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1000%. I am experiencing the same thing with my full-time planner (and have been for the last year). Our wedding is early September. Honestly this may be bad, but I just waited for her to drop the ball on something and then sent a stern email. I think it’s easier to address that something HAS gone wrong, vs constantly staying on top of someone to make sure nothing goes wrong. Again, not the best approach but I was desperate and now things have gotten better.
I wish I would have just done a “day of coordinator”. I’ve done all the work anyways and seems like she just wants to put her hands into something if she feels like it and it only adds too many hands to the pot. Such a weird thing to navigate!
Can you fire her and find a new one? You’re the paying client here, and it doesn’t sound like she’s providing what you have and paid for.