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When you come back to work and if you plan to pump, first thing you do is block out those times every day so no one schedules. Do not be afraid to tell people “I have to pump so I can dial in or you need to move it” if they try to schedule something. I’ve found being honest people are very respectful. But hold your ground.
Don’t hide being a mom. Be open about it. Normalize it. Own it. And don’t apologize for it.
Set the boundaries that feel right to you and stick to them! The industry is not conducive to parenting and people will overstep. Stand up for yourself and know that it’s always the right thing to do because family should come first. And take it easy on yourself! Don’t expect to do a ton during your maternity leave. Focus on your little one and yourself. Someone told me - don’t make lists of things you have to get done each day. Do one thing! And that was really helpful.
1) There are so many (strong) opinions out there on all kinds of parenting approaches (attachment, breastfeeding, sleep training etc.). No single decision on any of these things is the make or break factor in your child’s future well-being. Go with what feels right, and allow yourself to adapt If it’s not what you expected.
2) if you can swing it consider splurging on a SNOO. Game changer. You can rent or buy used... we rented and it’s quite possibly the best money I’ve ever spent
YES ON BOTH. GET THE SNOOOOOO
Be kind to yourself. You just grew life inside your body...give it time to heal.
Do what’s right for you and your family. Like every first time mom, I read about the dangers of co-sleeping, how bad it is to rock/soothe/nurse to sleep, the importance of baby led weaning and so on. Now he’s 16 months and I wish I would have just ignored everything and given him what felt right (a little milk to sleep isn’t the end of the world. Neither is co-sleeping) because the time when they’re so small and precious is really fleeting. Follow your gut and do what feels right for your family.
Also, these timelines everyone throws around - “the first 6 wks is the hardest”, “sleeping thru the night a 6 months”, “ you’ll feel like yourself again in 3 months”....babies aren’t robots and do things on their own schedule. Don’t let others’ timelines get to you. Let things unfold as they will.
Congrats and enjoy your little one!
Congrats on your new bundle! A few things that worked for me:
1. Enjoy getting to know YOUR baby - what's right for you and the little guy might look different for someone else because he's his own little person.
2. The sleep deprivation those first 4 weeks is HARD. Don't put pressure on yourself to get much done on mat leave beyond figuring out how to mom. You might get a great sleeper, but I was blessed with a baby that did NOT sleep well, so I was a zombie for the first 11 weeks and got frustrated at how little I could actually get done each day, or how he would refuse any kind of schedule. Everyone's situation is different.
3. Once you go back to work, wait six months (if you can) before making any major decisions or changes about your role, or thinking about looking for new jobs. I'm so grateful my friend told me this. It kept me from making emotional decisions or jumping ship from a good job while I was getting used to getting to used to my new work / life priorities.
4. Don't be afraid to say no to things at work because you need to be with your kiddo. Work will be fine and can figure out alternatives or backfills if they really need to. No one can replace mom.
5. I used Taking Cara Babies to learn about good soothing methods and sleep resources - it was a great lifeline and the approach is pretty flexible, so I recommend it to all my friends. People get insane about sleep training methods.
GOOD LUCK. YOU GOT THIS. :)
If you breastfeed, and need to pump milk, block out time to do so and stick to it. Work can wait 20 minutes.
Treasure every moment the first month, because you’ll never get it back. You have a lifetime to work, but only a few weeks with a newborn.
Give your body time to heal.
It’s OK to co-sleep. It’s OK not to co-sleep. It’s OK to breastfeed. It’s OK to bottle feed. It’s OK to cloth diaper. It’s OK to disposable diaper.
Take as many supplies home from the hospital as you can. Specifically the mesh underwear! Don’t be ashamed to ask for extra before you go. They are a godsend.
Have a tribe of friends and family who can listen, advise, and support you ❤️
👆🏻this. It’s ok to do what works for you. Don’t let anyone make you feel less good because of how you choose to parent.
Buy comfy, high waisted underpants in case you end up having a c section. I only focused on what the baby needed and forgot about myself - ended up wearing hospital paper panties for the first few days! 😣
Be kind to yourself. There’s no shame in asking for help, leaning on friends/family, getting a baby nurse if you can afford it, taking antidepressants. Yes, read all the books and join the apps and Facebook groups so you have all the information, but at the end of the day, do whatever feels right for you and your baby.
Congratulations! Super Personal tip- you can actually order the “frozen” cold activated pads they give you in the hospital. I stocked up from Amazon rather than dealing with DIYing them, and those things were a lifesaver.
My favorite tips came from a book! 😝
Th Fifth Trimester... some simpler recos (do a practice run before your first day, block time for pumping on your calendar (if planning to give breast milk)... but also some realistic/practical advice — really take your time to be with the newbie & be gentle with yourself. Also DO take advantage of any help offerings! Congrats& best wishes!
Also just read this book and would recommend it to any new mom!
For when it gets shitty (literally or figuratively!), "it gets better!!!"
Thank you everyone ❤️
Your milk supply naturally regulates around 3 months to stop over producing and makes only what baby drinks in one day. if you want to stock up the freezer with extra breast milk I’d pump as much as you can that last month of leave before 3 months. It’s great to have as backup in case you get sick / have trouble keeping up when you go back to work.
I am on maternity leave with my second. My first was a horrible sleeper - we are following Taking Cara Babies and love it - highly recommend. Ultimately you do you! Everyone has an opinion on everything 😀
Its been a while since I started this thread but I just want to thank everyone for all the advice! My little man has just turned 20 weeks and all these tips, tricks, and well-wishes were (still are) appreciated more than I can say. Fishbowl can be such a negative space, but this bowl is absolutely amazing. 💕 Nothing makes me happier than seeing women support women! So thank you thank you thank you!!