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OP, is your role actually a customer service representative? Are you being paid hourly? If so, you have a schedule that you can stick to. If not, if you’re salary, you may have to have that conversation with your boss looking for guidance on the late meetings, and the late hours. Are there other former military members like yourself in the company or even in your same area also? If so, you may want to reach out to them, if you feel you can trust them, and ask how they’re handling it.
Can't hurt to broach the topic and have a heart to heart about it. Explain it just the way you did here - that you missed a lot of valuable time with your family while you were deployed and are hoping to make up for that now. Obviously, you'll need to balance this with your commitment to doing your job well and wanting to be a team player, but maybe you and your manager can come to an agreement on a schedule that you're both happy with. Good luck!
So order of events - you deployed, returned, went right back to work where you have to work big hours?
I’m not sure any manager can give the flexibility you’re looking for. Maybe consider taking a leave of absence or part-time working for a while?
I have thought of taking a leave of absence, but I want something more sustainable.
That is going to be tough. Many people don't care about what other obligations we have outside of work.