Gonna bite and post in here even though it’s scary! I’m just having a tough time getting over my 3 year relationship. I’ve been spending weeks trying to pin point where things went wrong. He was very cold to me in the end and completely cut me off so suddenly. I was going through some personal issues this summer related to family & work that made me quite stressed & anxious. I tried my best to not let it show but you can’t help what you feel when you’re struggling. When he broke up (cont…)

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If it’s not making sense, maybe try to box it up and put it on a brain shelf for a while. Some things only make sense with time. Hope you feel better soon!

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There is no point on trying to figure what went wrong or why. You can see this point it’s not bringing you any peace, is it? I know this is hard but the best thing to do is focus on yourself and your future. It’s about tricking your mind into focusing on other things.

I can relate as I’m coming out of a 6 year relationship and I too did have some personal issues that I tried not to let it effect my relationship. Which tbh I did a great job at. Of course the day of I would wallow or just cry and my ex would get upset bc he wanted to go out and have fun. Everyone deals with stress and emotions differently. Some like to stay busy and some like to process it. What I realized is how selfish my ex was for not even allowing me to have one day to myself so I can process my emotions. Instead he made it about himself so then instead of focusing on what I was going through I would focus on him and not getting him up or “ruining” his day.

Everyone is going through something and will go through something at one point in their life. What you and I need is a partner who is there for the good and there for the bad. No half ass relationships.

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Also, first time I recognized him as my ex instead of my husband. It’s the little wins and steps that will help overcome. Feel free to DM me if you need to talk ❤️

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..with me he told me I am too stressed and anxious and that I “care too much.” I don’t see myself this way (to some extent of course), I was just going through a tough time but I made it clear that I knew it would pass; I even went to therapy and was doing all I could to feel better. I can’t help but wonder if I hadn’t been so out of sorts this summer that he wouldn’t have left me. But rational me knows I deserve someone who will support and love me through the tough times. How do I stop blaming myself and start accepting that the right person would love me for me?

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Therapy was what helped me realize what I deserved. I started doing things that made me feel good and made me feel like I deserved better: working out, seeing a dermatologist, going to therapy, seeing friends often, etc.

Do things that make you feel good and make you feel confident. Then you will wake up one day and wonder why you accepted such trash in the first place.

You deserve someone who doesn’t judge you for caring and will support you regardless! That’s what a true partner is. I’m sorry he wasted three years of your life but try to think of what you gained and/or learned during that time so you walk away with something positive!

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Can anyone share what happens in therapy and what type of therapist I need to find for this type of issue sigh

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Everyone’s experience can vary a little but my set up is that we go over wins and opportunities from the previous week then dive into where I am struggling, reflect on what I can do better (take actions), and set goals for the next week.
I see a psychiatrist for my anxiety and bpd so when I went through my breakup, I was already seeing someone.

Therapists are not a one-size-fits-all either. I had to try a few before I found one I worked well with!

Recently getting over a 10 year relationship. Don’t think I’ll ever be “over it” but the fact they chose to leave me makes it I suppose easier …though I was with someone who wouldn’t leave without at least trying , going to therapy or talking about it. It’s hard but you will be ok

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I wish I never left, not once.
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I will always be there for you when you need me.

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Share your experience(s) in the comments - good or bad.

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