We have a few new hires, mostly Gen Z, and one of them goes by they/them pronouns. I heard them say that they don't want to work under their manager because he never addresses them with the right pronouns. I spoke to the manager about this, and he said he isn't doing it intentionally; he's just not used to using they/them as pronouns for a person. As a team player, I want the new hire to feel accepted, but also want them to understand that the manager just needs some time to get accustomed. How would you intervene?

Insane. People didn't even get my name right when I started working. I can't imagine being uncomfortable based on someone not using random pronouns that I decided to designate.

I’m struggling to understand why so many people are so offended and outraged at being asked to make a very small amount of effort to show basic respect to a very small group of people who have truly experienced more than their share of persecution in recent years. Trans and nonbinary people exist and have always existed. Biological sex is not a binary, there are real, proven, genetic variations and there are absolutely variations in how people experience gender. This is not a problem! We can all handle the tiny efforts needed to make everyone feel welcome and respected for who they are - and this goes beyond gender. For example, it is reasonable for people to expect their colleagues to pronounce their names correctly too, even if the name is unfamiliar and it requires effort to get it right. And just in case anyone is wondering, I am a cisgender woman (assigned female at birth, always identified as female), Gen X, from Texas.

They need to get over it. Addressing them by their name is just fine.

Tell the they/them to grow a pair, they/them are an adult now, and the real world isn't some fantasy land

The manager should actively try. I can guarantee the new hire is feeling uncomfortable working under them as they're feeling disrespected, and would understand if it were a genuine mistake or could see them correcting themselves / apologising.

If this GenZ'er is that sensitive to this issue, grow a pair and speak to the manager like a normal human being. Communicate. Maybe you'll also learn a thing called tolerance. What other options does he have? Unless the firm has a "select a manager day"? And if this open dialogue doesn't clear things up i a reasonable time....I guess he can always see himself out. and find a new manager/company whose day prioritizes such issues.

Have you suggested that they speak to their manager about it and that is isn't malicious based on your follow up with their manager? This sounds like they're already just worried about fitting in at work so any amount of perceived push back is going to feel malicious at first, perhaps it's their first job since using these new pronouns etc who knows but it sounds like you're already looking out for them and I'm sure they'd feel better knowing they've actually got you and their manager on side and that it's just a learning curve.

I can't believe some of the replies to this, not even answering the question firstly and secondly get over it! It's literally a pronoun and they're asking to have you continue to use they and them like you would if you were told somebody was hired and you asked oh what role were THEY hired for. They're just asking not to be gendered, it's not going to kill you to show a little compassion, hard to believe I know.

They and them are plural pronouns. The manager is not obligated to play along with this nonsense.

let they/them go

In reading the negative, sarcastic politically charged comments, I have to wonder if some of these same people lack self-awareness, and how that translates to their level of professionalism, whether they are interviewing for a new job, or are just working among co-workers. This isn't about being "politically correct"... it's about being respectful to a colleague, and also mitigating risk to your employer through disrepectful and showing hostility towards another employee.

End this charade by insisting a name be given to each and every "they/them" running around in their head.
They refuse?
Well, then their whole "they/them" veil has been pierced?
They sue?
Good, can't wait to see who "they" list as Plainiff(s) - LOL!

Actively try to help them to help them feel safe and secure at work. I'm Gen Z myself and while I go by he/him, it's always important to hear them out. I think that's what makes our generation unique and hopefully closer is that we are just more EMPATHETIC and CARING about other human beings, and you see that being reinforced on the political side as well. Millenials and GenZ always get the short-end of the stick but we stick out our necks way more for people that the other older generations don't seem to care (except when they love to b1tch about "how awful" our generation(s) is/are.) :)

When at work... do work, when at your private life, do private life, the pronouns are an added level of "private life" complication not worth existing in any organization, IT ALWAYS ENDS UP, creating a THREATENING HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT! with constant trips to HR, because 1 or another was offended as a 3 rd or 4rth party and EVEN DESTROYING ENTIRE PROJECTS based on this week's feelings... as no one knows who identifies as a man, woman, duck or cow anymore, it should be eliminated and the applicant told PICK and be clear HOW they want to be addressed,(carry a NAME TAG) as the new member COMING INTO AN ESTABLISHED TEAM! DON'T BE ABRASIVE and force CHANGE to SENIOR MEMBER people who are not OBLIGATED TO CATER!, and become the toxic environment exclusivity individual demanding special treatment above and beyond what the other peers ALREADY THERE! are getting, to suit a singular EGO? I'm hiring for a WELDER, not an LGBT activist! do that OUTSIDE OF COMPANY HOURS, and not REPRESENTING THE COMPANY!

Unfortunately, it tends to take a conversation about protected classes and liability for people who struggle to speak in a manner that contradicts what they believe or what they have known their whole lives to change. Those that are offended that it is a struggle for people to speak differently from what they believe only want tolerance when applied in their direction. Which is one of the reasons half of my staff commented recently that they only want me to hire Gen X moving forward. Two of which were millennials. Respect needs to be given to everyone.

Regardless of your personal opinions on gender, you have an obligation to the company as a representative employee, to follow your company's policies based on employment law. Acting otherwise raises serious liability issues for your company, and yourself. Believe it or not, some employees enter the workforce to take advantage of the ignorance and arrogance of mid managers responsible for carrying out corporate policy as defined by HR. The courts are full examples of those unwilling to follow very distinct policies based on labor laws. While it may seem trivial in the grind of productivity, to bother with employee's personal preferences, labor laws have changed significantly in the last decade giving protected classes of employees very real protections under the law. Ignore them at your peril.

To answer the question, I would simply try to explain the new hire that this is an adjustment period and just as they, as a new employee, are afforded a little grace and empathy, your manager does as well. For everyone getting so oddly upset over this, I'd like to ask you why. Would you not become annoyed and feel a lack of respect being repeatedly referred to as "it" in the workplace? As many have stated, this is along the same lines as expecting that your name be pronounced correctly. This is an act that requires very little effort to show basic respect to a new colleague. Similar to accommodations, as long as this has no impact on the business, it should not be difficult to make these small adjustments.

Not all change is good. There was a time where sexual scenes on TV were not appropriate and now because we accepted things being pushed at us, now sexual scenes are sometimes very revealing and it's in everything. So using these pronouns to make everyone happy is in my opinion not a change for the good. We have names use them and then you don't have to worry about it, people that don't agree with the pronoun situation don't have to change the way they think or change their rightful opinion and the people that want special pronouns used can't be offended if someone doesn't use the correct pronoun.

Controlling people's language isn't the true respect you are looking for. Show up on time, be there during crunch time, support your team, do solid work, make and meet commitments.

Those actions of consistency and character will get you levels of respect that carries through between jobs.

That’s exactly what I would do.

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