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The points I called out were:
1. I'd like to be involved to ensure there is alignment and that what is being pitched can actually be followed through on
2. There were next steps out of that meeting I wasn't made aware of that my partner approached me for an update and this made me look unprepared in front of them
3. When they exclude me from these meetings, it sets the perception that I am not trusted by the company and can put the trust I have worked on with the partner in jeopardy
4. Finally, these conversations are important and as the person they expect to be an expert on all things related to the partnership, I should have a seat at the table
"Simmer down" is not an appropriate response. Period. It sounds like this "leader" is going behind your back and engaging in a way that is detrimental to your partnership. I would take that to HR.
Meetings at that level should drive conversation and strategies at your level and vice versa. As it sounds like they do at your clients organization. In this day and age I would just find a new company with better leadership, there are plenty of companies looking to hire still. HR is a tough route and they probably won’t side with an account manager over an EVP+. Also, if they’re telling you to simmer down, I’m going to take a wild guess and say they don’t respect you. There’s a very low chance you have much growth opportunity here if that’s the case. You’re not the problem, though - you sound like you take your job seriously and know how client management should work efficiently internally and externally. Go work for a company and leadership team that deserves you.
What level are you?
Discussions between leadership happen all the time. Often they meet about one thing that you shouldn’t be privy to, and another topic comes up.
I'm a Senior Partner Manager and currently manage everything related to this partnership, including negotiations and contracting.