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Happy Saturday, Confessions Bowl!

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Enthusiast
Document, document, document. Save screenshots of every digital interaction and then make sure to back them up somewhere safe from interference (do not rely on work devices and do not use any logins on your work devices — get them onto a personal device and upload them from there. You use recorded audio if you live in a one-party consent state, so Google it and capture some voice notes (back them up) if you’re in one. I’m so sorry this is happening to you and you do not have to put up with it. But you will need to contact a lawyer if you’re financially dependent on this job. The more evidence you can provide, the better off you will be. Good luck.
Thanks Jordan Harbinger
The fact that you fear for your future ability to be hired because of his actions makes my blood boil. It’s a position many women are put into and that fear is often what keeps them quiet and allows it to continue to them or someone else.
Sue the ever-living daylights out of them. If a firm won’t hire you because you protected yourself and perhaps even others, they don’t deserve you. Take your winnings (I can’t see how you don’t win) and open your own firm or at least not feel pressured into having to settle for a crap-ass firm again right away due to finances.
You said no. He continues. You feel icky. He is your boss. You say he says it won’t affect your job or advancement but clearly it already has if you can’t trust him that it is true and can’t trust yourself to leave and get another one.
He confessed EVERYTHING in emails and I have him recorded.
It’s a small but highly respected firm and is known nation wide.
I’m talking to an employment lawyer - just terrified of my reputation now snd being labeled as but hireable in a new job for suing my past employer.
P1 - that’s very encouraging and inspiring to hear you went through all of this and it hasn’t affected you!
Chief
Go to HR. You have email and texts as proof.
Pro
How is this a thing? Like what? I can’t even comprehend doing this to someone. How sick do you have to be?
Rising Star
Consult an attorney immediately. Plan your exit in a way that best sets you up for a sexual harassment or wrongful termination (etc.) case. Get the hell out of there. He needs to meet Mr. Karma.
Take photos of the situation and go to the company owner. And keep your own copies of anything that could mysteriously be deleted from company servers. And talk to a lawyer, this is not an okay situation that you should be in.
Enthusiast
Start documenting current and past events and get an employment lawyer ASAP. Stop taking this abuse!
Have you told him that it's unwanted? That's a big element of sexual harassment. You'll want to tell him that before speaking to a lawyer.
If you've already told him and he continues... Congrats, you'll get to retire early.
Chief
Why is it even a thing? This is a supervisor/direct report relationship that OP’s boss has a direct impact on their career. OP shouldn’t even need to say no imo, and many won’t say it because of fear of retaliation.
Document the hell out of everything and talk to a lawyer ASAP
Thank you. He is making me feel like I’m overreacting because he will not let this affect my income or employment status and I just need to forgive him and move on.
I feel like I’m going crazy. I know this is wrong but at the same time too he is making me feel like it’s no big deal.
You should not trust the man who wants to abuse you! Get your documentation, go to the higher ups to have him removed. If that does not work …sue!
Enthusiast
Honestly, I'd start looking for a new job. He says he won't let this affect your income or employment status, but let's not overestimate this jerkface's credibility and professionalism.
Retaliation is a thing, and very hard to prove in professional services. Wildly unrealistic hours goals, expecting you to be online 7am-11pm, including weekends; complaining that you take too long on things, or weren't thorough enough. Or you weren't bringing in enough new business on top of all this.
You can discuss with an employment lawyer whether you want to sue, but you don't have to remain there to do so.
Hopefully someone this egregious has a reputation in town, so people will understand immediately why you're looking so soon. Otherwise pull the "After starting, the role wasn't what I was expecting" card.
Chief
Seems like you already engaged your lawyer. Now you have 2 options. Report to someone within the company and hope for favorable resolution. For this he really should get fired given the evidence you have and how bad it is. If he doesn't ans there is even a wif of retaliation you sue. Your other option is to resign and sue
Agreed with the above. You need to lawyer up. They need to fire him and protect you.
And he’s gas lighting you. It’s a power dynamic. He’s abusing you on so many levels. Get out of there and sue him. You don’t owe him anything
Record him while he makes advance and say I’m not interested. If you can’t go to anyone higher. Hire a lawyer and post it on the company’s social media. Make that company pay you $$$$$
Document document document. Then sue him viciously. -
Rising Star
This is BANANAS.
You’re a lawyer, so you know the drill and the best practices. Get yourself a fellow employment lawyer, document everything, and dig in. Where the hell do these people come from…
Enthusiast
Everyone has a boss. If he is HR, then go to his boss.
Rising Star
The wife. Lol
Rising Star
Not excusing the guy but is he maybe bipolar? That sounds like extreme hypersexuality that people with type 1 bipolar experience, along with him not taking no for an answer and all the other stuff makes me think he might be bipolar.
Chief
Or maybe he’s just a creep