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I am looking to identify committed Christians within Deloitte who would be interested in serving on the US board of a global non-profit committed to restoring the lives of those who have been traumatized via human trafficking or gender-based violence in SE Asia. Deloitte has been instrumental in partnering with Hagar International via pro-bono consulting and we would love to leverage this partnership on our US board.
Happy Sunday Fishers (of Men!)
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You are absolutely correct!
God is the head of every man and the man is the head of the woman.
1 Corinthians 11:3
As a woman, I can say that God placed it in our hearts to be led by a Godly man.
It’s your time to put God first and do his will. She will follow as you set the example of a beautiful relationship with God.
Prayer is essential. Pray on your own, pray with her and pray with your congregation.
She’ll also need Godly women as iron sharpens iron.
Seek out and you shall find … let your wife know that there a plenty of seasoned Godly women that will love and support and not judge.
Blessings
Yes. Ive talked about this multiple times with her. Her answer is that it’s just where her heart is.
I do understand that part of the creation story was to care for animals. Again, I do love our dogs, but the call from Jesus is very clear. They’re not the center
And frankly, I think it’s a massive disrespect to me when I’m working 60+ hours to provide us a good life and she spends most of her time caring for dogs.
Call me new-fashioned, but marriage is based on mutual respect. If either partner is caring for human lives, that can be considered a valuable full-time job. Implicit in your post is that your wife wants her full time job to be to care for pets and nothing else?
I also don't want pets. I'd rather have nice things and travel on a whim. But my wife does, so we have them. They destroy the furniture, require a lot of clean up, and the vet bills are expensive. It's a sacrifice that I make for her happiness. But her sacrifice is having a job so we can afford the pets, and bills that come with them... And maybe have some money for retirement. Eventually.
If she wasn't working, my problem would be less to do with the pets that I hate and more to do with the disconnect between our understanding of what it means to be in a mutually beneficial relationship.
She does work, part time, and she pays for surprise expenses for the dogs.
The rest goes towards her entertainment or whatever she wants to save for.
However, I would argue that those resources should go towards getting ready for kids or mutual goals as a couple. There’s an opportunity cost there, where every dollar/hour spent on the dogs is a dollar/hour not spent on people.
Is she a born again Spirit filled believer? As a godly husband you're first ministry is the house church to be her (+future kids) covering and leader. Pray for her and lead her close to Christ. Following Christ means denying yourself and earthly passions even if they seem well meaning not all things are beneficial especially spiritually. Bring your requests to God and pray for the Lord to work on her heart and motives.
This scenario sounds very familiar because I have a friend in a very similar situation with a lukewarm fiance that doesn't really work so obligates him pay for all of her and her dogs expensive healthcare/finances. They don't really seem to have any God-centered drives/purposes which I'd encourage you to seek out and pursue together to re-orient your focus from the pet centered lifestyle. I don't know for sure whether dogs will be in eternity with God in heaven but I do know God's children will.. so focus your time/energy on making human disciples and preaching the good news. Recommend joining a church community group to keep you accountable and in the right fellowship/ministry.
Absolutely prayer is one of the most powerful weapons we have. It sounds like you've already gotten your point across that your aspirations are not aligned with hers and I'm sure she can tell by actions alone that she's more devoted to the dogs than you'd like to be. Which is why I'd suggest involvement in more fruitful activities and ministries with fellowship and accountability from others to re-orient the trajectory of your marriage. Making decisions through the lens of Christ not the dogs (ie. we should buy a house based on proximity to our home church and ministries rather than for the dogs backyard space or we should spend more of our weekends studying the Word or volunteering/service rather than grooming/being caretakers of the dogs).
She’s projecting her motherly instincts onto your dogs. Start making babies and this will ease
Oops. Did you not discuss this before marriage?
Anyways, commenter above is right- people who are obsessed with dogs usually are dealing with unresolved emotional or mental issues. And they project that out onto dogs. Suggest that she see a therapist and figure out why she’s obsessed with them.
What state are you in?
Asking in case there’s a local church that can help the both of you.