Does anyone have advice on going through a breakup and focusing at work. I am struggling

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I try to give myself time to feel my feelings, like really feel them. Bottling your feelings up is almost never helpful. The important part is to set a time boundary — maybe you give yourself the weekend, or a week, or whatever you decide. I’ve seen friends dwell on breakups for six months or a year. Each time, they look back and can’t believe they spent so much of their time and energy worrying about someone who was probably already moving on. You’ve got a lot more life to live, so feel your feelings and take your time, but know that things get better.

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If at all possible, take some time off! This is a grieving process.

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Talking to a therapist is REALLY helpful

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I broke up with my fiancé last year. It sucked real bad, but I had really good relationships with the SR. Manager / PPMDs and was up front about.

Try to exercise, get good sleep and eat healthy.

Most importantly keep your head up!

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Mine wasn’t a break up but we were on the brink of it after almost 9 years. This happened back in March (and the previous March around the same exact time I was having family issues; life really doesn’t care about busy season lol).

I agree 100% with GT 1; you need to take some time for yourself to process your feelings. I hope you work in an environment where your leaders would be supportive of you and understand that you’re not able to be your best self at work for now which doesn’t bode well for anyone.

Try to give yourself a week if you can. Hopefully that’s enough time to realize that life will be just fine, and you will be just fine as you continue to move on.

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I’ve always tried to stay busy until the sadness passes so I’m less tempted to call/text/think on it too much. I typically hit gym classes, art/pottery classes, community events. That with work made me too tired to dwell on the past and has always been a good way to meet new people/ have new experiences.

Hugs!

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Thanks everyone!

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The truthful answer is the audit answer- it depends. But seriously, I think it varies based on you and what you need. A vacation, more work to take your mind off of it, physical exercise… Whatever helps you.

When it was me, when I first got the “we should talk” I went to the gym almost immediately and worked out until like 3am because I couldn’t sleep but was full of angry energy I needed to burn. After we talked, we broke up, I didn’t have any drive the following day. So I called in and told my manager I wasn’t coming in until Monday (it was Friday) because this was effecting me more than I thought it would and I needed to work things out over the weekend before I returned. That weekend I mostly cried all weekend. Spent some time with close friends.

Like any mental/emotional concern, I also recommend talking to people. Therapy, mentors, close friends.. that’s what I did in the coming weeks. I had already started therapy for other concerns with work and family. So I pushed into that.

For me, and this might be the least applicable to your situation/others: therapy and mentor ship led me to the conclusion that I needed change. I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t handle everything going on in my life at the time. Three main things were tearing me apart from the inside: family issues, the breakup, and work. I couldn’t fix two of those things, so I started updating my resume, talking to a recruiter, and found a new job. That’s what worked for me. But had it not been two other things out of my control I don’t think I would have left my job. You have to take control over what you have control over and do what’s right for you.

Sorry that was long, hope this is helpful to anyone who took the time to read it!

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