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We didn’t listen!!!
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Think hard about whether it affects the quality or timeliness of your work. If not, then it shouldn't be a major issue.
However, "you need to understand that I do have obligations" is not an attitude I would carry into my work.
I have worked for two companies and not have been understanding about dr appointments or children needs I work my hours always get my work done and never missed an appointment. I don’t have kids yet but when I do if my company doesn’t allow for that I would find a different company it’s not a weakness to be a working parent it’s a strength. During interviews you are not required to to disclose anything about your outside of work activities and they aren’t allowed to ask but i think nowadays a flexible work schedule should be the norm whether you have kids or not so ask for one.
You are going to need to hire some help. “Having kids” is not a free pass to get out of work
BCG1 who do you hire to go attend a school event for parents? 🤔
I think more employers are begining to understand we are adults and will get work done and flexibility in your schedule isn't harmful. Research the company culture to get a rough idea and probe the manager about it.
My boss doesn't care where I'm working as long as things are getting handled. If I don't show up for a few days he may check in because he hasn't seen me and wants to review a job with me. That's the only reason I might get asked why I'm not around. I'm a field PM though so there are occasionally days where I'm at a job site for most of the week. But I work from home when I need to deal with the kids schedules and that flexibility is really valued. I could get more money, but I love having the freedom and balance offered by a manager that is the antithesis of a micro manager.
You can quickly tell if someone is a micromanager during an interview.
Good advice lol
Rising Star
Just come out and say it early on. Just as they interview, you should be interviewing them. If they react negatively or in awe when you ask for what matters to you, it may not be the right fit.
Take BCG1, for example. There's still a lot of organizations and hiring managers with that mentality. I'm sure they'll find someone. Just like you can find a better fit where employees are not expected to live around work.
All depends on the company but ask during the interview. I have never had a job since having kids where my manager wasn’t understanding and I always get my job done so built the trust up front as well. Hindsight - all my managers have been parents which I think has been helpful but even more so a company that supports the reality of parenting
I would just ask generically how flexible start and end times are without giving a reason.
Good approach!
We're super flexible. If you get you're work done, and you need to leave at 4 to pick up your child, go do it, then log back in to make sure you don't need to do anything else. School event? Block your calendar so you're free.
I'd tell your boss during the hiring process that you need to pick up your kid at a certain time but that of course you'd be able to get all of your work done. The one off events, take as they come.
Alot of managers don’t really care of your obligations but getting their work done. You will find very few that understand. If you child school is closed to work use your lunch break to pick them up.Otherwise you will have to find a caring boss that has kids.
Careful in how you ask. Ask what expectations they have for the role. What does success look like for this role, what are accomplishments that they would want to see in first 6 months and year?
Oh I really like that!!! Thank you!!
To me this depends on the role, expectations, and frequency. I can’t pick up my kids from school every day because my role expects me to be available for meetings. However, if something comes up and I need to pick them up (i.e. due to illness) or I need to attend an event, I am able to make that happen pretty easily. I personally don’t feel like I can be a good employee and a good parent at the same time so I try to avoid ever taking care of my kids at the same time I’m working. However, I do expect my employer to understand I’m a parent and give me flexibility when I need it. As a manager, I generally expect the same of my direct reports.
Chief
So you’re looking for a full remote role?
Redo your resume so it doesn’t sound so senior and over qualified.
You should consider a part time job- you would the perfect candidate
… until they have kids 😂
Just ask what is the flexibility around doctors appointments, popping out to get your kids, etc. usually discussed at the offer stage - or when you are evaluating the culture fit of the company.
I had a candidate ask about it at the offer stage- when she was considering how many pto days to negotiate. We offer some degree of flexibility time but client work takes precedent.
(Because I have chosen to be solid on my values around family)
I tend to be straight forward about my needs as soon as possible.
If I am hired on a team my manager and I have discussed values and priorities.
This typically allows my manager to communicate clearly about organizational boundaries and opportunities for flexibility.
There are some really surprising comments here . I think it is important to remember that the job has to fit you as much as you fit the job. Interviews go both ways! But I do agree that a solid approach would be to ask in the context of what they expect like how they approach in-office hours and taking PTO. I have three children and work full-time. It can be hectic, but thankfully my management is very understanding. Don’t let people discourage you, the right job is out there!