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Additional Posts in #OverheardAtWork
“Chatroulette, but for apartment peepholes."
“Fuck it I’m going to PDF this bitch"
“We had complimenting genitalia.”
“I get such a rush when I’m eating a taco."
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Insane. People didn't even get my name right when I started working. I can't imagine being uncomfortable based on someone not using random pronouns that I decided to designate.
I was thinking the same thing 😂 I can't remember anybody's name and I don't expect anyone to remember mine.
I’m struggling to understand why so many people are so offended and outraged at being asked to make a very small amount of effort to show basic respect to a very small group of people who have truly experienced more than their share of persecution in recent years. Trans and nonbinary people exist and have always existed. Biological sex is not a binary, there are real, proven, genetic variations and there are absolutely variations in how people experience gender. This is not a problem! We can all handle the tiny efforts needed to make everyone feel welcome and respected for who they are - and this goes beyond gender. For example, it is reasonable for people to expect their colleagues to pronounce their names correctly too, even if the name is unfamiliar and it requires effort to get it right. And just in case anyone is wondering, I am a cisgender woman (assigned female at birth, always identified as female), Gen X, from Texas.
I am non-binary.
I think that my own community is pushing this thing too far for several reasons :
1 - Non-binary is NOT trans. I am not trans. I do not desire to change my body and I don't think my suffering is even close to that of a trans person. Period, full stop.
2 - There is a HUGE amount of cultural appropriation at play that is almost never mentioned. Non-binary cultures are 18 and counting, and we're asking our society to fake it as if it was always a thing in the West - it's not the case and that's not how it works.
Enforcing something by making people feel bad because we suddenly want to play having the same culture as indigenous societies with 3 genders is the PEAK of woke irony.
Also, making people feel terrible about things they don't know/are trying to get accommodated to on purpose is genuinely one of the least kind thing anyone can do.
To top if all of, while singular "they" is indeed a thing in English, other langages like French use lazy mashups like "ielle" which is literally "hshe" (il/elle = he/she).
I refuse for this travesty of "respect" to be used as my pronoun, full stop. It's literally laughing at us.
Overall if you're a trans person then yes this is genuine.
There are also biological variations in trans people.
Personally I do not think that me as a non-binary individual which is how I choose to identify and not anything else as far as I'm concerned, has the right to be this incredibly asinine about this.
It's like a physician always telling people wrong because this and that scientific thing was disproven 24/7 - ok, we get it.
"This table isn't solid is 90% void" cool beans, and it IS true.
But will I try to explain that to everyone all the time? Please end me.
Personally I have tried and figured out that not caring was far better for my mental health. However as I said, I do not experience gender dysphoria so that's speaking for myself and also other enby people who I think may feel the same but won't voice their concerns to a community that has mostly excluded me and misgendered me more than anyone for appearing as male - ironic, isn't it? - and I get it.
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I would share both perspectives with both the manager and the new hire, ultimately, sharing that in any print and online documentation and regulatory content, the new hire will be identified as “they/them”, however, on an individual and social level, it isn’t a fireable or violating offense since it has been questioned and appears to be a mistake and not done in error.
So automatically you are saying that the company legally has them recorded and identified as they/them and that it is a singular person that may be having a hard time adjusting or managing that change. This puts it into perspective. This way the new hire cannot say the company isn’t progressive or doesn’t identify w correct pronouns.
I think then maybe sharing a story or contextual example like sharing to they/them new hire that imagine their coworker got married and next day you had to go from saying Miss Smith to Mrs Jones and you made an error, how would you want Miss Smith to respond to you? Would you want her to assume you’re doing it on purpose or that it’s an adjustment?
I think when you use storytelling and examples and share both perspectives without taking sides (as along as the case permits) that can help ease tension. Usually these things are based on the perceived idea of disrespect. But once they see the human under the mistake, it can be easier for the new hire to ease up and by sharing the managers perspective as well as the new hires, the manager can be more inclined to remember to use they/them especially since you went to do much trouble over it. Would be embarrassing for the manager to make the mistake at that point.
Give me a job and you can call me whatever you want.
The Boss may not always be right, but they are always the boss. Don't get in the middle of this.
Just tell it that this the real world and nobody is expected to to bow down to it needs
Supposedly there are more than 50 pronouns to learn and potentially infinite. It’s now silly. We are beyond compassion and kindness. It’s a fad and it’s narcissistic. In proper speech you typically shouldn’t use a pronoun in someone’s presence which means that the demand or request to use it is really about how you are talked about when you’re not around. Many ppl have lost grasp of reality.
Ever see National Lampoons Christmas Vacation? Clark’s Boss? Called Clark “Greaseball” & every other name under the sun? Yeah, that’s pretty much the way it is & goes. Why do we believe we’re all so important? “I must be addressed in the manner in which I decree or I will throw a tantrum & contact HR. Oh, & I need a litter box to defecate while you’re at it.”
This is the current state of the world we live in. I will not adjust to that!
To avoid each individuals own mental problems, I call everyone I work with by their last name
Ask the manager if they know, "insert name here" is a they/ them? If they do, just ask them to manage to use it. If the manager is like myself, using a plural in a singular causes brain hiccups; simply use their name. You will know if they are willing to work with the person by the conversation; go from there.
It is not your place to intervene. This is between a new hire and his/her/their manager. Stay out of it.
Just address them by name.
Supporting Team Culture
You can start a practice where team members share their names and pronouns at the beginning of a meeting.
Encourage adding pronouns in email signatures. This way, the topic becomes part of the team’s culture rather than something personal.
Timing and Balance
To the employee: “Your manager is also learning; it just takes some practice, but we’ll work through this together.”
To the manager: “Your good intentions matter a lot. With small practices, you’ll get used to it quickly — what counts is the effort you’re making.”
Their boss should tell them his pronoun is boss. Now get back to work. Fixed it.
Kinda crazy how triggered you are by someone asking a question.
The first step to healing as a society is to ignore braindead zoomers.
I would not intervene. Adults have to learn how to deal with personal differences at work. If you intervene, you're removing the opportunity for both of them to grow. Pronouns is not a federal protection, so I would leave it and let both of the grown ups figure it out....and I would tell them both that very thing.
The attitude is self-righteous, self indulgent, etc. Many pronoun obsessed would be amazed that no one actually gives a "care." Maybe consider leaving everyone else alone and live your own life. If I call you shim, or whatever; who cares. Be secure in your own identity: My opinion or mis-identification is irrelevant
Just shows you what a weak generation this Gen X really is. You got your feelings hurt. If you so butt hurt then quit. Simple answer to this nonsense.
So is it a respect thing that keeps the manager saying a gender or is it blatant disrespect to a younger person that they keep doing it? Because people nowadays dont generally respect other people thats why they can't live with the 1% having problems their own identity of self. When people can't accept other people who aren't like them then they become a bully of some form. This also applies to the 1% as well.
I would tell the new hire “Suck it up buttercup, be glad you have a job”,
WTF Haahaha 😂