Related Posts
More Posts
Whatever you do don’t turn on networking...
Conversation Starter
Additional Posts in Consulting
Rising Star
Rising Star
Anonymous User
Chief
RIP Hank Aaron ⚾️
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
I think if you’ve been trying for a year with no luck you should see a fertility specialist? I have never been pregnant though, so this is just something I’ve heard. Getting pregnant at age 30-35 really doesn’t have that much worse odds than 25-30 so not sure it’s necessary to scare young women into starting families earlier than when they feel ready.
Yeah the fertility starts decreasing at 32, but slowly at first so generally it’s fine until 35-37 if there are no other issues. Perhaps seeing a fertility doctor earlier might help with the risk of something else being wrong later? (I don’t have an answer to that, just a thought)
Pro
I’m thinking of you, OP.
We had very difficult times with having our kids (getting pregnant and miscarriages) and it was really tough for both my wife and for me. Way tougher than work for me & that’s with my wife bearing the emotional brunt of it more than I did.
Three things that I think helped us:
1) Therapy
2) Knowing that you aren’t alone and that more people than you know have faced these struggles.
3) Remembering that the kid(s) you one day have are biologically not the ones you ever could have had in your 20s. It’s not like we could have had our kids when we were younger. We would have had different kids then. And we’re really attached to ours!
I am so so sorry to hear you are hurting. How long have you been trying?
Had our baby, she was 36 at delivery time and tried for 5 years, 2 unsuccessful IVFs and then it worked the natural way. Stress does not help definitely -she said she was done with crying and worrying and let herself go. However, specialists told us people have babies even in the middle of wars, so… do not lose hope. Did you try going to a specialist yet? They may analyze your situation and your partner’s.
Trying to get pregnant which then turned into a 2+ years and counting infertility saga. The appointments, procedures, meds, etc. are a lot. No one knows at work either. So I agree completely, it’s exhausting. Everyone has their hidden struggles and I’m so sorry for yours. (I cried after the last pregnancy announcement)
Sorry you are going through this. My wife and I went through IUI/IVF and it was brutal but rewarding. Don’t overthink it and try to make time to disconnect. We found success when we stopped worrying so much.
It’s ironic. You spent the first 15 years of your sexually active years desperate not to get pregnant, then the next 10 trying so hard to conceive. The worst thing you can do is put additional pressure on yourself. Like others have said- if it’s been a while then maybe see someone. Science is amazing. But more importantly you snd your partner need to work through this together. As a team and you’ll find your path.
It's brutal. My wife and I went through two miscarriages then saw a specialist. We think we've identified the issue and fixed it, so now we're trying again!
The journey is always different for everyone. We started having kids closer to our 30s. Lots of ups and downs. Even having children now is stressful. Take care of yourself and all you can do is keep trying.
Rising Star
OP, best of luck to you. It can be quite frustrating and depressing. We went through treatments for two years with only a miscarriage as well he result.
We stopped trying and then four months later she was pregnant.
Just remember, it can be just as hard on the guys as well. He may not show it as much but he is suffering also.
So much empathy for you. My husband (35) and I (31) tried for a year (tracking all the things) before pursuing fertility testing and treatment. We were ultimately successful six months later after a few rounds of Clomid + IUI, but I’ll never forget the pain of wondering if it would ever happen for us. Please be kind to yourself and try not to judge yourself too harshly for those moments when emotions win out.
Completely agree - had kids young. Not easy but I think it is a better problem to deal with vs having them older. It’s cool when you have a kid and you still have that kid side in you when you’re in your 20s.
OP, think about it like a Consultant: there is really no more "clock ticking".
There is IVF for women who have trouble conceiving.
There are egg donors for women who have trouble producing viable eggs.
There are surrogates for women who have trouble carrying a baby.
There are ways to freeze eggs and embryos.
It'll happen - one way or another!
That analogy of running a race is so spot on. I have two kids now but it took a year to conceive baby #1. I know that’s not long but it was so uncertain. I count my blessings every day but will never forget that feeling.
Thank you so much for your love and support! I've calmed down. Such is life. It is what it is. I'll put my best foot forward and see what destiny leads me. As a last resort, I can always submit adoption application to share my love.
Rising Star
We ended up having one biological child without help after trying treatments for two years. He was our first and last one, so we went the adoption route as well. Ended up adopting three wonderful kids out of foster care.
I wouldn't change anything for the world.
The reason I shared this is to let you know there is always hope no matter what route you choose.
Don't wait? No thanks, I had mine at 32 and 34...I wanted to be financially stable first. That's what should matter, if you feel you can properly care for a child at 27, then sure.
Rising Star
I’m sorry, OP. I’ve been there and it’s brutal. I’ve finally reached the point where announcements don’t hurt so much. I hope tomorrow’s a better day.
how old would you recommend someone in this field to be when they start trying / having kids? only 24 but i want babies SO badly so i want to make it a priority
Well said
Take care of yourself OP - it can feel very isolating and depressing. You’re not alone, though.
OP, hang in there you got this. Yes there’s data out there that tells you your clock is ticking but technology is constantly improving and there is hope
Depending on how far along you are (and haven’t seen a specialist), I recommend trying the Ava bracelet. Similar situation and my wife got pregnant within two months of trying once we got that.
I know Ava, but I was advised only to use that if I have regular cycle. I don't unfortunately..
20 years of financial pain and rebellion, lifetime of unilateral attachment