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What is your companies medical insurance like?
I think my company has not so good insurance but that’s just compared to friends I know that work down at the docks/port.
Current medical plan - single person.
plan is level 2 out of 3 tiers.
$97 a month blue anthem ppo
$1700 deductible
$4000 out of pocket max
100% preventive covered
80% diagnostic covered AFTER deductible hit
80% prescription covered AFTER $200 deductible hit…
Thinking about having surgery for my knee and this seems costly
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Writing here isn't the answer, you need professional help. You guys need to get into counseling asap. Make sure your concerns are crystal clear and that she knows where you're at. See if you can find middle ground on some things but honestly, it sounds like you're near the check out point.
Conselling works when both of persons are mature enough to understand counsellor and do what he says,. but when that's not a case, may be partner wants to do their own,. no one can help,.. he might be writing here, bcz he seems to be in pain,. expression of pain gives relief at some extent.
First, end the booze. Second, tell mom-in-law to stay out of your business for one month to give you time to sort things out. Block her number. De-friend her on Facebook. If she shows up uninvited, shut the door in her face. Talk to your wife about those things that bring you together -- your son, the reasons you married, the good times you've shared. Express your feelings about the things that are pulling you apart. Ask her how she feels about that. Is there something you are doing that drives her up the wall that perhaps you failed to mention in your comment? Before you wade into this ocean, be prepared. Be serene. Be controlled. Don't yell. Don't accuse. Don't insult. Be ready for your wife to be just the opposite of that, but don't let it change your attitude. This is easier said than done. If it is a surprise to you, it is impossible. Expect it and if it doesn't happen, yay you. Understand this exercise may result in things being said that cannot be unsaid. If you don't want to risk that possibility, then just do nothing and let the marriage fall under its own weight. You could consider marriage counseling. They will probably tell you to say things like "It makes me feel __________ when you (say/do) __________." You must be the rational one. Don't get on your male superiority high horse and say, "I'm the head of this household and you will do what I tell your do or you can do whatever you want to somewhere else." That, dear heart, would be your closing comment. I made the mistake of leading with that one in my first marriage and so far haven't come close to using it again.
She gave birth last year, she may be dealing with post-partum depression. Both of you need individual therapy and joint couple’s counseling.
Do it now so you don’t lose your marriage. Find activities you can both do together, plan weekends and date nights to spend more time together. And be ready to take accountability for your actions too and improve; it’s not just in her court.
If she just had a baby last year then you better be doing half the responsibilities of raising that child and making sure her needs are being met. You both need therapy and to work through this as a team. I strongly suspect you aren’t doing this and are trying to gaslight her into thinking that every thing is fine and she is being hysterical. If you aren’t doing this, then you still need therapy and to work with a marriage counselor to help you two adjust to your new life as parents.
Was she always like this before you married her? If not, what has changed?
There’s probably something causing it. Might be some resentment on her part
If you don't have kids get out before you do.
Wait a minute… So you said nothing changed, but she just had a baby last year. What kind of demands is she making? What are some specific instances where she’s being unreasonable?
Therapy?
This is the problem of almost 50 percent of the married men.
The real point is
You grow the expectations to a new heights altogether and then boom.
Mom in laws are like ghee in the fire.
Damad ji ki g*****d f****d do beta ,kaise sahi chal rahe hai ye, daaru peene pe majboor kar do , taaki mar Jaye yeask her to stay out of your business.
It is sounding more like the mother-in-law has an undue influence over the personal life of her daughter. You will need to apply wisdom to manage the situation cuz it's sounding more like somebody in the shadows is getting some form of benefit either financially/socially. A few things to keep in mind when discussing with your spouse
Explain to her that any joint decision stays within the confines of the home
* Never discuss finances with in-laws, that's only meant for you and your spouse.
*Any big moves like buying a new house or cars shouldn't be disclosed except if necessary.
*Limit in-laws calls to once monthly or 3 months.
Explain to your wife that her parents have lived their life to an extent and that she has hers to live in her own terms.
* If in-laws needs support, make sure it's reasonable and not something that will put a financial strain on the home.
You need therapy asap! Online or in person. They can help you sort through your feelings. No need to be ashamed. We can’t do much but a therapist is a professional and will help guide you to the outcome you want and for you that seems like quitting alcohol and reconnecting with your family. Goodluck.
Can’t change her but you can change how you behave.
I might consider laying out some new ground rules that include how you expect to be treated as an equal partner and contributor to the relationship. Then come up with respectful ways to respond (or not) to her behavior.
Probably the most important part is to do a self assessment. Are you behaving in a way that warrants respected behavior? Don’t go down the alcohol route, it’s a waste of time (I did). For me, turning it into the gym routine or getting back to hobbies I enjoyed was far more fruitful.
Good luck, it’s not easy but you can navigate it.
Yes introspect and put some ground rule for both of you.. don’t take alcohol it will just damage more to your relationship.. and people can blame that all problems are happening just for your alcohol consumption.. try to make her understand not to bring her mother in moat of the matter .. it is always better only when it is between two of you
Are kids involved?
No
Find a dude to seduce her and get her to file for divorce but you file for full custody of the child(ren) if there are any involved. Unfortunately you have failed to assert your dominance over her. We’re pack animals and she knows you’re not the leader of the pack.
No fault divorce is about $500. Only in New York state will one need proof of adultery, in the old days unhappy married people would hire a "mistress" and pay them $300 to fake cheating.
Hello :) this is from a coach perspective. Take her out for a date and share that you are mentally stressed because of few things and you think that she will understand your point of view. Tell her your top 2 concerns and ask if she would be open to discuss these concerns because you believe that you love her too much to not think about getting separated/divorce. If you feel she is understanding, then propose you two could get a relationship counsellor and work on your issues. I hope this helps :)
Why not do a formal therapy and get things on record with a neutral party like a psych? You need to genuinely figure if this will work and then make amends or quit.
And dude, alcohol consumption is against your interest. Whichever way your case goes (recon with wife, separation or divorce). Like really messy legal action.
I'm trying to quit alcohol but you know at the end of the day we stressed out professionals need sleep and an arm to accomodate. Sadly I don't get that arm neither peace.
I was never like this before marriage and I hate myself what I've done to my body and life.
I'm so sorry to bring down my personal problem to this forum but I'm really helpless and I need HELP.
Ask her to do job, she will understand the value of money
Hi there,
You should travel somewhere without her to clear out your mind. You will see if the distance will repair your relationship.
Seems exactly what I am going through !!!
I took my measures and waiting to see whats the output
What measures you have taken if I may know
You have kids? If not it could be your best bet to jump ship now