I’m the only Black person on the team, and a co-worker with similar work experience sent me a long email with feedback. I’m annoyed since I feel some of it was unfair and unsolicited. She also cc’d our manager. How should I respond? Any tips?

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Since she cc’d the manager on the initial email, the manager would be cc’d on my response. I would reply by thanking her for her feedback. I would follow that up by noting your preferred communication style (which isn’t how she approached you currently). This will cause her to look bad if she continues to do it, knowing that both she (and your manager) are now aware of your communication preferences. Let her know that sharing feedback and including your manager (without letting you know of her concerns first) 1) has the potential to negatively impact the team dynamics and 2) does not give both of you a chance to resolve things together. I would, in the email with the manager cc’d, ask to schedule a 1:1 to gain clarity and examples as you have questions and concerns with it. After the 1:1, send her an email summarizing what you both discussed and agreed to (in case her memory gets funny… I mean fuzzy).

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This is the best response!

Oh yes, this has definitely been done to me. Talk to her ass privately. It’s a power move. I straight up messaged her and said “please do not micromanage me and escalate every issue in front of our senior, I would appreciate if it was discussed privately then escalated if a solution isn’t found”. Usually they’re so embarrassed you actually confront them, they stop.

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Is she your peer? Was the feedback in regards to work you produced, or something you did/said? First of all, feelings are not facts, especially in corporate and especially when you are black. That being said, I would take a step back to see the truth (if applicable) in what she said, address it in an email response, thank her, and keep it moving. Your manager will look at you as a strong team player for that. That advice all depends on the context and what she said though.

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