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Guys, a query from me - got an offer from a reputed renewable industry company so wanted to know if I'll be going downhill or uphill in my career. Note: Position is in Europe, naturally way better money than India, and its an ex client wanting me to join them. He is keen to get me in.
https://joinfishbowl.com/post_1ysj22yk7e
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Microsoft is hiring an account executive and I’m really interested in the role. I have B2B sales experience in a different industry, but my skills include lead generation, prospecting, account management, negotiating, etc (all within the C Suite and other decision makers).
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Hi 🦈
I have offers from below organizations. Please help me to choose on basis of learning and work life balance.
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Deloitte EY Infosys Mindtree
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You can do one of the following, although I suggest both 1 and 2. That said if you’re very junior, 2 or 3 is a more realistic approach.
Before you do this, and I don’t want to disqualify your feelings or justify the behavior as I have no clue what happened, but make sure this is not you overreacting to her. I see this often - people project onto others, so just assess that.
1. Talk to a PP you know best and share your concerns and ask for advice on how to handle it. They may give you give you some more personalized advice since they know the person. That also gives you cover. If they know of other similar issues, they also escalate it beyond the scenes generally without you being caught in the middle.
2. Have a short 1:1 conversation with her immediately after an incident. Partner, do you have 5 minutes? I wanted to let you know that I did not appreciate how you spoke to me on the call in front of the team. I felt it was demeaning, and it made me feel embarrassed in front of the team. I hope it was not intentional, and I would really appreciate it if you didn’t do this again. I am learning a lot on the project and really look forward to continuing. Thank you for understanding. The reason this is important is because you’re calling this out and asking them to stop, so they can’t use oh they’re just too sensitive. Also frankly, I always give people benefit of the doubt - not everyone is emotionally intelligent, so a conversation like this might be enough to snap them into reality. This also protects you from possible retaliation in a way as you clearly stated you don’t appreciate a behavior. Finally, you’re a professional, even if you’re more junior, you should be treated with respect - don’t take shit like this form people, even partners.
3. Report anonymously through your ethics hotline or equivalent. That will initiate an investigation in most places where people will be asked to comment and if there’s an issue, things get exposed. Sometimes it’s bit harder for situations where it’s more settle, but what it does is it puts HR on notice for this person. And if stuff like this happens again, then there’s a pattern and it’s easier to take action.
I will also say this - if you tried, but it’s not working, removing yourself from the situation isn’t always a bad thing either. There have been people in my firm that I flat out refused to work with - it’s just not worth it; I wiggled out of those when I was younger by finding other projects and people I liked.
Anyway, hope this helps. Hang in there. I hope it gets resolved.
I’ve experienced this and what helped me was letting other trusted partners know what I was experiencing to 1) raise my concerns 2) have a trail 3) get their coaching. Additionally, I started to diversify my project portfolio to reduce this partners influence on my performance outcome. Finally, I stopped stepping on eggshells around this person because I realized it didn’t matter what i did or didn’t this person would still be all the things you described above. So focus on what you can control (e.g., strong client relationships, delivery excellence, firm visibility and sponsorship) and let that be your North Star.
Simply ask her if belittling people makes her feel better about herself… literally just say it look her right in the eyes, relax and wait for an answer. She will loose her mind, you remain calm. Then you simply say, a lot of us have been wondering so I told the team I would be the one to ask…
Sure shot way to get fired
Coach
Sounds normal for Deloitte
I have to say she is the only one I have problem with. Partners I work with are in general very good at what they do and nice people.
Coach
Thank you OP for sharing your experience. To the extent you are at the SM and above level, I agree with P1 suggestions.
I do want to highlight P1’s projection point. I am curious if is she one of the few assertive women in your group? There are certain known issues in the workplace
Leaving these 2 articles for people to review. There are several research papers available online for people to explore their own biases on female assertiveness (whether they are internalized or not):
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-leaders-are-expected-to-be-bold-and-assertive-so-why-do-women-leaders/
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-32191-001
Thank you! She is assertive for sure. I am one myself some may say; I hold people accountable but I don’t put them down; I have high standards but I make sure I communicate my expectations; when those are not met, I take that as an learning opportunity and work through with them. If my team makes a mistake, I take the blame while figuring out the cause and solutions going forward.
I totally get this notion when female leaders are assertive, we get the bad rep; at the same time, some use this as their shield or excuse when some of their unacceptable behaviors are brought to the surface. I believe one can be assertive, respectful and professional all at the same time, male or female.
You should get therapy and check your own cognitive bias before acting on this.