At what point does it not make sense to buy/ build a bigger home? My husband dislikes our house immensely (was his with former wife) and wants to move. Only owes $180k on it, we’ve been together 6 years and thus I’d rather just remodel. It’s the only thing we disagree about - moving or staying. He doesn’t want to invest one more cent in this house.

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Obviously too many unpleasant memories in the house for your husband, so time to buy a house that will only have memories of your marriage and 100% of both of your personalities and taste.


My $.02. If your spouse wants the new house then he should do the work and you both agree on the outcome. If he doesn’t do the work then stay where you are at. Don’t get a 30-year. Budget for a mortgage that ends when you both plan to retire.

Assuming "only owes 180K" means you have decent equity, you don't need to be strapped with a high new mortgage as when you sell the current house, you can put that profit into the new home. This would allow you to have a smaller mortgage, which you could also finance for 10 or 15 years.

Also, do you need a bigger house, or maybe something similar in size without the ex-wife's presence?

Personally, I wouldn't go with a fixer upper unless both of you are very committed to the hassle of living in and around a construction site for many months. IMO, the savings frequently isn't worth the aggravation.


I would definitely move. No amount of remodeling is going to take away his bad memories of what went on in that house. Do both of you a favor and start looking. Interest rates are crazy low right now.


Assuming you have filed jointly, pre-approval will only take you 20 minutes alone. Just do it. He can sign the docusign in less than 3 minutes.

If you buy a similar house you will be financing only 10% more assuming normal commissions and fees. If you have 15 years left on your mortgage, finance for 15 years, 10 years, finance for 10. Time to payoff doesn't have to change.


Sounds like you need to be an episode of “Love it or List It” 😊


D1 - we could use a slightly larger house. We have 2 bedroom, 2 bath. One bedroom has become his office for wfh, and I have a small space set up in the basement./lower level by the laundry room.

And literally zero storage space so we rent a storage garage for a variety of seasonal items that we have no room to store.

Our kitchen is very small - can’t even fit a table/chairs in it, have to use stools at a counter/island.

All that aside, we are on 3 lovely wooded acres which I hate to give up.

Definitely need a bigger, more functional home. I suspect you will need to move since it will be quite an expensive and extensive remodel of the existing house.
I can relate to how nice acreage is, as I have 13 acres and not sure I could handle a smaller property.

I’m in the same boat but without the SO - hate my 2/2 house but love my area, only owe $120k now so sucking it up til it is paid off. But if your husband really hates it and with those ex-wife memories...I’d be doing a renovation or moving. Assuming you’re both still working, you can continue to generate income - but you won’t get back all the time your husband spends being unhappy.

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Just bought a new primary residence that needs work. Current home has ~$100k equity after buying in 2019 with <$20k down (appreciated around 20% in the last 3 years, in a major metro area). Would you:

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