What should I do if I really like this guy I’m seeing but find his character to be questionable? Basically I like his personality but not his character. He’s done and does a lot of things that I don’t morally align with and I’ve caught him lying about them. We’ve been dating exclusively for 3 months now. 8 if you include time we were not exclusive.

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Sorry, but those would be dealbreakers for me. You need to figure out your position and act accordingly. Every conman is the world was described as “having a great personality”.

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Ummmmm… you sound like chaos.

Lmk get those digits

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He sounds horrible.

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Oh hell no.

I’m separated (waiting for court to set a divorce hearing). Even though I haven’t spoken to my ex-husband in almost a year, I’m still legally married. And I get that divorce is a long process and it doesn’t make sense all the time to sit on your ass and do nothing while waiting for the court to grant the divorce. It’s so common and (in my experience) understood that it’s not worth lying about. Whatever his motivation for lying, that’s a BIG thing to lie about, and who knows what he’ll lie about in the future?

And stealing money from your parents (unless it was something like $50 for beer as a teenager) is just gross.

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Like what ?

He’a stolen money from his parents, never made it right with them even though they continue to be generally supportive and good parents to him; and he lied about his divorce to me. He is separated but said the divorce is finalized even though it’s not yet.

Lying about being divorced while he's "separated" is unfortunately a common theme with guys... and a huge deal breaker. Stealing from the parents may need some context- I think I stole a folding chair from my parents (aka borrowed and never gave back) and a $20 here and there... but we are talking about $100s or $1000s without any intention of paying back, then that's an issue. These would be dealbreakers for me. Is this even someone you want to be friends with, let alone be in a relationship with?

Are you hearing yourself? He STOLE FROM HIS PARENTS AS AN ADULT! Does he also kick puppies on the weekends and tip over trash cans? He’s a creep! Get rid of him. Sorry, not sorry.

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What is your goal here? Are you looking for marriage and kids? Then no, he would make a terrible father and husband. Go ask the person that he’s not yet divorced from. Just want a fling? I guess he’ll do but you don’t want to be making babies with him.

My goal was marriage and kids with him. He was fun while he lasted I guess.

I’m sorry it doesn’t appear to be working out how you wanted, but I’m glad you are able to draw a line in the sand when it comes to what you are looking for in character and moral qualities.

His personality includes stealing and lying. You can’t separate those things out to justify liking him. These are red flags. If someone steals and lies about a few things, they steal and lie about bigger things. That’s who he is and what he does. It’ll just get worse from here. Find someone who doesn’t do those things!

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