Telling my wife and my parents/in laws that we are most likely going to be a one child family, reasons include physical toll on my wife due to limited support in the US (Covid prevents us from having parents over) affording college in the future, overall savings etc. I’m being given a laundry list of negatives of having one child but I’d rather support one child 100% than not have enough for 2. Let me know your thoughts

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It’s your life. Screw everyone else. Parents will always have opinions about how you should live your life until you’re 50! Do what’s best for your family!

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We had our first 4 months ago and we recently decided that we are not going to have more. We also decided that there is no need for an announcement as such. If our parents talk about wanting more grandkids, we’ll just brush it off casually. We want to be 100% focused on our one kid and save up for his college. Our goal is to expose him to other kids through day care/play dates etc. He’ll be fine and so will we

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Better to have a few, good chance one of them might show some care when you are old.
With only One the odds are low.

I am a single child , we had our daughter after years of treatment at 40 as much as we really want a second we saw what it did to my wife professionally and health wise and we decided that we have our princess and we want to give her everything and we have accepted that decision and couldn’t be happier !

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It is literally what you and your spouse wants. Parents, in laws, siblings, friends, everyone else - opinions immaterial.

My spouse and I both come families where there are no single child! We both talked over this, and even before we had our first, and only, child we had come to the decision that we will be a single child family. We both have had surgeries to ensure that remains the case. Inform your parents, or anyone else, as a matter of fact that you won't have more children. Any follow-up counterpoints, say you can't.

likesmart

We have an 8yr old single child. Have no regrets yet that we decided to be a one child family. We love that we get to spend quality time with him, be there for all his activities, easier to give him our undivided attention. He is a great kid and has tons of friends. He gets invited to play dates all the time. He plays with kids of all ages so his friend’s younger/older siblings also enjoy having him around.

Also, this summer , we were able to sign him up for so many summer camps that he loved but were expensive. We would have balked at spending that kind of money on multiple kids.

So financially, emotionally and socially, we are checking all the boxes by having a single child and that makes us very happy and satisfied.

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Yup SC1 100% on the same page

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Both me and my SO are single children... Curious what the negatives are.. we both loved it..

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D3 lol if anyone’s frowns at me for having a single girl child, I’ll tell them to F off

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If you are first immigrant, then your child may not have extended family around. Like siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles etc.

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Might suck not having siblings especially if there aren’t any relatives nearby

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Genuine question: why would you discuss your family planning with your parents or in laws? I understand the pressure from desi parents for the first kid, I guess after that it becomes an overkill. Btw, I agree with your thought process. Me and SO both are single child and we loved our childhood.

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Its not just the support, people back home are not as motivated to save up for education and retirement

One kid here too. Population control was the first motive. Parents in laws asked but said just smiled and left it.

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I have two young kids but support one kid families. My wife gave me the reason of our first kids loneliness if we aren’t around. Now I realize having one kid enables you to focus on them, monetarily, emotionally and physically. I feel a little distant from my first born now with the young one stealing his attention 🤦‍♂️

It’s your decision. Don’t try to keep folks happy who grew up in 4-6 siblings environment. I will try to explain them with your reasons for not having it. I have a 6 months old and we are just focus on her right now. Anyway, our doctor recommended to plan for second child only after 2 years if we want. So plenty of time to think on it. It’s a lot of work with kid and make couples overwhelmed.

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