{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "A big surprise challenge in wfh has been my spouse seeing me around the house and expecting me to help out with daily chores and helping with kids then getting frustrated when I’m not able to get up and help. Our whole marriage, when I’ve been home that means I’m not working and can help her out with things, but now that rhythm has changed and it’s hard. Anyone else going through this? Hoping we’re not the only ones 🤞🤞😬", "post_id": "5eddd3690df121002b540355", "reply_count": 26, "vote_count": 28, "bowl_id": "564a5cdb94887803001dd07c", "bowl_name": "Accounting" }

A big surprise challenge in wfh has been my spouse seeing me around the house and expecting me to help out with daily chores and helping with kids then getting frustrated when I’m not able to get up and help. Our whole marriage, when I’ve been home that means I’m not working and can help her out with things, but now that rhythm has changed and it’s hard. Anyone else going through this? Hoping we’re not the only ones 🤞🤞😬

likefunnysmart
Posting as :
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Quit being lazy?

likefunnysmarthelpful

Does your wife also have a full time job or is she a sat at home mom? During these times she asks you to help out, are you ‘working’ or is it at the beginning /end of day?

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You’re seriously complaining on helping out with daily chores? Come on. Get off your lazy ass. You have the ability to get up.

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As a working mom this post make we want to vomit. Sorry not sorry.

likeuplifting

If she’s normally a stay at home mom you could probably try to establish “working hours” but I would recommend trying to help, a lot of my colleagues will start work earlier and take longer lunch breaks to help out. If she’s not, you’re just being lazy.

likehelpful

If your wife is working from home as well, you have no excuse. Even if she isn't, it is hard for your wife to take care of your kid and do chores at the same time since the kid doenst go to school. It is your wife and your kid, so why not just spend some time for them?

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Maybe she is asking you for help because she is overwhelmed.

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Your wife is home 24/7 and cannot bring the kids anywhere to have a change of scenery or bring them to school/play dates. That’s a huge change from how it’s been your “whole marriage”. I work part time and still greatly appreciate the small breaks my husband takes when WFH to simply play with our toddler so I can get a few minutes “off”. I’m sure your colleagues understand if you step away for a few minutes (they probably won’t even notice)

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This - if she's a stay at home mom, she has no distractions and no friends to rely on. It's basically hell.

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She’s your wife, your partner, and the mother of your kids, not your indentured servant. Grow up, Deloitte will be OK if you are away for 30 minutes to be a dad. Not impressed 👎

likesmart

Working full time, whether from home or the office, doesn’t make it ok for your wife to be your maid. If you were single and lived alone, you would be be doing laundry, cooking, doing dishes, and other general household chores, even while working full time. Its not unreasonable for your wife to be frustrated if you’re putting no effort to help with the house or kids. It makes no difference whether or not she’s a stay at home mom. Parenting the children should be something you have an equal share in.

like

It’s a weird time for everyone, and most employers are acknowledging that. I’m sure no one would fault you for being more involved at home, and your wife would appreciate it. With no commute, you can run the dishwasher or throw in a load of wash, pick up a couple toys, make a snack. It doesn’t have to be an overhaul. Just an effort.

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Everyone at work should understand if you need 5 minutes to help with the baby or something. This is on you.

likesmart

Dad grade: D- at best.

likehelpful

It seems like everyone is quick to jump on this guy. My advice is to establish a system that works and meet in the middle. For example, if I shut the door to my office that means daddy is working. If not, fair game and I help out.

like

Is your wife a stay-at-home mom? If that's the case, I think it would be reasonable for you to set "working hours" where you are not expected to help with chores/kids. But I'd break them up into chunks and take a long lunch break with your family. I'd emphasize to her that you need to work the same amount of hours at home that you would be working if you were in the office. However, if your wife is also working from home, tough shit. You both need to work together to take care of the kids and the chores. You could make a schedule where one of you works in the morning while the other takes care of kids/chores, take a lunch together, and then switch roles in the afternoon.

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Definitely clear that I need to do a lot more and do my part around the house!!! My apologies to people in a relationship where both of the parents are working. I realize now how my post is insensitive to that situation. For those who asked, my wife is not working right now.

likeuplifting

I don’t think it was an insensitive post. If one spouse is working in the marriage then why wouldn’t the other take primary responsibility for the kids etc? I struggled with a similar situation and we eventually figured it. Little things like picking up coffee in the mornings go a long way.

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I’ve had similar challenges but we’ve worked through them. For us it’s the challenge of my work space being in the middle of the kitchen/living room so I’m right in the middle of everything. Add on some unconventional hours for a project (swing shift hours) and I’m working during the bedtime routine. For me I’ve accepted that I’m far less productive while my daughter is awake and that’s ok. This is a once in a lifetime experience to have this much time at home. That being said, the second nap time begins or once she goes down for the night I’m online with a vengeance to catch up. It makes for a longer day/shift which results in sacrifices from everyone but it’s totally worth it. Don’t run from having to juggle so much right now. I think in a year when we are all back in the office we will look back and miss how much family time we had in 2020.

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Not weird at all tax manager 1. They had a huge (heard $25m though no idea how accurate) project these last 3 months processing PPP loans and forcing people to work nights.

If she is a stay at home mom, have the conversation that you need to continue to work as you had been when you were still in the office, focused and uninterrupted, in order to continue to support the family financially as well as you have been. If she is also working full time from home... Yeah you need to step it up and help with the kids too. My wife is a stay at home mom to our two little kids. She knows what I do, allows her to do what she does, And vice versa. It's a household team effort. If I have to split my focus all day, work performance and productivity does suffer. So during the day she lets me focus and doesn't ask me to do much around the house or with the kids. After I'm done work, then the family and household chores are my priority.

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As a married couple and family guy, it is always difficult (hell, let’s face it, pretty much impossible) to find a balance between your work and family time. The best advice I can give is to have a discussion about the expectations of your job, and try your best to find a good split between you both. I see that your wife doesn’t work, and so it is only fair that she’s putting in her best effort to get stuff done during the normal work hours of the day. Then there is the other OT hours you probably work all the time. If you can explain to her what your managers are expecting, however unrealistic as we all know, then at least your working together towards the common goal of the happiness and well-being of your family. But you need to commit to do your best to help out as much as you’re able. Most importantly, do take every possible opportunity to be there for and present with your family. You only get those opportunities once and time goes by in a flash. Good luck!

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Help out!!!!!

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