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I totally get the frustration but I also think we need to stop normalizing this expectation of this job being all consuming.
Yes. It’s just advertising.
Agree with all re: being understanding and flexible. But flexibility by definition does allow for limits. If it’s constantly creating issues for you and the team to get work done / the person in question is unable to get what they need to done then a discussion is necessary - first with them and if it can’t improve with higher ups.
Having said that, unless you have a special work schedule or I am missing something, it’s not generally acceptable to fault anyone for stopping work at 5 or 6 if they did what they needed to do that day / worked what they had agreed to work in terms of hours. Forgetting these special times, our industry is terrible about normalizing work outside of the standard 9-5pm (8hrs) work day. Granted a lot can adjust schedules and shifts to meet their needs and we have our fair share of extra efforts outside of these times when there are important deadlines or new business, but this pandemic is a reminder of what matters most and establishing better work boundaries to be respectful of our own time. So if your team “needs” to work past 6pm regularly, then I suggest not focusing on the parent who isn’t able to but instead on the team/work/etc and fixing that first.
Pro
CD7, my partner isn’t handling those duties responsibly is the point. Debriefs, client calls, and internal creative reviews are being missed across three projects. And we don’t have lots of teams. One dedicated junior team, 50% of another junior team. Many revisions made every step of the way. We have to do lots of the work. I’d be totally fine if every morning and every night the deck for Project 1 looked polished and team A on Project 2 was totally clear on what needed to be done for Friday. But my partner is checked out half of the time. Not just actual missed meetings but when they’re actually present, they’re often not present. So from your POV, I’m the one working inefficiently because I have to spend an extra half an hour a day reminding my partner what needs to get done and explaining again why a certain idea died and explaining again what the media buy is, and then hopping on the phone with one of our junior teams and realizing that they weren’t given proper direction from my partner so I have to do it even though my partner and I are supposed to be dividing and conquering.
I’ve done triple dipping. And I double dipped for months at a time as a freelancer. Triple dipping is harder than my current situation. Double dipping is probably easier than my current situation. But at least in both double triple dipping and double dipping cases I had a partner who was always there. If my workload was this crazy but my partner was present and available, it would be less painful.
Kids are important - their development is important - we should not stop having kids. One really good thing that is going to come out of all of this is that we are going to shift the way we work with parents (especially mothers), and there will be a greater understanding/empathy for their contributions to society beyond their work product.
Absolutely! Still, people are free to value competitively selling soap more than developing happy and well adjusted children, or being happy and well adjusted themselves. Free will and all that.
And if those people want to opt out of the gene pool, I will do anything I can to support that choice. Of course, that could lead to voluntary extinction of said values in one or two generations. They will surely be missed.
Hey OP realize by allowing your albatross of a partner to hang around your neck, you will either lift them up or you will be dragged down with them. They will get the same amount of credit as you or they will get the majority of the credit if they are a better salesperson or have a better relationship with your bosses than you. I’m sure you’ll be fine with it when they get promoted before you or use your work to get a better job without you. Your feelings are beyond valid. If you feel it in your “gut” that you’re doing the majority of the work then you probably are. You just have to hope everyone else above you sees you side and aren’t simps for parenting stories. Good luck. You’re gonna need it since you’re now working for your partner and their family. Question: if you have kids in the future, are you sure your partner would continuously take time out of their life to pick up the slack for you? (Hint: they won’t. Their family will always mean more than you, your job security or your family. Your partner is selfish and rightfully so.) Just make sure you take care of you. There are way better partners out there.
Just go full Kurtz and retreat to some undeveloped region where your psychopathic tendencies could be seen as a virtue. Sell the house, sell the car, sell the kids.
I can’t imagine trying to take care of kids during covid and do my job at the same time. This is an impossible situation for parents. Above all, be compassionate.
As a creative in a leadership role with a toddler at home and no option to send him into daycare or have family watch him (because pandemic restrictions) I agree with the replies saying someone without kids will never truly understand how diffucult it really is or how important parenting duties are despite it being unpaid usually thankless work.
Lots of agencies are lean on purpose, short-staffed, and filled with scared over-worked people (parents and not). Well guess what? Clients are often in the same position: many of them are parents struggling to balance having a kid or two at home while trying to work and needing to log off here and there cause someone spilled their cereal or they have to comfort a kid or put them down for a nap. More often than not they remember that we agency folks are humans too. A couple of times I had my toddler make noise on a client call and was pleasantly surprised at someone on the client's end feel comfortable enough to say OMG I know what you're going through because I am also dealing with a similar situation.
you should ask to change. your partner deserves better.
My partner has two young children and empathizing with her goes a long way. Reframe how you think about your own partners absences. They go dark and then care enough to come back and help after hours.
So, what are your proposing that your partner do? If there aren’t any other child care options, how are they actually supposed to fix that? If they’re up against the wall, there may not be any other options but to find ways (add other team members, etc) to help compensate in the short term. Pretend they’re caring for a dying spouse or parent to increase your empathy, and help them figure out a solution to cover. (And they should be part of that conversation for sure - it’s fine to level with them - X, this isn’t working and we need to fix it. I know you’re doing your best in a really messed up time. I’ve been thinking about bringing Y into the team/shifting our work hours/whatever the solution is. What do you think?)
Pro
I’m not proposing anything. I’m just slowly drowning in my own stress and wishing my agency didn’t let go of so many people last year while also wishing i had a partner who could take on more of our work responsibilities, while simultaneously understanding that I’m fortunate to have a job and that my partner is going through a tough time, too. There is no more budget. No Calvary coming in to save us. Our clients aren’t going to suddenly transform into better clients.
Im lost on people saying “the problem is your workload.” Obviously it is, but what is OP gonna do? Tell their boss “I have too much work 😟.” As acknowledged by almost everyone here, it’s an advertising problem. And I think we can all guess how that conversation would go.
Also, during Covid there is no school & no day care. Kids are just home. And the parents are left to watch them and tend to their needs while also working full time. When they have daycare, the kids are being watched by someone else so parents can focus on work. These times are not normal and not sustainable.
Joke’s on them. While all your partner is getting is a few moments of absolute joy through the madness that is parenting, you’re getting to spend your nights working on those amazing Cymbalta banner ads with no overtime.
Another parent here chiming in. Maybe it’s not your work partner that’s the issue but rather the unhealthy expectation your agency places on their teams. Sounds like you need more firepower beneath you, and perhaps fewer projects. Before growing resentment for your partner, step back to realize everyone is doing the best they can to adapt to this mess while agencies/clients expect the same output (or more) from less.
my agency/bosses are more understanding about people taking care if their pets than you seem to be about someone taking care of their child. i work long nights. i also take personal days and miss mornings going to appointments. if you are overwhelmed as a team, ask for reallocation. if you arent willing to find the time, or lose the work, get a new partner who works better for you.
I don’t have kids but have had many partners who have over the years. If you want to keep working with this person, be understanding and be on their schedule, and look at picking up the slack as an investment in your skills and welcome their fresh perspective when they’ve been away from it and come back in.
The other option is to find a new partner or a new employer. 9-6 hours are enough to make some great work if you two are being efficient in the right situation.
This won’t be forever. Try to be as understanding as possible. I am sure your partner won’t forget it.
“We live in a country ... that has left it to individuals to figure out their family caregiving arrangements on their own. ... There were never the structures in place to help us and to provide for working families in this country in the way that there are elsewhere." -
https://www.npr.org/2021/02/18/968930085/almost-a-year-into-the-pandemic-working-moms-feel-forgotten-journalist-says?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_term=nprnews&utm_campaign=npr
Reading into the comments, it sounds like you gave a LOT more context after. Yes, we can relate and yes, you should have an open conversation with your partner about it. See the compromise.
Suck it up and ask for more money.
There is nothing unreasonable about stopping for the day at 6pm. Maybe your agency’s culture is the problem.
Missing meetings and dropping the ball isn't really acceptable. Unless it is. You don't have to cut them slack but you can.
You can also talk to them or not. Escalate it or not. Your call.
If you dont want to support your partner, why dont you tell them that you don’t want to be there to support them.
And then tell your ECD you want a new partner who doesn’t have all the family baggage?
Not a reaction to OPs comments,more to some of the replys that got me fired up. Realize OP was just asking if people could relate.