Struggling with separating what's for real and what my anxiety is making me believe. Like when I am stressing about something, I don't know if things are going south and I should be doing something...

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A1 - those are some excellent suggestions. You lifted my mood just by giving me an action plan to work on - thank you!

K1 - thank you for your kind words. I guess I just needed some time to see things in perspective. The day it happened I felt like a mess, but i started to see the more rational explanation after a day had passed.

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My default is usually to tell my anxiety that it's the best case scenario. I won't know in any case.

I.e. if folks are looking at me when I walk into a place, it could be that I look silly, that they don't like black people, etc. Or it could be that I'm really attractive and they are ogling. One is an ego boost. The other is a sure way to feel down. And the truth is that I won't know in any case, so the positive is more useful. Truth could be that they're not looking at me at all but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I know that's not how the brain works

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If this is work related, find a trusted work friend or counselor and make sure you're checking the right boxes in terms of your actual work. The only other thing to do is make enough friends that you never feel like you're unsure or out of the pulse of things

Also, if it's something else, giving an example would help!

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Thank you A1, that is very good advice.

It was indeed work related. The particular incident that sparked this post was that I was overlooked for a meeting invite which I had requested to be a part of. The person in question already apologized and mentioned it was just oversight since a lot of things were happening too fast and they got things mixed. But my brain immediately jumps to the conclusion that my colleagues probably don't like working with me. Or think I don't add value to meetings. Or that I need to fix how I am perceived at work. Also doesn't help that I am a little socially awkward, shy and introverted in general.

Was wondering if I should set up a meeting with different people in the team to ask questions like these, but then I figured it would just display my anxiety. In a new team right now, so don't have anyone in a trusted mentor role yet.

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Oh, makes sense! When I don't know how to bond with people at work, I bring in food. Healthy snack subscription services like naturebox keep things interesting, and give you a little conversation starter and makes you memorable for being thoughtful

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Something else I've done is ask what everyone's birthday is (on projects that are at least a year) and make sure to bring in a small treat (candy, cookies, something like that) for everyone to share on that day.

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These are little things that make people think of you, and remember you a bit better. All of the food usually Sparks conversation that's both non work-related *and* non personal or controversial. It's a perfect neutral ground, almost like the weather, but with endorphins and energy. Lol

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Should you worry- probably not. But there are small ways to get people to pay more attention to you subconsciously, and it can be some simple things (random kindness and subtle team bonding) that don't require you to suddenly be a social butterfly. Good luck!

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Op ur fine. It was oversight, it happens. Believe in urself and ur capabilities, theres a reason u made it this far.

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... Or if it's just my anxiety and I actually need to deal with my mind rather than an actual problem. Sorry if I am meandering, trying to figure out how to ask my question in general terms.

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