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LOL I love this so much. Good for you. Stand your ground and don’t apologize.
Isn’t comment “really something you should know” condescending? In any other work environment that would make you not a team player. Being a team player is the most important part of a career jobs outside of the law in a Fortune 500 company. Only in law would anyone defend this comment. Where individuality is more important.
Good for you. I'd have said something different, but I also love meeting with HR apparently.
LOL, this is me. I see you, SSA1.
Def not out of line. As a profession, we need to start acting more shocked when people are rude / cutthroat / throwing colleagues under the bus rather than acting shocked and outraged when someone defends themselves. 5 years in BL and I still can’t believe how many lawyers don’t defend themselves.
Should you have known? Lol
Um no, they were out of line
Agreed. That’s unprofessional of them. If you really should have known, they could have said that on the side.
Depends….are they your senior?
Lol.. idgaf whether it was my senior; there are ways to get your point across without being a jerk.
I think you should try to be less confrontational in a work setting.
If you’re in litigation, this is less confrontational than your normal work setting imo
In the future can you say something like “great question, I’ll look into it and let you know.” Or something more proactive than “I don’t know” (if that’s what you said)
For what it’s worth I think you saying “don’t talk to me that way” is a great response
Agreed to this on all fronts.
OP, you should have a list of quick generic responses in the event you don’t have answers to a question in a meet (ie, what A5 said, “I’ll need to check my notes on that but will circle back,” “I’m going to explore that as I think there are a lot of valuable insights we could gain by examining this area further,” ”I understand your concern on Y; another bigger issue may stem from X. I’ll provide further input on Y&X in short order” (a bit of a pivot/redirect, with an added question—providing time to delve deeper and circle back)).
You’re better than me.
Sounds like the other associate trying to step on you to get ahead. Both with original comment and with complaint to the partner. Karma is B*. They will get theirs one day.
It’s the comment to the partner for me, which seems like it’s a step too far (and unnecessary assuming said partner was present in the meeting). It’s one thing to be straight shooters with one another, as it can be productive …but running it up the chain in writing seems audacious. If I were the partner, I’d be more disappointed in the lack of a team effort/coverage by the associates and wonder why one was wasting my time to tell on the other for bs.
I recently saw on tiktok that you should make the person repeat the rude statement and respond by saying “what did you say?”
That’s a really great idea, hopefully makes the person rethink it a little.
Just playing devil’s advocate here but was the question you didn’t know the answer to something that was part of your responsibility on this case? Do you often not know the answer to questions?
I’m not saying that the other associate was right. He/she was not. But you weren’t right either. People don’t usually do things like that unprovoked… 👀 (but sometimes they do)
Super curious what the reaction in the room was when you said “don’t talk to me that way.” I think it’s great you said it! If you didn’t, comments like that would probably become more frequent.
Depends. Should you have actually known the answer? It’s easy to shift the conversation from you being unprepared for a meeting to someone being rude to you for being unprepared. Sometimes you just have to take criticism on the chin and be like “I don’t, but I’ll find out right away”, and then talk to the associate after the meeting to let them know they didn’t need to do that in the meeting and could have spoken to you afterwards.
Lol I don’t find that to be out of line. In truth I would have added to that and turned it on them asked “But since you feel that way, you must know the answer then.” It’s rude for them to say that to you.
Not wrong what so ever, that’s nicer than I would have been!!! If they wanna whip it out you have to too (I am a woman) lol. However, I’ve told opposing counsel let’s step off the record during a depo bc he was being outrageous!! Dude was 30 years older than me and we walked outside and I said look if you wanna whip yours out I can whip mine out all day. He got wide eye’d as I’m not even 30 and a female. He acted different real quick. Gotta always stick up for yourself in every situation, or the sharks in every aspect will walk all over you!!!
It truly fed my soul. I was on cloud 9, and thinking “yeah bet you didn’t see that one coming buddy.” I’m also from New Orleans and the boomer attorneys down here can be out right absurd. It’s the Wild Wild West. Just in the dirty south version 🙃
Do you have official HR at your firm? If so request a meeting with the two of you plus them and have a professional conversation about it. If no HR then I would go to that person direct and have a convo, you can consider adding that partner, then make a write up memo after it. As we all know as attorneys, documentation generally wins. I do not think you were out of line but you need to document that persons actions that were out of line.
Just because you have a title doesn’t mean your rudeness should be acceptable or tolerated. Good for you.
How big is the firm? Sounds like they might just be trying to make sure they are ahead of you for any potential promotions/raises in the future.