This is my second year in PA and first married. Does anyone have any tips how to make it easier on my spouse? I feel like WFH has made it worst b/c I seem “available” but really need to work all day.

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This was hard for me to get the hang of and it took me sometime to figure out what my wife was exactly asking for, but I think I have it figured out. I can easily get so wrapped up at work that I completely forget what’s going on outside of my job and as a result the romance/magic/chemistry starts to gradually disappear.

I try to be consistent with maintaining the romance in our marriage almost everyday by just paying attention to small actions that I can take in order to do so. I always make sure that we have dinner together, take the dogs out for a walk in the evening, and spend a little more time together after that. My wife will come home around 530/6, so typically I’ll just stop working for 2-3 hours after that then sign back on and work for however long I can/need to. Outside of that, have a date night once a week or maybe a weekend afternoon where you plan something, don’t just order pizza on a Saturday night and watch a movie, that gets old real quick. It doesn’t have to be overly complex and it’s kinda hard because of the pandemic, but there are leisurely things to do. For example, we’ll go for a long bike ride to the beach or check out some restaurant with outdoor seating. Little romantic gestures throughout the week go a long way as well, like during the week pop buy the grocery store and pick up some flowers, leave notes etc.

likeupliftinghelpful

Fellow lady here, and a romantic like you. Don’t get your hopes up, TS 1. It is very difficult to find men like this, and on top of that have mutual chemistry and physical attraction, etc. I’ve become jaded over the years

Biggest advice I got was - the world doesn’t stop spinning just because it’s busy season.

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I know a lot of people give their significant others a “busy season” gift just to show their grateful. But I get the whole looking “available” all day, feel like I’m in the same boat.

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Nah- don’t get them a busy season gift- save the money to spend on the divorce

likefunny

This same scenario caused me to switch to industry. Better pay and better work life balance has made our marriage better

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Add’l we don’t have kids and she has a 9-5

Hot take: having a spouse in public accounting is a challenge if the other one has a 9-5. Especially at the staff level. The firm expects you to be all-consumed by work at that level and certainly doesn’t allow you time for a spouse. Good luck.

I tell my husband to please just let me be until lunch time. I need to get (theoretically) half way done with my day and then he can distract me all he wants. Generally the freedom to do that makes him basically never pester me.

Also, for busy season specifically when it’s wake up, work, sleep I ask him what is a daily or maybe 3 times weekly task I can do around the house. He knows I don’t have the time to pull my weight so if I show that I’m willing to do something (sweep around the litter tray everyday or make sure there’s bottles of water stocked in the fridge) it generally makes it go smoother.

Though, when we first got together I had work visa issues so he was the breadwinner and I was the stay at home spouse. So he knows I used to run around after him and now it’s his turn. This is not a common situation for most relationships though.

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