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Looking for some book recommendations :)
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I like the concept of stay listening in Hand in Hand parenting approach. Where you can just be there with them with out any pressure to do anything, question them, etc.
It shows you are there, they are safe they are not alone.
They have emotions that are natural and ok (sometimes loud anger etc sometimes happy etc anything). After the emotion passes. When they're ready you can continue.
This may be them telling you what they were upset about or it could be they're done. Let's move forward and you don't address it at all.
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I like your example about the book. I need to find subtle ways to have him talk about feelings and emotions in safe spaces when he’s not freaked out.
Nothing has happened (at least to my knowledge). I’m worried that something could theoretically happen especially as he starts to get into grade school.
Recent example was the secret life of pets was on TV and he happened to catch what might’ve been a perilous scene. My wife walked over and he just started crying and neither of us could figure out why. He wouldn’t answer any of our questions. Even now I’m not sure if that is what upset him.
He’s generally been a little bit of a quieter, cautious kid but I’m so worried that as he gets older he might be bullied and not stand up for himself or say anything to anyone. Or god forbid something even worse. I’m hoping this is just a phase but I think in general his personality when he’s scared is to just clam up.
This is super tough and I have no answers. My 7yo has been on major edge these 1st 2 weeks of school, breaking down over random things like not being able to go play baseball in the alley at 8pm. I'm frustrated and nervous, hoping that it is partially the back to school transition and that his friends are mostly in the other 2nd grade class. Just continue to reinforce that you and your wife are there. Maybe try going for a walk and see if he opens up?
Is there someone else he might open up too - like a teacher at school?
Try not to think of these things in terms of shaping his future personality. Be there in the more immediate need of helping your son feel secure with you. These could be emotional growth spurts and new feelings he can't describe, like melancholy. I remember having these thoughts at age six or younger, triggered by sad movies and songs, and then later having the label for the feelings. I've explained melancholy to my own kids at that age. Hopefully there's nobody in his life outside the home, child or adult, causing any conflict or trauma that's weighing on him. Independent emotional growth is the best case scenario for causing an emotional rollercoaster in children.
Just be there with him, maybe take him on a little nature adventure just father and son. When he's having those moments explain that you have those moments too and some feelings can't be explained or described, but they're normal. It's important for him to know the spectrum of feelings is normal.
I'm sure there are sesame street videos for these kinds of topics. At age six of the child has higher intelligence there might be
Yeah he definitely picks up on so much more than I might realize. In years previous he maybe understood tone and inflection but not all the vocabulary and content of discussions. Now he’s starting to read and is asking insightful questions that clearly show deductive reasoning.
The knife cuts both ways. Maybe I need to have more active conversations with him about emotions because he can grasp them better, but he also can learn so much from his environment that we don’t even realize he’s taking in until it shows up as something he’s scared of.
He could be bullied at school or daycare.