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Leaving after one year to another biglaw firm?
How’s everyone holding up?
What’s poppin ?
I hope some genuine people are their in Fishbowl
Just now finished my MBA, So I'm looking for a role in Finance domain and I would appreciate your support.
My focused area is Investment banking, Financial markets, Financial analysis and reporting
I know you people will help me and I'm very grateful for you guys.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/manju-ram
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Well hello guys!
Additional Posts in Mental Health in Accounting
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PS, I love how supportive this group can be. It’s heartwarming given this world of polarity and snark in which we live.
Sending some ❤️ your way. I think there is neither a single nor a simple answer and it depends on the person you cried in front of and the circumstances. I would *hope* the person could empathize. Our industry is tough and overly demanding so don’t blame yourself for that. Assuming you are also a female, we often have a tendency not to set strong enough boundaries for ourselves. Hope you can find someone who understands and get to a better place.
The designated cry spot is the downstairs loo in my office 🤗. It’s not weak to cry in work but unfortunately some see it as weak. I find work does feel overwhelming sometimes, and what works for me is sitting in the bathroom and having a couple of minutes to myself, maybe try a mindfulness app? A few minutes of quiet and positive thinking, for example imagining a nice hoilday or place you would like to visit etc can do the world of good! Sending ❤️
Sending hugs your way too. Crying is totally okay. I’ve cried at work a few times to relieve myself of the pain that I’m feeling in the moment. I do myself a disservice to hold it in....ignoring it makes it worse.
To be fair, I don’t make it a practice to do it in front of people if I can avoid it. I go to the bathroom or conference room, cry it out, wipe my tears, do some deep breathing and counts, and come back to my desk.
If you have a few colleagues that you consider close, they will understand your need to release and support you.
Hope you’re doing okay!!! As sympathetic others can be, i would recmmmend not to cry at work! If you need to, best to do so alone or in your car or somewhere secluded. At work, it’s always best to portray the image that you are secure, and a stable person. Although others can ask if you’re going okay, if you’re feeling alright, the moment someone sees you physically cry at work, that is the only image they will remember of you, whether that’s a fellow associate of yours or a superior. Best to always have the best image and best foot forward with work relationships. On the side note, i hope you’re doing okay!!! Is there anything you’d like to vent and get off your chest?
OP I’m sorry you’re struggling with this right now. Crying does not make you weak at all, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who think it does. Whenever I start feeling tears well up, I will walk out to my car. I’ve found after the 5 minute walk to the car, I often feel better and don’t need to cry, but when I still need to I’m alone to collect myself.
OP - your post stung. I could have wrote this about every single day at the client this week (and just bringing up the emotions now has tears streaming down my face). I’m broken and depression isn’t a new friend.
As a person who has now cried in front of a team more times than I can count on all extremities I want to give my honest evaluation. If you work with a bunch of “dudes”, like I do, or a large group, I very sadly guarantee someone will see you as weak. Someone will discount you, sell you short, and most unfortunately they might discount your worth for a long, long time. Even if that isn’t the case, if you also have any anxiety on top of your depression, you will likely end up feeling all of the above even when they swear “nothing changed”. This job can be brutal and when your own head isn’t even on your side it’s some adjective worse than that.
One thing I can promise. Just forcing yourself through, forcing yourself to show up, forcing yourself to smile and joke; it isn’t going to work. Depression is a tricky bitch. You will feel better, the job stress will go down and everyone will stop being and asshole, it’s summer so you will find a bit of relief; but you never know when you wake up again with that nag in the back of your head. The one that just won’t turn off, the one that can make any blue sky seem gray. The stress of the job is an enabler for a continuous cycle. (I’m saying this because it all started with one day as a staff when I got yelled at and I cracked, cry time 1, if you will. And now, 4 years later, I see the cycle. It’s happening more frequently. I refuse to fail myself so I refuse to admit this to anyone except for right now; as such, I’ve haven’t asked to help with this for years. Long, long before PA.)
Short term bottling it up in front of the team is one thing. All the above have some pretty good ideas for helping with the “right now”; I’m going to look into a mindfulness app I can use to calm myself in the bathroom for when I feel particularly weak (perks of working with all dudes is they don’t come in the women’s 😉
But… This is my plea to you, and probably more importantly to myself: find someone to talk to. Get the shit out. Yell if you need to, sit in silence and sob; whatever is going to help you find some balance again. I guarantee your firm has some resources, both internal and external, so the flexibility will be there too. It’s okay to be weak sometimes. It’s okay to cry, to be sad, to even not feel anything. But we have to find a way to cope and we have to find a way to try to make things better because this is no way to live a life.
Sending positive everything your way!
Don’t cry in front of anyone, cry in your car or somewhere private. Get it all out and don’t bottle the emotion in but public accounting can be ruthless and you should guard yourself as best as you can
Sadly I do think it makes you look weak...I’ve gone to the car to do it and collect myself after.
I’m amazed at the incredible support from this group. Thank you ❤️
Last year I would cry every other day on my way into the office. Anxiety and depression . Seeing a therapist, medication, flex plan and transfer made a huge difference. No more working in a environment where partners cannot get along and realizing what is important in life has turned things around. It is anazing how supportive this group in FB has been. Reading the posts and stories of people who are brave to share your struggles and people who offer tips and support are anazing.
Update: starting antidepressants next week. Hopefully it will help!
Start with your primary care and ask for a referral, but don’t be afraid to try someone else if you don’t “click”. The first doctor I saw scared me so badly I throughly she was going to call someone to take my baby away, so I didn’t try again until my husband (who was also my best friend, R.I.P.) encouraged me to try another doctor. The second one was wonderful. She retired last year so now I see someone else, but really just for refills since my prior doctor worked with me for several years to get the right combination of drugs (and weekly therapy) to be able to function almost normally. If you don’t have a primary care doctor you are comfortable, see if your firm has resources to help you find someone. Don’t give in to either the idea that you can handle it yourself (like I did for over a year) or that it’s too hard to get the right help. You are doing this for you. But also keep in mind drugs can only do so much. They aren’t a magic cure, they just help take the edge off. Good luck!!👍
You are good person, crying is healthy and managing it and the cause is what you might be seeking. See dr, try low dose of meds, take breaks during day , walk outside during lunch - find a place that shows you how much bigger your life is than just your job. I shut my office door and cried when I can back to Ey and thought - what have I done. I ranted to God and then I accepted that I needed to work and this was the place I was for now and I could find a different place if needed. That was 11 years ago and I am much happier - it was a journey - I did try Zoloft for few months, was not long term answer. I know that rest and good friends and prayer are my biggest helpers
Ey 3 great advice. We are human beings and if you or myself break down once in a while and a partner or people around us don't understand then I realized it would be time to leave your firm or in my case BDO. Anxiety, depression are tough battles to fight and you need a tight trusted circle at work to understand and help.
Supposedly it’s ‘easy’ to find doctors for antidepressants. I ask...how?