Hello! I’d like to share an experience and hopefully receive guidance.

I spent two years as an executive, and while I was providing what I believe was impactful work, and receiving praises across the board, I got fired from one day to the other without any explanation.

After a few weeks, some managers (who were under me) shared that there had been a while campaign raised against me for a couple of months by others VPs and shareholders. 1/2

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The older I get, the less I trust because very few people are truly good and trustworthy. They may want to be or even think they are, but when the chips are down, most people will just choose themselves.

My advice is to trust but verify…with everyone. And if you find someone you can trust completely (validates through experience) hang on tight. They are rare.

likehelpful

I personally have a file where I save emails that celebrate work that I’ve done. I use it mostly for resume/introductions if I’m pursuing a new role, but it certainly helps build back my confidence when I’m lacking it. Ultimately, you may need to fake it for a while, but confidence is key to leading.

Feel free to DM me, and we can talk about it. I have plenty of experience in working with top execs about this particular issue. Happy to share their wisdom and mine.

likesmart

This sounds traumatic and regardless whatever your perception of trauma is I would invite you to think about how you can support your body in releasing the tension of the experience as well as talking through things with a trusted person.

Several people I know have had a great experience with acupuncture, EFT tapping, and tension and trauma release exercise (TRE).

I hope this shifts for you with speed and grace.

likehelpful

You deserve clear and direct feedback, not a whisper campaign that sounds like something out of a soap opera. That was extremely fucking toxic and I’m so sorry it happened to you.

There are lots of great organizations out there where this behavior is rightly unconscionable and it sounds like you’ve found one. Good luck OP, we are rooting for you 🤗

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It has been a shock as at no time anyone mentioned anything at any level in our multiple reporting rituals, and my teams were pretty happy and delivering.

I have now been in a new role in an awesome company. 6 months in, I feel blessed and people are very supportive and appreciative of my work. The issue is that I seem to can’t believe them (and those praise have been given in my previous gig), and carrying with me a very poor self esteem now.

Today I have been told that I should try to move beyond my undermined self confidence and anxiety caused by it as it is the only thing that is crippling the impact I’m having in my current role.

Honestly, I don’t know how to do that and rebuild my professional trust on the feedback shared with me. Any suggestion? 2/2

Lack of trust can be triggered by different experiences. It’s highly likely that you have had a lifetime of experiences that make this a bigger trigger than you may realize. I would suggest working with a therapist on this. Whether it’s trust, confidence or peace of mind - the thing that is getting in your way is rooted in fear.

helpful

Sad to hear this happened - agree with pursuing a therapeutic route to recover from the trauma. I got laid off from an executive role a few years ago, largely because my boss failed to manage his boss well, and I didn’t do enough to form a relationship with my bosses boss. It was traumatic for sure.

Good learning situation, and showed me that at the executive level, fully half (or more) of the job is managing politics vs actual performance.

At the same time, I’d rather trust and be wrong than be paranoid and be right.

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