I think I have a problem. I can’t ever just do one drink. Have to have 3 or more. And have inconsistent drinking frequencies, but the last 8 days I’ve drank every night. Social situation or not. My sleep is crap. I wake up feeling untested. But do it all over again every day

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The 12 steps - as the other poster said, think about Step 1 and how it might relate to you. I've been sober a little over 2 years, starting at age 56. I was a constant drinker since age 13, but told myself I did not have a problem because: I had/have great jobs/a career, made good money, never had a DUI, etc., etc. My second wife (now ex) started to go to Al Anon mtgs later in our marriage. I realized my drinking was no longer normal or healthy - what I thought was a tool I used to "self medicate and self regulate" was actually a substance I had no control over. I had gone from a six pack a night, to eight, to twelve or more. I was no longer in control. I went to my first AA mtg with an open mind - while on paper I had very little in common with the speaker, I couldn't not ignore the fact that the way they described their inner life and mindset, as an alcoholic, was very, very similar to my own. Up until that point I thought I was special, or unique, or "different" in terms of my drinking, but not an alcoholic. I realized I was, and I needed to take control of my life back. Try a few open lead/speaker meetings. All you need to do is listen - you don't have to introduce yourself, but if you do, you will find many ppl in the rooms willing to help and encourage.

https://www.aa.org/the-twelve-steps

likehelpful

Not being able to have just one is something really common for alcoholics. You can read step 1 and it speaks to some of that. You don't have to drink every day to be an alcoholic and you don't have to wait until something bad happens to do something about it. There's more to AA than not drinking too, that's just a nice side effect.

helpfullike

I don’t do AA… but when I was in your spot I decided I would give it a try. And I’d suggest that for you as well. Why?

Well couple things. First, I kept making excuses of when and how much to drink. And when I had “dry” periods, I just still constantly thought about when is the next drink. AA let me hear a lot of other stories that made me realize, yes I have a problem and this shit could get super scary if I don’t stop now.

I’m super lucky to have stopped before my life fell apart. Most people in AA hit a pretty low rock bottom. Their stories saved me.

If you do give it a go, the key is to not “opt out” and say “well that’s not me”. You have to listen hard and see if you can find the parts that do sound like you. If things resonate, then maybe you are like me and lucky to address this early.

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DM if you need someone to talk to. Was in this exact situation three years ago. Do you think you’re ready to cut it out entirely? Or are you looking for a way to moderate? I have experience with abstinence (thanks to AA) - I never could find a way to moderate.

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Many an alcoholic has tried to find a way to "drink like normal people" in moderation. If it feels like you can't manage to do that, you are likely an alcoholic.

Sounds like you’re enter the “Zone of Discomfort”, as I have just now dubbed it. I remember that phase…it happens after the “Drinking is Fun” phase, and if untreated, can ultimately lead to the “I Want to Die” phase…

It’s hard to take any committed action when things aren’t “that bad”, but with alcoholism, it always gets worse. The question that only you can answer (by looking at your past, your experiences, your consequences, and your goals), is do you believe you’re headed towards destruction? And is your life currently (or rapidly becoming) unmanageable? If so, do you think you can stop drinking on your own? If not, it could be time to talk to a therapist, or to give AA a try.

I was a consultant with Kearney for 5 years and got sober during that time period. Coming up on 7 years sober, which has only possible through AA (which I think is awesome btw; individual AA experiences may vary, but where I live AA is awesome and all my friends are sober and we do awesome things). Life doesn’t have to suck in sobriety.

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