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Additional Posts in Micro aggressions and Bullying
Bowl Leader
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Bowl Leader
Food for thought this a Friday. Quiet quitting has been trending for the last few weeks. This is problematic in two ways. A) Doesn’t actually identify the root cause for burnout (I.e abuse at work or poor company culture B) Completely dismisses a whole demographic of people unable to do the bare minimum without facing penalty. Any other thoughts? https://www.theroot.com/why-is-quiet-quitting-a-thing-for-white-people-but-n-1849407594/amp
Bowl Leader
Bowl Leader
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“Reflecting on and adopting the use of micro-affirmations would be a positive strategy to prevent microaggressions. Micro-affirmations are small acts that foster inclusion, listening, comfort and support for people who may feel isolated or invisible in their environment. Focus on action, not avoidance – create new good behaviours.”
Bowl Leader
Bowl Leader
“Tone policing is defined as "a conversational tactic that dismisses the ideas being communicated when they are perceived to be delivered in an angry, frustrated, sad, fearful, or otherwise emotionally charged manner." Managers striving to create a workplace based on equity and inclusion must understand how tone policing silences members of marginalized groups and allows discrimination to persist.” https://www-businessinsider-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.businessinsider.com/how-to-identify-and-help-stop-tone-policing-in-workplace-2020-8?amp
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So to expand on what happened;
This is a mom and pop commercial laundry business that has a very tight knit family run vibe with the two senior employees being there for 6+ years. These two senior employees would constantly make comments to each other and to the owner family about how lazy, unprofessional, dishonest, etc. they perceived me and my husband to be. We were the new kids at the playground so to speak and we each had traits that made us easy targets. I'm an aspiring artist on the side and am passionate about fashion/expression so I would dress nicely, but always within the bounds of professionalism and the physical demands of my job. My husband has suffered through multiple and chronic health issues that force him to rest and/or relieve himself at very often and regular intervals throughout the day. Our boss was aware of this. We had barely even spoken to these two people at all throughout our employment. Over time, the comments became glares as either of us walked to the bathroom, and then the comments were directed to us rather than amongst each other. I wrote a letter to this person curtly but professionally drawing boundaries against the abuse explaining that I would have no choice but to escalate to the owners if it continued. I was then told that these people told the owners that >I< was the one harassing THEM citing the letter as "threatening". I tried to explain myself and encourage the owner to think critically, but the damage had been done. I was told to just ignore it and to "look in the mirror" and "you'll learn this in therapy"... The comments continued and became more and more inappropriate. I brought the issue to the owner again and, again, nothing was done. On my last day, the abusers teamed up to intentionally make me uncomfortable and entice a reaction out of me like a game. With the context of absolute distrust in my toxic boss I eventually caved and confronted the abusers directly and things got very out of hand verbally very fast. Voices were raised and she again publicly projected her own vile behavior onto me.
My boss took her side also accusing me of her abuse and I just lost it. There were expletives from me. I was fired.
I would have the grounds via the EEOC to sue the owner and the business for retaliation after reporting workplace harassment if the business had 15 or more employees, but this owner intentionally employs 14 at maximum to avoid federal law. There's nothing I can do.
What should I have done in this situation? Is there anything I can do now after the fact?
Thanks for reading!
Did they go as far as to inconvenience your life after they terminated your position like my employer did to me because he was to cheap to just buy the right parts and have the issues resolved when they occur, yeah your not the only one
I am just so disgusted by these people. Wish there was a way I could get actual justice. I know you're reading buddy! Watch the CCTV footage of your sh*t employees and then come try to gaslight me some more why don't ya? God I wish I could sue this is just ridiculous. Maybe I still can I'll do some research.
Im in the same boat , kinda , if you have documentation , call a employment lawyer
Bowl Leader
I second this. This is why I’m a huge advocate for keeping a daily log. It will be is useful in case of legal issues or reinforcing issues.
Bowl Leader
So sorry to hear this was an experience you had to go through.
Unfortunately, you can forget about getting justice from this incident. Don't waste your time calling an employment attorney. These cases are extremely difficult to prove and unless you're willing to hand over thousands of dollars in attorney fees for little chance of getting justice, you're not going to find an attorney willing to take your case. Blunt, yes. I know. It's also the truth which often is blunt.
You made a few mistakes but use that as a learning experience for what not to do if you're in a similar position in the future. Never mind all the assumptions in your post.
You came into a tight knit culture. Right away, you've got to fit in, work your way in or find a way to get along on the outside. Long term employees in a small business often don't like outsiders because of the changes that come with. New people upset the vibe.
Never let things go past the first instance. You let it go for far too long before saying something.
You shouldn't have written that letter. Nice piece of physical ammo you handed over on a platter. Never put anything in writing you don't want used against you later.
Did you really think the boss was going to take your side and upset his long term, well trained employees' apple cart? NO. In fact, he told you to ignore it, which clearly communicated his stance on childish games.
You fell for those games, walked right into it and gave the reaction those people were trying to provoke. You lost, they won and you're gone.
#1 rule when working for a small business: Do your work and stay out of the little kid games.
#1 rule in any workplace: Politely and professionally call out bad behavior the first time it occurs. Document, document, document. Escalate to supervisors if it happens again. If it happens a third time, start working on an exit plan.