Its truly amazing to me how people treat you when you are really going thru tough times. I was laid off of my toxic job last month & have been searching for a job EVERYDAY & still have yet to find one. I have been very frustrated & disppointed almost everyday for the past few months. Today, I was contacted by a worthless temp agency to provide a reference from my recent job. I told them I did not feel comfortable giving them it b/c my previous Director told Unemployment" this person has (CONTD)

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Posting as :
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There are layers here (attempting to bring some balance since that’s what relationships are about 🤣)

1. I want to shout you out for showing up everyday and applying for new jobs.

2. Being jobless and not getting any call backs on top of not being able to get a good reference is frustrating.

3. Because you are in a relationship, yes this person should have some empathy and encourage you to remain strong.

4. You also have to take personal accountability to practice gratitude despite things not going the way you want them to go in this season. Gratitude for the little things helps you to still find moments of joy and keeps you hopeful.

5. Understand your boyfriend’s point of view, ask yourself if you both could be a little more kind to each other as you navigate this difficult time

6. Try not to do the “what if I didnt help you” thing in arguments or the “remember when I did this for you” that can feel like those favors were not really done in love, love doesn’t keep a record it should be unconditional (that goes for you and him). Instead what you can lead with is - (when you did this, it made me feel..). It is better to initiate conversation and not trigger arguments through abrupt reactions and harsh tones when speaking/inquiring.

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I wish I could like your comment 100 times, @Consultant 1.

First, I am very sorry you are going through this. As you are looking for a job, I would encourage you to find a place to volunteer. They can provide a reference for you to offset your last job, plus it will help to calm your mind helping others. Psychologically that does wonders for your mindset. Secondly, I am worried that you may be in a borderline emotionally abusive relationship. Be careful, and look for people that truly care about you and will give you the support you need(and deserve). Good luck! Send prayers of love and support your way! 🙏🙏🤗

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I could consider that but then I will have to think about paying for gas all of the time and rent comes first before anything else. I need to spend as much time as possible looking for jobs & it is a requirement for unemployment too.

Yeah I understand your concern. I am definitely guilty of calling him names like jerk and idiot when he pisses me off, which he does often.

(CONTD) a history of poor performance." Like wtf???! Who does that and I worked my ass off, constantly covering my Supervisor when she was always MIA & taking off every week??

So now im faced with potentially excluding my previous crappy employer from my resume, since I don't trust them to provide me a decent one.

Fast fortward tonight, I had post it notes in the bed & when I came back in the bedroom, my boyfriend moved all of them on my side of the bed.
I said to him "why did you put all of these over here like that?" He said "man shutup." I said "why do you have to talk to me like that??"
-He said, "because i'm tired of all of the negativity. I dont know how to deal with all of that. You've been in a negative light for the last month."

I told him "how would you feel if you laid off and constantly receive rejection emails??
He said "I have been laid off before."
I said "you werent laid off for as long as me. You are so cold & lack empathy. I looked out for you & took you to work when your car got stolen. What if I told you to find your own ride?"

He said "i would not have gotten angry with you." Like am I wrong to be frustrated??

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You can’t control what your previous Director does or says. Is there someone there that you know will give you positive reviews?

Regarding your boyfriend, it sounds like you need to set some boundaries with him. He’s talking to you sideways which is a huge red flag. Also, sounds like he doesn’t have a basic understanding that different people deal with situations in different ways.

First of all
I’d like to know your profession

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