Looking to spark a discussion here..
My wife and I both of us extremely busy execs with a heavy duty work schedule have an interesting dynamic: It doesn’t matter what time of the night but it’s usually 2,3,4,5 am - she wakes up and disregarding that I’m completely asleep wants action from me. She’ll climb the hill or poke it. This gets me frustrated at times given that I really need to recharge at night, but usually ready to go at 8am - how can we work through this situation?

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For a few weeks, try each option (give it to her whenever she wants and always make wait) and you’ll both see the need for compromise. Ask if sometimes should could take care of herself if it’s 3am and you’re exhausted.

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C1 if my husband made me wait he would NEVER get any. Female arousal is more complex than male. My husband is ready to go just by glancing at my breasts without a bra on for 1 second. I need more buildup and it's less predictable and by the time I get myself going on your schedule it'll be like 9am and I'll want coffee and to start my day. I'd rather just go at it with my vibrator when I'm in the mood rather than wait on him. Org%sms solo are as good or better than with him anyways. Is this fair probably not but I'm fine with him jerking at 8am if he wants to go and I don't. I'll even do my morning routine topless to help him out 😉

likesmart

Humble brag

funnylike
Recent IconRecent

Put me in coach! 🏃‍♂️

funnylikeuplifting

Let's trade beds?

likefunnyhelpful

I don’t see the problem here…

likesmartfunny

Allright let’s not do that..

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OP I've heard having a baby solves the too much banging problem 😈

funnylike

True story.

I’m speaking from someone married a long time. It won’t always be that way so embrace it now even if it costs some sleep. Seriously.

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OP, I think your wife is being selfish and disrespectful. An occasional middle of the night romp is 🔥. Having your sleep disrupted every single night for over a year when you have asked her to respect your sleep time is not OK.

I would just say no to her advances in the middle of the night a few times. Tell her you need to sleep. Let her know you want her and will be happy to do it before bed or in the morning. Or middle of the night on the weekends.

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SM2 he absolutely can say when he wants s&x but she also has the right to establish boundaries and say she doesn't want it under those conditions and she'd rather have none. I'd feel the same way if the roles were reversed but biological reality is 99% of the time men will agree to compromise on their s&x schedule rather than risk not getting any. Blame evolution or your deity not me I didn't design this 🤣

Work less. Life is short.

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My husband wakes up a lot earlier than I do, so I typically will tell him the night before how I’m feeling about being woken up for action (should be be in the mood). I sometimes get migraines if I don’t get enough sleep, and I can’t always go back to sleep after being woken up for action.

Admittedly this does take some spontaneity out of our relationship, but the reality is that we both work and have to find a balance that doesn’t render the other person useless at work the next day.

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OP My husband also falls asleep / back to sleep quickly whereas once I’m up, it’s for a couple hours at least. As much as l love intimacy, I also love my sleep.

This is easy. The problem isn’t that she’s waking you up, it’s HOW she’s waking you up.

👉🏼🚫
🏇🚫
😮🍆✅

funnylike

True story

funny

Deloitte can help with that.

helpfulfunny

Yes

How about taking care of her before going to sleep?

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This is the type of marriage I want.

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I'd recommend figuring out a solution and communicating. Otherwise there might be a divorce lawyer involved at some point.

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Man, if only I would “wake up” at 2 am, would imply I wasn’t still working :(

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Be curious. Instead of rejecting her ask her what she likes about that time of night. When she answers you ask how you can replicate that at other times.

Guide the compromise without being judgmental or rejecting her.

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OP I used to be like your wife. A few complaints was all it took and I stopped. That and a lot of other things. Tread lightly.

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It just changed the dynamic of our relationship. No one takes kind to rejection.

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Ill let her ride mine 🤪

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Move to the spare room?

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What conversations have you had about it so far?

If you show with your actions that you're not okay with this by rejecting her advances, that's very clear and she likely won't do it much after that. People don't like rejection

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