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When I think of patience, I don't see it as a soft skill, but more a character trait. I guess if you want to develop more patience, just park yourself amoung a bunch of dimwitts and idiots for a while, and remember they can't help it. That should help grow your patience very fast. 😆
You’re a teacher so I 💯 bet it’s part of a character trait for you 🙂
To your frustration about explaining repeatedly - I’ve been there. What I learned has been two-fold: (1) just because I understand it, it doesn’t mean they’ll also get it; (2) people have different learning styles - some respond better to visual input (and different types) more than auditory input. Ultimately it’s about tailoring the information and message so *they* understand it, not repeating it the way *you*’understand it. Once I understood this, my frustration went way down, my patience grew, and it became interesting to figure out how to convey information in different ways. Sure…it sometimes take more time and thought but ultimately my job as a leader is to effectively convey information.
I usually have a visual demo as well as spoken directions. Usually the ones who always ask the question are the ones who are not paying attention, chatting, or doodling, etc
When my children were little, I thought that would be the greatest test of my patience, but then I got into this job! Oh boy, was I in for a surprise. What worked for me was trying to understand that the other person genuinely does not understand, and then try to take a break in between, and circle back to it later!
One thing I have learned in dealing with students, especially toward the end of the day, is when my patience runs thin. One particular student was always asking "what to we do?" (after repeating the directions, showing them where the written directions were, and giving them the opportunity to ask questions). One afternoon, I snapped, which garnered shocked expressions from everyone! I apologized to the class and the student. Later, I went to the student and explained why I was frustrated at his repeated lack of attention, and the waste of time in having to repeat directions that were already given. He apologized, and after that, he focused in. I just know that when I lose my patience, it is not good for me, and usually someone is saddened by the response
Not exactly the tack you’ve taken with your question but I’ve found that, all else equal, if I’m having to explain the same exact thing an excessive number of times it begs the “why?” question
Oftentimes for me answering the “why” allows me to adjust my approach toward a more successful outcome but the adjustment looks completely different each time
To build patience you have to be confident in yourself but modest. You have to start with a positive attitude and wear the hat of someone who wants to be a good mentor and help. If you cannot build that mindset or don’t have it in your character to be nice to others, then you will continue to think others are dimwits and you are better than them. Maybe try asking yourself why those people are not getting it. Putting yourself in other people’s shoes may help with patience.
To add on, ‘soft skills’ are a misnomer - they are ‘core competencies.’ To call them ‘soft skills’ makes it sound like they’re optional or not a priority. It can lead to hiring ‘brilliant jerks’ and potential team cohesion problems.
For me patience was just one of those things that came with age. And I think part of that is that I know people have to be patient with me and therefore I am able to be patient with others. Sometimes I do have to take a big deep breath and remind myself to be patient haha.
Practice it!! Instead of allowing yourself instant gratification (like dessert right when you want it!), make yourself wait 30 min to an hour. Take up hobbies that require patience- pottery, gardening, crafting, etc.
I'm working on this too!! I WFH, and realized that has reduced my tolerance for patience. I'm trying to get that back, so I'm making myself be patient even when it's within my control not to be. Also trying to live more in the moment!! Instead of focusing on the waiting, it allows me to try to understand my impatience right then- what is driving it. For me it's typically a deep seated fear of resource instability- basically what else am I missing out on while waiting for this, and then the resulting consequences of the "wasted" time. It's helping to recognize it and be able to talk myself down from it!
Also, seek feedback from your team. When you need to explain something a second time, ask then what was missing the first time around and what you could do differently to help them understand it the first time around. It could just be that what you are doing makes sense to you, but not for others!
let ppl come up with ideas and conclusions which you need.
it s hard work stakeholders wise, but it s the way to make those ideas "theirs"
since you reach that, they will be proactive and motivated themselves
Here are some tips:
1. Self-Awareness: Recognize situations that trigger impatience. Understanding your triggers helps you prepare and manage your responses.
2. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that not everything happens instantly. Set realistic goals and timelines for yourself and others.
3. Improve Listening Skills: Practice active listening. Give full attention to the person speaking and avoid interrupting. This shows respect and helps in understanding the situation better.
4. Perspective-Taking: Try to see situations from others' perspectives. This can increase empathy and reduce frustration.
5. Practice Gratitude: Focus on what you have rather than what you lack. Gratitude can shift your mindset and increase patience.
6. Stay Positive: Maintain a positive attitude. Optimism can help you stay patient in difficult situations.
7. Seek Feedback**: Ask for feedback from colleagues, friends, or family about how you handle stressful or challenging situations. Use their insights to improve.
8. Reflect on Progress: Regularly reflect on your progress and celebrate small victories. Recognizing improvement can motivate you to continue developing your patience.
Hope these could help.
Answered by ChatGPT 😃
Typed with awkward, unnatural pauses:
"You got this lion, he’s the king of the jungle. Huge mane out to here. He's laying down under a tree, in the middle of Africa, he's so big, he's so hot! He doesn't wanna move. Now, the little lion cubs they start messin' with him, bitin' his tail, bitin' his ears, he doesn’t do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him, coming over making trouble, still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this, and they start to move in. The jackals, hyenas, they're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this and they get closer and closer and bolder and bolder, till one day...that lion gets up and tears the sh!t outta everybody, runs like the wind, eats everything in his path, 'cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals who he is."
Constantly reminding myself that I do not control the actions of others, I can only control my own. So if someone needs to have something repeated to them over and over, then I either need to do that or find another way to communicate it so that they do remember.
I also learned to be more self aware - if I don’t remember something you told me, I have no right to judge you for not remembering something I told you. Or on a more abstract level, if someone needs help, I help them - because if I don’t, how could I possibly expect someone to help me.