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Hello Everyone,
I am a fresher with over 9+ months of experience as a Data Engineer at Tata Consultancy .
I just needed some suggestions from you experienced folks.🙏
In my current project my colleagues have over 6+ years of experience and are not very supportive and scold me for unnecessary reasons, which is effecting my mental health.😔
Also I am not getting to learn anything.
Continued 👇
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Rising Star
Short term, you need to totally unplug for preferably 9 full days ASAP. If you can get short term disability, that works too. The goal is to put down the weight of practice for a minute.
Intermediate term is get a therapist and start working to identify the root issue - bad partners, too much responsibility, burn out, actually hate law, whatever it is. Don’t wait to start, but also don’t expect this to be done in less that a few months bare minimum.
Long term is to fix the root issue. Switch firms, switch practice area, switch career, whatever you need to do.
And repeat Step 1 regularly. Breaks are so vital to recharge!
Mental Health Matters. Your Mental Health Health Matters!!! Yes, it is important to take a step back and reassess your situation and understand what lead up to this moment. At this point, taking some much needed time off is imperative.The time off should be used to relax, unwind, reset, and figure out next steps. To begin with SELF CARE is EXTREMELY HELPFUL!!!! Speaking with a Therapist is also a good idea. Your next step is crucial as you will need time to create balance in your private and professional life. Lastly, I Pray the Peace of God Rest, Rule, and Abide in Your Heart and Mind🕊️🕊️🕊️
I hear you! You’re dealing with bad partners and I’m dealing with interesting clients. What I’m going to say is not a popular answer, but it has helped me out tremendously. I’m talking about prayer. I’ve said it before…No one on this planet can give you peace of mind. Why? We’re all flawed down here. We all have some element of selfishness that we’re dealing with. But praying to the Lord for peace each day (yes, every day) can bless you beyond words. I don’t know your faith, but prayer works for me.
Agree with the other posters (dirt, exercise, routine etc.) but for me, I largely stopped trying to impress or live up to my coworkers.
My office is full of workaholics who look down on those who actually have a life outside of work and want to spent time with their family and be present parents. I stopped caring what they thought a few years ago and it has been a life changer. I may not get the huge bonus, but who cares.
You should get evaluated for depression or anxiety. A lot of people are feeling exactly like you and talking to a therapist or going on meds might be what you need. Good luck!
I’m in a very similar boat as you. Every time things get particularly overwhelming, I think about the fact that I’ve already done this for 7-8 years and what is one more? Get that title and then re assess.
Legal Assistants get burned out too especially when co-workers are still working remote since the pandemic & they want to pass the buck. And, heavens forbid if you complain, you are then labeled a snitch. Down with TOXIC WORK ENVIRONMENTS!
All of it - therapist, career coach, new job - can be helpful. What is clear is the current situation can't continue. It's not going to change or get better, so it's time to figure out what your next thing is.
We all are feeling that right now…
I am in a similar boat. I feel drained even when I am socializing with fellow school parents so much that I find myself just standing there like a stick. I think over the past two years or so, I worked every weekend except like 6 weekends. With kids, it is hard not work during the weekend I am trying to figure out how to take time off from work.
Go on weekend trips, take your laptop. Work early in AM. Spend time w/the family then finish up at night. Go somewhere that allows your family do without you for a couple hours. Not perfect but better to get that change of scenery and food that's not Uber Eats for a switch-up. Hang in there for partnership. Huge change comes around at about 3 year partner if you get the right associates working with you. Foster the relationships with young associates now -- it'll save you later on (and now to help cover things).
Rising Star
I second the suggestion to take short term disability leave. Don’t wait. You can search #fmlamentalhealth in the Big Law bowl for posts on the process.
With the benefit of distance from this workplace, you may see things differently. Oftentimes, there is a myopia that comes from being in the foxhole. Taking leave allows you to step back and coolly evaluate whether it’s the workplace or the profession that’s the problem.
There are many ways to be a lawyer, and this workplace does not define the practice of law.
You’re not alone feeling like this. I found a good therapist that has really helped put things into perspective.
What’s the perspective? Was it like the guy in Office Space?
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. In addition to what SA2 said, if your firm has and allows for you to take short term disability to take care of your mental health, I would strongly recommend it. Perhaps also consider speaking with a psychiatrist in addition to a therapist. Your health is of utmost importance, so please do what you need to take care of yourself.
Improving physical health can help, like diet and exercise. If you have time to see a therapist, you have time to work out. And there are healthy meal delivery programs you can join so you aren't spending time prepping food.
It's say all of the above. To triage, you need a break stat. If after taking a full break (no work whatsoever), you still dread the idea of going back to this particular job, it's probably time to talk to both a career coach and a therapist. I say both because therapists help get to the root through a look-back method and dealing with things in the past. Career coaches help you move forward so you don't get stuck staying in the past.
Legal works at an untenable speed with such a sense of urgency that is not ok when it comes to mental health. As a lawyer you are vital to the system….don’t give up!! Just perhaps look for signs that you are need on another path. Perhaps that means you change disciplines and help with immigration law or look into becoming a prosecutor or judge. You have tons of valve!!!!
One ultimately comes to realise that in life others such as in the partnership can put unreasonable pressures on a person. The show is called 'this is YOUR LIFE' for good reason. You MUST START IMMEDIATELY setting boundaries on both the volume of work and partners expectations as well as having a healthy self interest in not letting clients putting unrealistic expectations on you. This usually means ensuring you, in a very loving way, set out
In person and by email what you will be doing with tentative dates to meet any milestones noting that you may have to get back to them to change that as matters change with the work and for you. When a client complains you must refer out to a partner and let him/ her handle that. If a partner promises something to the client you must right from the get- go see whether that is realistic in terms of your work load and then get that partner to tell which other work you are handling is to be put in the slow lane. You must be strong and firm here! DON'T THINK ABOUT BECOMING A PARTNER. as a matter that concerns you at present. Think about life and whether you really want to suffer physically and mentally and in your personal relationships moving forward. Start immediately and go through your files and determine what could possibly be done and by what dates and further, no more work coming in until you are completely on top of all matters. Your catch- phrase is:- "Sorry, I have no time available for the next few weeks etc to take on more work" and stick to that. If you get the impression from a partner that such an approach may affect your becoming a partner, you are getting a foretaste on how your life is going to become with this firm. Be strong, be firm, remember, this is your life!
It scares me that partners in law firms don't understand how the ADA works. If an associate had a heart attack, would you call them soft for taking disability then? Here's a thought: give them time to get better, and they will come back with the ability to manage their condition and will probably be a better, more effective, more efficient lawyer. Win-win, focus on the long game.
To be clear, I started at big firms and left of my own accord. It's much nicer not being screamed at on a daily basis. That's not management, it's abuse.
I reached out to a career coach before to help me plan to better juggle life. I think it would be a good idea.
Sorry you’re feeling like this. Try to hang in and make partner this year, then evaluate options. You’ll likely land a better in-house gig
Can you go in house? Is that something you’d consider? I’m truly sorry to hear that. I just had my son 14 months ago , back at work 6 weeks now and work is very draining even as a measly Paralegal fighting to obtain a Training Contract. I am so tired. I hope you get the help you need from one mama bear to another. You are doing a fantastic job girl! ( Assuming you are a woman, if not go papabear!)
Maybe instead of working at a law firm, consider being a law school professor?
I've used a career coach before withe varying and mixed results. A good coach helps you set clear goals, gives actionable advice, and tracks your progress, but a bad one just makes you waste time any money or worse puts in the wrong direction.
There are also some good AI tools available, one I've used is: https://www.kroo.ai/ . Not perfect, but provides personalized career coaching and insights without the high cost of a human coach. Worth checking out!