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PwC India Hi Folks, I left my stable job at Deloitte USI and moved to Germany for a better job. But my mom had a major health issue and I'm planning to travel back to India to support her as I'm a single child. I'm working in one of the top organisation in Germany with a base of 90k euro and looking for good opportunities in India. Availability: immediately Tech stack: SAP BASIS/Hana with azure/GCP Exp: 8.8 EY PwC India Pwc AC Accenture Deloitte HCL Technologies
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[query] Is it a good idea to say a firm No due to medical reasons to a new night shift project I'm hired in?Accenture
I recently got a night shift project (2 days ago) that requires me to work from 10:30pm till 7:30am
I'm not comfortable with these timings and I'm thinking to ask my manager to put me on Bench (Due to medical reasons that involve mental health)
Is it a nice idea to say a firm No to a new project I'm hardlocked into, due to night shifts?
Are health/pharma agencies hiring??
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Work sucks and I just wanna cuddle 🥺
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I am not getting sleep!!
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I’ve struggled with social, mental challenges for most of my life because of growing up in a broken, uneducated household/environment, poverty stricken part of the country. Learning how to assimilate into university and corporate settings, adapting, gaining respect, was an uphill battle.
You don’t owe your parents anything.
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Your Mom isn't allowing anything OP, many an alcoholic will.keep drinking right on through divorce.
My Mom is a co-dependent alcoholic drama queen, it definitely shaped me, and not in a good way. I was in my 30's and had gotten sober myself when I was finally able to put my foot down. She basically put me in a situation where I had to choose either her or my fiance, while she was visiting and stsying with us, and rather than caving like usual I found myself angry and and fully prepared to drop her off at a hotel.
From then on, I began to see my Mom moreso as a broken individual who needed grace and love, and she was no longer a strong influence in my life. The emotional games continued to a lesser degree, but because I no longer played into them, it no longer affected me.
I say it in past tense because my Mom now has dementia, and she no longer has the mental capacity to be her old self. It's a relief to a certain degree, but also depressing watching her deteriorate right in front of us. Life has come full circle, and because I had made peace with her old ways, I am able to be her primary caregiver with love and without resentment.
It's not easy, but you need to take their power over you away from them.
My parents are immigrants. We grew up in the ghetto. Drive-bys were the norm. Getting pat down before entering school was common. The only way to make rent was to live with other relatives/friends - we had 4 families in a 4 bedroom house. My parents didn’t make the best choices, gambled, smoked from a bong, partied/drank all the time, didn’t encourage us to go to college.
I ‘got out’ and did not let their choices affect my life. Put myself through college (undergrad and grad school). No one could ever guess I grew up the way I did from the way I carry myself and how I choose to speak. I own a house. I have a decent size retirement account and invested strategically in stocks throughout the years. I’m much better off than my parents, but it’s no thanks to them. If you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way, not excuses.
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I echo SA1’s suggestion. It will help tremendously.
It’s interesting because a lot of the high performers I know (myself included) come with some type of emotional baggage stemming from their family life/childhood. And it makes sense for multiple reasons including we are constantly trying to prove ourselves.
You can’t change your parents nor the past but you can control the present and obtain success. for yourself. You can certainly put boundaries and separate yourself from unhealthy environment (esp if your dad doesn’t want to get help and go to rehab). You can also move far away, or anywhere you want. Distance can help you sometimes.
Yup, mom has multiple health problems and had a kid when I was 22. She makes close to minimum wage and I have to live at home because she can’t afford to live by herself and I can’t afford to cover two homes.
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My pops just free rolls and then liver burst. My mom just chooses to handhold and I’m like “why is this my problem?”
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I do feel this way. However, you still have to try to move forward for yourself.
I will add that therapy helps in a BIG way.
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Yes, it’s rare but I feel that.
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absolutely, but you have to forgive them and move on. my dad's and immigrant who just never figured out how the social system works, he married this terrible autistic white girl from the suburbs and that's unfortunately my mom, she's one of the most insufferable people I've ever met she is so self centered and has no taste, no friends, can barely hold a conversation with her. I did what I think my dad should have done, I moved out of my home town to a place where my immigrant mix would be more favorable for my dating life, and now I'm just out here doing the struggle trying and many times messing up with women, sometimes their fault, sometimes mine. I had a decent and workable financial foundation, can't complain about that, and they stayed together, but boy o boy did I miss out socially
You have a mother wound, it comes out in the way you speak about her, and I’m not surprised you struggle with women. You should definitely discuss that in therapy.
I’m not sure if you fully grasp her disability. Autism is a neurological developmental disability, a person needs adequate professional help and support to get through life. Inability to make friends stems from her disability, same with appearing “self centered”. I feel bad for your mom, that’s a tough life. I can’t imagine referring to a disabled mother as “terrible white autistic girl”. You have some deep issues to resolve, and I say that kindly.
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If you're 18 years or older, your main problem is to focus on how you will survive in this world on your own. Blaming your parents is a copout. It sure sounds like they have problems, but assuming they're adults, they're responsible for their own problems. The harder thing to do is to try to do something with your life so you can be financially independent.
This is gently intended - it’s beyond time to let your parents grow up and be responsible for their own choices - just like you had to do. Nothing they’ve got going on should require YOU to move in to support them. And again, said very gently, you doing so only enables and encourages the behavior you want to stop.
I’m not saying “cut them off,” that’s a whole different conversation for a different day. I am saying, let them make their own decisions and work through whatever comes with that, good or bad. If you get a call that so and so is in the hospital, you can say, “I’m really sorry to hear that.” And perhaps offer to send dinner via DoorDash or whatever, or simply come by the hospital with a balloon or something. If they say, our lights are off and we can’t turn them back on for two weeks, and you reeeeally want to help, you can offer to drop off peanut butter, jelly, bread, and some candles/flashlights. The point is not to be harsh or cruel. The point is to let adults be adults, including you. There is no reason for your parents or any one that you did not birth/co-create or wed to be preventing you from reaping the benefits (and freedoms) of your own life choices.
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Why are you bag holding if they’re as bad as you say?
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They have no retirement. Check to check. At some point they can’t work forever and I’ll be their only source of income. I try to ignore it - but I know that day will come.
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But I’m like “yo yall are adults”
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Their fault or not its now your problem. You can let it hinder you or you can take action to improve your life starting now