How do you deal with a nosy coworker ? There’s a Product Owner on my team that is always asking details about what I’m doing, who I’m speaking to and why. Today I organized a meeting with a fellow PMM and she invited him for a detail and he insisted in staying for the whole meeting. Don’t wanna be rude but I’m tired of this.

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Get Head of them. Invite them to opportunities to see you work and you control the narrative, show them what you want them to see. Even invite them to chat,invite yourself to their workspace, their meetings, ask questions, make jokes.... or barney rubble them.

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Is she just being curious or do you think she has an ulterior motive? It could be that she's just trying to learn and sees you as a resource that can help her.

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Just to toss this out there... but perhaps you are not providing sufficient visibility into the project and she wants to make sure she is being included in the decisions. Perhaps she felt she needed to stay for the whole meeting between you and the other PMM in order to make sure she was getting the information she needed to do her job. (And frankly, choosing to stay in the meeting is hardly "rude").

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Agreed! So someone may be erring on the side of too many meetings in an effort to learn about the product? I don’t consider that rude at all! I give people credit for seeking out knowledge. What is there to hide?

But the fellow PMM is the one who invited him? Sounds like you need to set some boundaries with her too

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Never look at them as the enemy. We all want to move forward. Instead openly ask what they desire to accomplish. THEN Truly try to help them. In turn they will help you. Once you offer to help them to accomplish what it is they want. Be bold enough to tell them what your need.

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This is a great opportunity for you to set healthy boundaries with yourself and other people. If they are joining meetings extensively or excessively you can say polite things like “I would love to hear your perspective on this but I would like to meet with person A, B and C alone” or “I would like to try to run this meeting alone for the moment I can brief on the details after”. Be inclusive of them/their input but set boundaries on your terms.

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I do not quite undrstand the dynamic between the roles, but interrogations on your daily work seem very inappropriate unless you report to this person. Do not answer such interrogations, if that is what they are. Just reassure them they will be involved if you need them.

A common tactic: repeat their question back to them, and stay silent. "Who was I talking to...."? The intent is to invite the conversation as to why they are interested. Maybe they have a particular concern.

With regrd to the meeting...if you feel they are wasting time or disruptive, make sure you meet with this person in a separate meeting.

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Intruding in meetings is crossing a line. Showing up and listening is not

Golly, I would just be upfront with Karen. There;s no need to beat around the bush!

Have you confronted him or her?

I’m assuming you’re all working in agile? If they’re the PO, it sounds like they’re just doing what’s expected of their role. The PO and Scrum Master should definitely be two people you communicate with extensively during sprints. Scrum Masters tend to need to know about your process and any roadblocks you’re facing so they can resolve. Whereas the PO wants to create consistent feedback/communication loops so that they have a better understanding around how the feature or product is being built and opportunities to iterate/pivot from a strategic standpoint. They’re also trying to gauge the velocity of the entire team. So I don’t know what your role is on the team, but I’m assuming they’re coming from more of a place of curiosity rather than micromanaging. If you’re worried that it’s becoming distracting. Perhaps suggest 2-3 weekly check-ins as a way for you to be more productive during the retrospective. It may be bad up being more efficient and useful for the PO as well. The retrospective is the perfect place to share what works well or doesn’t work well in terms of collaboration.

Sorry, I’m realizing now that you’re the PMM. They’re likely just over-communicating which is better than under-communicating as a PO. They have to take into consideration a lot of stakeholder input to help their team so you might not be the only one experiencing this from them. It’s possible they’re going through a strategic phase or an execution (process adjustment) phase in their work and need more of your input. Perhaps it’ll die out once they’ve gauged how to balance the communication. I’d be curious as to how long have they been the PO or has there been any recent adjustments to the product roadmap?

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