Related Posts
Conversation Starter
Best divorce lawyer in NYC?
Conversation Starter
More Posts
Conversation Starter
Proud to be at uncle D
How's your weekend going? Any plans??
Providence Health & Services Anyone looking to exit to industry? I’m a former Big 4 revenue cycle consultant now leading the net revenue valuation and analytics at a large West health system with two current openings. One is in the data shop (SQL, cloud migration, Clarity) and the other is on the analyst side (budget/forecast, variance/trend analysis). Offshore team for the grunt work allows us to focus on value-add, including collaboration with our data scientists on integrating machine learning into our processes. Providence Health & Services
What is EBA IN Bosch?
Got offer from Deloitte as a Senior Consultant with 18.7 LPA with 6.5 years of experience is it good or should I ask more or joining bonus, I am also going to get offer from Microsoft as a Consultant. Which one should I choose between Deloitte or Microsoft Hyderabad India? Deloitte Deloitte USI Microsoft Thanks in advance Parth
Deloitte Microsoft
Additional Posts in Tech
Chief
Meta technical solutions consultant interview prep - can someone let me know if they have gone through the technical rounds for Technical Solutions Consultant role? Can you share what to prepare for since it’s not a data science type of role so most likely not hard level MySQL questions. Any specific types of queries that I should learn? Thanks!
Facebook (Meta)
McKinsey & Company Any advice to help prepare for data science analyst role at top consulting firms (McKinsey & Company EY Boston Consulting Group etc)? Any materials, open source platform recommended to take on freelance data science project? When should I start actively looking and applying? I am a new grad who is working in tech as a marketing analyst I’m looking to pivot to marketing& sales data science consulting next year. Would like someone with similar backgrounds offer some practical tips.
New to Fishbowl?
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Lmao E6 is senior manager/partner level, with a higher tech bar, and zero of the title inflation in your consulting gig. Meta is also tough.
I'm all for sharing chores, and you should probably talk to him about it, but his role isn't a cakewalk. Your relationship dynamics aside, he's in a role that far exceeds responsibilities of "consultant" and requires far far far more expertise. If it's straining the relationship maybe there could be a conversation about him taking a step back in the role or moving to a chill team if they exist.
Between a consultant and a senior partner y’all cannot afford a few childcare hours a week so you can at least both be clean and sit down at a table together?
If that is truly not possible, he needs to take some PTO and figure out what the end goal is for this road and how long it will take to get there. Because this sounds like a coronary event waiting to happen.
As others stated the other posts, I sometimes people seem to be finding it harder and harder to do the same work that they presumably have always done. There’s more multitasking in it, lowers your effective IQ and then you were able to do the work as well. I hear more and more people struggling to just keep up with the stuff that they always did. I don’t totally know why, but it could just be that something is changing and not everybody can do the same jobs that they used to do for some reason.
Maybe it’s just burn out or maybe it’s something more. If that’s the dimension of it would explain why he’s working so many more hours, if it’s not just more responsibility from work.
But as most of us in this company probably seen there are a ton of teams, being downsized, and no new people being added, and some similar amount of workload remaining. I agree with others to point out the companies market cap per employee is huge. Do the work you need to do and make sure that your covered for PSC but don’t kill yourself putting in more hours to solve things when the company could just hire more people and not really kill it’s valuation
Chief
Welcome to hard core tech. Work life balance is a distant dream. There are some ways to tackle the chaos. Your husband can take control of his schedule by deciding how best to approach meetings. Everything revolves around engineers at Meta and they can choose not to attend meetings. Managing expectations can go a long way on either the metring or tech front.
As the supporting partner you can do your part. Make meal time a specific time with everyone together. No devices, no screens, TV off, everyone eats together. Keep things light and talk about your day. Talk to your husband and understand the urgency. Maybe there is a big release push for that centers around a certain date. In that case there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If there is nothing specific try to schedule things together that are good for the souldn like going to a park or a simple walk. And you may need to literally schedule something to build up a pattern of activity.
Be specific about things that you need help with. Also accept that with two busy parents the house is going to get dirty and the laundry is going to pile up. Real life isn't the fake world shown on social media where people have everything.
Also look up the signs of burnout and fatigue. You'll recognize them before your partner does. Be a support system to catch them when they fall. Consider if your lifestyle needs to scale back to support a less stressful existance.
I think if they are in a position where he is a senior partner and she a consultant and they can't afford a sitter then scaling back lifestyle is a must.
Because if they don't then he will never be able to scale back work. It's important to plan your economy so that you are both working towards the same goals.
In their case I would make it a goal that if you both can put up with it for X more years than he can change to a more relaxing or maybe even part-time job.
Noone will remember that you worked hard, they will only remember you were never home.
I love him, and I don’t want him to be exhausted, but his work schedule makes me exhausted. I don’t have time to shower for 3 days in this weather. I haven’t had dinner for a week, because I have to watch kids when he’s having dinner. Kids are already hungry before husband reaches home, so we can’t have dinner together.
My husband showed me his calendar. No joke. He has full day meeting, so he has to work at night and during weekends to write code. But I’m extremely curious - most people in his team have kids. Everyone is like him with no WLB at all???
You need to hire mothers helper . Reduce your chores and offload done duties like cleaning , prepping meals , feeding kids and giving them a shower . I spent lot of my earning in the first two years of having kid in hiring help . You need help so none of you have to do the mundane work . That’s why one earns money . To make your life easy. No point in buying another Tesla when your life is miserable.
Its definitely a tough job but at some point he has to have some sort of work boundaries. Especially so that he can spend time with his family and help out. I would definitely talk to him about it.
There is a lot of pressure in these big tech companies to be everywhere and do everything, and it's easy to get into the pattern of just accepting every meeting that comes along. I don't know what job your husband has so I don't know whether all these meetings are absolutely critical, but there's a chance they may not be. I have seen many people be successful at Google by cutting back on meetings to focus on where they can be most impactful, rather than by trying to participate in every meeting or project they can. I would maybe try to have a talk with him (gently) about whether all the work he's doing is really contributing directly to his goals or performance targets. If you start with your performance metrics, promotion criteria, etc, and then ruthlessly prioritize until you are *only* doing things that will have a direct impact on those metrics, you can often get rid of a lot of crap that seems important but doesn't actually contribute to your career.
It's also important for you to have your voice heard (again, gently) to the effect that this isn't working for you and you want something different from your life together. So I'd try to find a way to sit down with him and have that conversation -- don't blame him or be angry with him, just tell him how you're feeling.
Rising Star
We all have to make sacrifices to cover mortgage payments and afford the high cost of living. If my spouse ranted about my company, role, lack of household contribution, and WLB in a public forum, we would need more than a maid.
Ah I work 5:50 to 5:50 in office 3-5 days a week. Tech industry ain't no joke 😂
Set aside money for a babysitter so that you can take care of yourself ( a soak in the tub, a shower twice a day, a walk, recovering from sleep debt).
Get him and you to have a full body medical checkup. All that stress is definitely having an impact on him already.
Does he have personal Term Insurance?
Get a fiduciary Advisory to understand where you both stand with regard to debt, providing for your children, and retirement.
You will both be able to take stock of the situation once you both have information on expenses, on health, on life goals, and can then think of where you want to get to and how you’ll get there.
It is easy to get lost in the day to day scramble of life and never have the larger goal in mind.
I am sure partner level earnings (specifically company like fb) are way higher that you can afford to hire someone to help with chores and even for childcare, But if the compensation is not enough then better get another job with WLB.
Not sure about 50% chores after 9/10 hrs work but I believe that family time is very important so talk to your husband before it gets complicated.
Taken a look at the COL in the silly valley recently? Moreover, childcare is WAY more expensive than many think, IF you can find someone in the first place. Demand far exceeds supply.
E6 at meta makes minimum 650k per year. There’s no reason why you can’t offload chores to an external service. It’s an extra 10-15k per year.
levels.fyi shows average salaries. he may be underpaid
Why don’t you just hire someone to help with the chores?
They’re already stretched thin with regular bills plus daycare.
Chief
He needs to set better boundaries at work and learn to say no more. He works at an established company not a startup. There's no reason he needs to be working 996 like he's in China.
Who makes more money and by how much?
If he works at Meta you can afford child care and a maid... If you want him to help more around the house tell him to get a lower paying job.
If he’s E6 at Meta, and bringing home the dough, why don’t you hire some help with the chores? You have the means to do that, and you should leave the chores to a help or two, and spend quality time with your kids. From your tone in your post, you seem unhappy. That is bad energy to surround your kids with. So don’t fault your husband for working too hard, seek help and make both of your lives easier.
If you can’t afford childcare then you probably can’t afford to save money, and if he is working this hard without saving money, then something is off in this story.
You can pay for counseling or you can pay for a house cleaner, either way you pay and… you’d probably happier with a cleaner house.
Use your cash to outsource some tasks. Get a “mothers helper” for dinner time or something.
Nothing unexpected here. Farcebook^H^H^H^HMeta has a long history of whipping employees and discriminating by age, disability, and family status. That they make him work in an office -- and thus most likely you're forced to live in the Silly Valley -- is a bellwether of Zuckerberg's hellscape.
You must be making more than 700K as a family? Why can't you afford child care?