Does anyone else have friends who lack texting etiquette? Trying to figure out if I need better friends or if bad texting behaviour is now the norm. Wondering if I should start calling them out on it more or just give up. For example: friend: “What are you doing tomorrow night” me: “no set plans yet might do a zoom call” friend: [no reply] me: “rude. happy new year” friend: [no reply]

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I would not have replied, either, and would’ve stopped altogether after the “rude”. We all have things to do - you can’t always assume people are always glued to their phones. If you’re an adult then say directly what bothers you to your friend.

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Babe, any relationship is a *two-way street*, meaning it also goes for friendships. If you really want to have a great friendship with this person then show it - what do you lose in showing more effort, too? All relationships take work.

Life is too short to dwell on assumptions and way too short to play games like this where you keep track of how long someone takes to reply or how many follow-ups someone made. That’s toxic behavior.

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I used to get annoyed bc my best friend was bad at responding. Fast forward to now and I’m bad at texting. I don’t mean to be but the pandemic has rly done a number on me and I don’t have the energy to reach back out sometimes. I get to it eventually. If I need something from someone or vice versa, we just double text or call.

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This goes back 20 years for me. Sometimes people were cooler and more responsive online than in real life, others were aloof online but great in real life. Just kinda depends. Neither bad just ppl are different.

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I use to be better online then grew tired of it. Now I’d rather in person. But also a listener more than a talker.

How much time between each text message? 5 minutes? An hour? A day? I don’t understand how you chose to leave out this very crucial detail.

Though, that timing stuff aside, people don’t text back all the time and it’s not a big deal.

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I get it. It sucks when it happens at the same time and it’s hard not to take personally when it does. I felt that way more frequently when I was less busy/had fewer people in my circle (but who were busier than me). Have you considered expanding your circle a bit and connecting with new people/reconnecting with old people?

It depends on how long it takes for your friend to reply. If it’s one or two hours that’s completely fine with me. If it’s days I might get annoyed but I would always ask first if they’ve been busy these days before I jump to the conclusion they ignore me purposely. Sometimes people just forget to reply and it happens to me too, but I’ll always apologize for forgetting to reply because Ive been busy at work or other personal things. My friends now know that i sometimes “mentally” reply messages (I reply in my head and think I already reply🤷🏻‍♀️🤣) and they are okay with it. Also I always try to write full sentences with emoji because recipients cannot hear your tone through texts you send. Also... you can always call them if they haven’t replied

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Haha thank god I’m not alone!

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Yes, my daughter is like this. Lol

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I mean have they always been like this or is this a recent trend?

If always, I think it’s just their texting personality. Sometimes you just forget and after a long time of being friend with them I know that that’s how they are but when we meet in person it’s great!

If it’s i my been recently, maybe they’ve been stressed during the holidays? I know it’s our time to unwind etc but if they had to go see family etc, it could’ve added a burden.

Last one, which may or may not apply, when I’m depressed or stressed or going through some things I can shutdown and become reluctant to check my phone and reply way later...not doing it to annoy anyone or not reply on purpose but purely for a lack of energy...food for thought

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I have a friend who takes about 6 texts to get to the point of her message. Everyone in our group knows to give her a few minutes before we respond

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If it helps, my own family: aunts, uncles and cousins don’t even respond. “Blood is thicker than water” So don’t expect much from the water either.

uplifting

It was rude you didnt ask a question after you answered theirs, its called a conversation

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I did say “how about you?” but I forgot to include that I did (see above)

I 100% understand where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t say bad texting behavior is the new norm because I don’t see this with even person I text. But yeah - there are a few of my friends who exhibit similar trends and I commented on this a few times and then just pretty much gave up, as I didn’t see much of a change 🤷‍♀️
It did bother me too, so I get it.

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I have lots of friends that take hours or days to respond to me, sometimes I’m the same way. I don’t mind because I) some of them are slow to respond due to anxiety or depression, me getting upset just makes them feel worse ii) sometimes a conversation gets started at an inopportune time, when one of us has quality time planned with someone, etc. iii) sometimes I’m just not in the mood to respond, especially if they haven’t asked me a question, so I give them the same grace I want.

The only time I care about a quick response is if we’re planning to see each other in the near future and want to coordinate a plan. If I really want to chat with some I ask them if they’re up for a call.

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Maybe you just don’t matter to them that much. Are you equally timely responding to all messages/emails that you receive regardless of who the sender is (I.e. no response prioritization)?

I generally try to reply within the day at most

Some people aren’t testers (my husband is NOT, but he’s much more receptive to phone calls)! Have you tried calling them?

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