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Rising Star
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Bowl Leader
Anyone else get shafted on promotions?
My dad's a senior software architect getting 35 lpa for 18 years work experience in cognizant. His tech stack is AEM and he has worked on angular and Java Projects as well. Since he is getting underpaid a lot ... Hopefully someone can refer him Adobe or some product companies. Even service company with good pay also is acceptable
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Pro
Best consulting firms without the massive ego?
Chief
Does 125k in Bonvoy points get you much?
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As the dad two two kids I can guarantee you that you are waaay underestimating how much work it is to raise a kid.
Chief
I've managed a day here and there if it's an unplanned emergency and I'm not running a workshop or something. People on your team understand in that case. But you can't expect people to flex for you like they'd need to if you did that every day.
God no. I’m 5 months postpartum here. It’s definitely not possible without some form of nanny or daycare.
Chief
Every time I read posts like this I remember why im not upset that I’ll never have children
Important to honor everyone’s right to choose to be child free. It’s a real choice.
I’m working long days with a difficult client whilst my wife cares for our 6 week old.
She has the harder job.
This. ☝🏽thank you for saying this.
My baby is 5 months and it’s tough but if you tag team it’s doable, you’ll be catching up on work at night time a lot
Chief
Don’t do that to yourself. Babies are a full time job - something (your work, your relationship, your baby) is gonna suffer.
Rising Star
Possible for initial few months until baby starts to crawl..we started daycare in M10..wife maternity till M3, my paternity M4-M7, couple of months of grad parent support. Very difficult to manage a toddler at home because they need constant attention and mental stimulation
Maybe if you have an easy baby. Mine were super difficult and still are but thrive at school/daycare
Even a 5 month old needs pretty constant attention. If you have a good napper and both parents have flexibility to help throughout the day, maybe for a bit. We just had my 7 month old home for 2 weeks because of COVId and it was the biggest relief to get work done when I was able to take her back to daycare.
Rising Star
So true. Various factors at play to allow that WFH setting possible
Impossible
Rising Star
D7 - It is a very common scenario back home where kids don’t go daycare. The big difference there is grandparents live with you and pitch in with the kids. And hiring domestic help isn’t expensive. Situation isn’t practical for US. Daycare is the best economical option
Chief
I don’t know your financial situation, but if you can afford it, daycare is 💯 the way to go
I don’t have time to look up all the data for you, but coming from a peer reviewed life science journal, here are the benefits of daycare:
- your child’s brain development due to bombardment of idea exchange with other developing brains
- child’s socialization & social development which puts them ahead of their non-daycare peers
- the amount of future income your child will earn (lots of studies. Search “preschool roi”)
- the long term health benefits of a much better immune system. Daycare kids have lower rates of cancer in their old age.
And of course:
- your mental health
Stagger your parental leave and then enroll in daycare, don’t try working from home with a baby, you aren’t able to fire on all cylinders and it is painful for you and your teams. (Speaking as a dad to an 18 month old)
Definitely possible with continuous transparent communication between you and your spouse. My wife and I both working at Big 4 back in 2016, we did it for a year and I still passed my CPA. Now, our son is turning 6 soon, me being an engineer and my wife being a PM at Netflix, we have a girl baby on her way. We're ready for our round 2 XD.
It won't be possible to keep wife-husband relationship, parent duty, and work at the same level of effort and quality. My wife and I thought we could and we did. But looking back, we definitely put more efforts into a different bucket than other buckets from time to time depending on our needs and timing :)
We started to send our son to Montessori when he was around 1.5 year old. I think this was when I was actually more stressed out with the daycare expense and drop-off and pick-up time of him.
Don't listen to people that you can't. We, parents get some sort of super power when things get challenging!
I’m intrigued- I want details of how you made it work day in and day out
There is no way, NO WAY, that you can have a consulting career and still play the part of a parent, even with day nanny/night nanny/daycare. How will you tackle out of town travel? How will you tackle daily drop offs and pickups from daycare? How will you tackle sleepless nights every other week because kids are CONSTANTLY sick and make YOU sick too? The ONLY way to make it work is if one spouse kills their entire career ambition and becomes a stay at home parent OR you outsource 100% of kid raising to grandparents. There is no other way to make this work. A married couple cannot both have great careers with a kid(s), period, end of story.
While it’s not everyone’s ideal, people hire nannies, have kids at school etc. Even the senior-most CEO isn’t working 90 hrs a week, every week.
This perspective is deaf to the real struggle that dual-income non-exec parents face: working hard, probably not WFH, funding childcare and still affording to put food on the table.
That’s the hard role.
I thought I could do that coming off maternity leave and it did not work out at all. We ended up hiring a nanny because a decent daycare here has an infant wait list of 2 years.
If you go on with that plan, at least try to find a MDO program through a local church to give yourself somewhat of a break.
Genuinely asking here…is OP a man?
Nopes not possible
Chief
You need day care or a nanny, unless you have family close by and they consent to watch the kid all the time. And it’s still tough, even with the kid in day care (unless it’s very close to your home) since the transit to and from is an extra logistical burden.
Trying to manage two careers with a young kid at home is impossible. Take all the parental leave you’re allowed, stretch it to about six months, and then get the kid into day care.
We did it for 6 months and then hired a nanny. We felt like that was the perfect balance. When you aren’t in meetings, you can still see the baby during the day here and there.