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It’s part of their mental development. They’re learning that they can know things that others don’t know, and it’s like a superpower.
They generally grow out of it - key is to not massively overreact. Praise things you want to see more of, try to brush off / minimize things you want to see less of.
This is an interesting one. I have twin daughters, 4 years old. I wouldn’t say I make a huge deal of it, but I do stop to explain why lying is wrong. I’ve found that it has been helpful.
Can you give an example?
My 4 year old jokes around a lot, but it’s obvious to him and others that it’s jokes. (He also rejects reality when he’s throwing a fit - eg “that medicine will NOT make me feel better” - but don’t think that’s what you mean)
Example: I have twin daughters. When they were in their room (and supposed to be in bed), one girl did something both of them know they aren’t supposed to do. I saw who did it on the baby cam. More specifically, it’s jumping on the bed, which is a problem because their younger sister sleeps in a room directly below them and it wakes her up. I don’t make a big deal about them jumping on the bed. Just go into the room and tell them to stop. The problem was the culprit blamed her sister. That’s when I sat her down and explained why lying is wrong.
Have them watch Scared Straight
They're experimenting
My 7yo does the same. We always overlook it but addressed it when he lied to his teacher about doing his homework and got caught lying. The teacher called us up to let us know and that’s when we sat him down for a chat and there were consequences.
The question I have is what they are lying about. For example, my 5yo lies about imaginary situations at school, like he was running so fast and ran in to a fence and hurt himself, but he is ‘okay now, because he rubbed some dirt on it’ *I taught him that on a camping trip. That is a harmless lie and just him making conversation with me [I tend to play along with these and divert from the made up stories], but if he is lying about whether or not he brushed his teeth as I asked him to, is a problem and we deal with those right away so that he understands it’s bad and it has repercussions.
It’s very normal. Kids pick up on way more than we give them credit for and they’re born with degrees in psychology. They react to how you react and see your queues. Both of my kids (6 and 5) know what to say and what not to say. They also know when to not say it, though sometimes choose the opposite.
You just have to be open with them on why you need honesty as a form of trust. I always ask my kids when telling them something they may find scary, “have I ever lied to you?” And they know I wouldn’t (when it matters).
That’s to say my kids also know my sarcasm even at their age. You never want them to not feel awesome, so use that as a tactic to explaining why they shouldn’t let to you.
Great question, can wait to hear the answers. I have a 2.5 yr old, so not an immediate concern but I’d like to be prepared
I’d like to see what advice is given. My 5yo does some of the same but usually only that my wife has agreed to something or that I said it’s okay and nothing that seems major. Since my wife and I are both primarily WFH it’s easy to check in with the other and compare what we’re being told when we pick up on it.
It’s normal. It’s part of the brain healthy development. Read The whole brain child.