When a woman puts on her dating profile that her kids are the #1 thing in her life. Am I wrong in thinking that if we got married I would be the #3 thing in her life?

likefunny
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Yes you are wrong. What she is telling you is that she won’t put a bad relationship with a guy ahead of her relationship with her kids. I also take that to mean that she is looking for the right person to be part of her family.

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If you had kids with her you’d be #3 too. Women are different than men, we put our kids above everything. Think of the difference between a mama bear and papa bear in the wild. The mama ferociously defends her young and papa goes off to find more a$$, not exactly the same in the human race but you get the point.

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I agree with a statement in the original post. You would be surprised at the number of men who don’t either see their kids at all or take any interest in their kids. I know a guy who is divorced, has a young daughter and he knows his ex-wife isn’t a good mom but he won’t take her to court, he won’t document things in order to get the child away from her. If you’re not gonna stand up for your own child you won’t stand up for anybody else.

Switched around, if I was single, my kids would be number 1 without a doubt

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Any man would want his woman’s children first in her life. First means: don’t make me choose, you will lose. First doesn’t mean: I won’t take care of my man if he takes care of me.

Make her children first and reap the love that follows. From one who’s lived it.

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As a person who has a stepdad, I think there is some truth to what you’re thinking

funny

My mom and step dad both put us first as necessary. And they put each other first as necessary as well. Hell my brother is my step dad's biological kid and he treated us equally.

uplifting

What is people's version of put "insert whoever" here first really mean? I think in terms of immediate and basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, safety), its expected to put the kids first, especiallly the ones that are fully dependent on others. My wife and I have talked about this along with many of our other friends who are married with kids and the understanding is that we out our spouses first in terms of emotional stability, as its the driving force of the foundation of the family.

smart

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