on that burden yourself.
I have given my family $100,000 and it has depleted my savings and changed my lifestyle because I essentially have to start saving from $0 again.
Agree 💯 I am in a similar situation! I helped out since during Covid-19 to earlier this year. I stopped wheni realized they were taking full advantage of me by not looking fora job. They know I make the most money in the family and I always have money saved for a rainy day so they know I had more than enough to help out. I will never help them out again unless it's a matter of life and death!
You have to set boundaries. Helping can become enabling.
Yes
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What if this becomes a recurring thing?
VP1 - Based on OP’s comments he would help on healthcare
But I don’t think them not being able to buy a car would kill them
It depends on why they are struggling and for how long?! I helped 2 siblings and my mom since during covid-19. They were struggling and since I still had a job and some savings, I was happy to help. I stopped few months ago when I found out they were taking full advantage of me.
A close family member reached out to me, knowing I have been supporting them for over 2 years, and asked me to stop because she could see they were taking advantage of it. I don't live in the same state with them so I don't know much about what's going at home until someone tells me. They dont look for jobs, when offered jobs by friends or relatives they complain the money or job isn't good enough. I even know two friends who offered them jobs and they refused to take them. Another ex colleague and a friend of my brother told me he was wondering why my brother refuses to go back to work. That something must have happened to him to make him that way. When I confronted them, they told me they haven't found "anything they like". When I stopped giving them money, I explicitly told them I know they are turning down jobs and they aren't doing enough to look for jobs. And that all their friends who lost jobs during covid have gone back to work, because most of them didn't have financial support from friends and family, so they hustled until they bounced back. So if the people in their network can get jobs then surely they can too. It's been a month or two since I brought it up. I haven't heard any complaints so am sure they are doing great, although I know they are still staying at my mom's.
Support them for some time but make sure they don't take you for granted!!
Oh I see! Try tell your brother and his partner than you want to help them beyond the financial assistance you are been providing (if you haven't done so already). That you feel like maybe that would provide them with a long term solution. Honestly, sometimes its really hard for people to open up about these stuff but given that you have already been supporting them financially, it shouldn't be harder for them to open up about other issues.
I help in an expense I believe in: education, car and vs maintenance.
I nag em to put a plan together of how to make it back to me or my mom. From taking her to the doc to make a plan to pay me back at 1% interest.
I forget about said plan- so I never nag about this but we both know about the commitment to pay back, improve, save, or budget.
I don’t understand why would one work so hard and secure a financial cushion if you are not willing to help your loved ones with key life needs. I had a very good and loyal friend who helped me with so many marital advices that suffered from cancer recently, I paid for his children schooling without him needing to even ask. I am Muslim and it is very clear in our religion that what goes around comes around so an act of kindness is never gone unnoticed and it might have prevented something that u sure never wanted to go through, but u dunno what u dunno right :)
I commented earlier but I also want to mention that life is not transactional. While you may be in a one-sided relationship with your family, there will be times/people who support you and get nothing in return. It all works out on a big enough timeline and scope.
I have been the rock for many, and felt bad that I haven’t been as helpful to the friends who have gotten ME through hard times. Pay it forward, feel blessed that you’re in a position to help.
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Yes. You just have to manage the expectations.. if they start expecting it regularly, yet they are working but not doing anything to improve their situation, that's when you put a stop to it..
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I agree & yes for elderly, I do it unconditionally..
Yes without a doubt, we have each other’s backs.
I didn’t have the families so many of you did, but I’ll say it depends. I don’t trust most of them with a dollar, let alone my dollar.
You are stupid to even ask this question! If you are human, then help them out!!!!
Someone tell me where this world has come to!
Why does it always gotta be Deloitte? Ease up on the judginess and exclamation points, D3.
“Helping” can become “enabling to be irresponsible” or “enabling an addiction” or a detriment to your own financial situation in a way that benefits no one.
Not everything is cut and dry. Especially when it comes to family and money.