Related Posts
Chief
How can I make friends in Chicago?
Conversation Starter
More Posts
Omega or Tag? Please advise.
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
Sign Up to see all discussions
- Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
- Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
- Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
"" is an unusual email domain. If correct, please proceed to the next step
Messaging rates may apply
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Share
Embed this post
Copy and paste embed code on your site
Preview
Download the
Fishbowl app
Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile
Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl
Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl
Messaging rates may apply
I just read something that helped me...know which balls are plastic and which are glass. It’s okay for the plastic ones to fall (ie. laundry) and give priority to the glass ones. But yes, even juggling the glass ones are tricky - give yourself grace and know you’re doing the best you can.
Love this too! And where can you turn glass ones into plastic? Like with dinners— I gave up and serve literally noodles and sliced cucumber/apples a lot of nights. That's ok. This is a time for survival.
Yup. I’ve decided to embrace the filth. This is a season to worry about keeping people alive. Pass/fail.
💯💯💯 my mental health has taken on a toll this past year. I feel you!!!
Highly recommend a house cleaner. We upped ours from once per month to once per week and it’s a game changer. We increased paper plates (even though my enviro heart breaks). We started doing more pre-made meals from Costco. Subscribed to Hello Fresh to take the thinking out of the dinner process and I actually enjoy meal prep now. I made a chore list with my spouse and now I worry about the trash never (since it’s his) and any time the counter needs a wipe I just do it (since it’s mine). We started using our sick days when we needed a mental health break. None of these things “fixed it” but all of them together made things more bearable. Good luck, you’ve got lots of company!
Mom of 2 under 5 years old tip(s):
- Hide the laundry (on yourself) until it absolutely needs to be done
- Rotate every 2 days of dinner-prep/cooking with your partner (cook on the weekend and freeze meals like soup/chili to supplement lazy evenings). If partner refuses; negotiate.
- Rotate putting the 6 month old down to bed (not kidding—get your partner IN THE ARENA and get some hours back)
- Offer to shop for the family for the week (or pick up something for your partner) and...Do. It. Slowly. You need self-check-time alone (ie time outside of the house alone)
- Put phone/video calls with people you love on your calendar so it feels as serious as a doctors visit (it makes you look forward to it and very aware that you skipped it if you pass due to ‘mood’
- Your partner: Wear the sexy t-shirt he fell in love with you in on the weekends. Give him room to breathe by giving him time (ex: a night with the boys every 2 weeks or a pass for him to ‘be curious’ and disappear with no guilt). Find easy wins where he can feel like a killer dad - ask him to research/make custom family jerseys > plan a family photo (or take a funny bad one) > have him find cool shoes the little one has to wear everyday > something/anything for him to be a contributor (unless he is already all-in; if he is > tell him he is killing it). Last but not least ......ask HIM how he is. Men need to be seen too.
- Then...Don’t forget to go back to you. Ask yourself how you feel. See yourself. Look in the mirror for a solid minute. Thank yourself and know that most of this time will be a blur—so laugh—get through it.
Wash.Rinse.Repeat!
Same. Crying any time I’m alone and don’t see any sign things will get better
Sending lots of love. Not to pry or give unwanted advice, but that sounds a lot like the postpartum depression I had with my first kid. Maybe look into virtual therapy if you're not already? It's helping me so much.
Bowl Leader
Outsource where and when you can. We don’t pay a sitter anymore so we put that towards ordering more meals and paying to have our laundry done.
We have a cleaner come every other week but might soon be upping that to every week.
Not only does it help us feel more sane it inspires us both to deep clean more and get rid of stuff that we’re just pushing around.
Hang in there you’re not alone. Are you able to hire help? Can your partner help out with the house stuff? Sending hugs!!
Your body is still flooded with hormones and healing at six months, so go easy on your emotional health too. The roller coaster gets better around the 10 month to a year mark, at which point you hit another loop of walking/squirming/hands into everything that will also seem insurmountable, but knowing it’s coming can make it easier to find coping strategies. If the house and messiness is getting to you, it’s money well spent to get out of the house for a few hours a day (or evening, or weekend) once a week to let someone clean while you drive around with baby snapped into a car seat and you get a bit of a breather.
Right there with you! I have an 11 month old. There are some amazing tips in this thread. Two other things have really helped my sanity! I set aside 1-2 hours on Sunday and do as much meal planning/prep/online grocery shopping as possible so the week can feel more automatic. I also set aside an hour or 2 a week for the “autopilot” calls where I don’t have to be on video and fold laundry or do basic pickup. The calls where you aren’t already multitasking to meet a deadline of course!
Is your baby sleeping through the night? If not, that could totally be adding to the stress. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique.
I told my husband that I love him and I’d prioritize him again in a year, but that I had to focus on baby and work. It’s been 14 months and we are back to dating and being affectionate, but we’re best friends for a while. It’s tough, but yes - seemingly impossible to do it all, so decide the priority and make time for what you can.
So many great pieces of advice here... just one addition...send out your laundry. We have a housekeeper that of course gives me sanity but it was the constant laundry that was truly driving me to tears. It never ends. So I tried a laundry service. First on just towels and sheets... now I do everything except my workout stuff, husbands work shirts and anything dry clean. It’s life changing. And only about $20-30 a week.
Look for things that take up more time than they are worth and outsource and or balance with your partner.
Thank you everyone for the extremely helpful advice, tips, and encouragement. It really does help and goes a long way to know others are in the same boat.
I totally feel you. I have a 7 month old and have the same struggles. This industry is so hard for moms, I thought it would
Be hard but not this hard. Especially with the pandemic, the lack of respect for my time is cruel. The hours eat into my family time and into the late night and I have no support. It’s very overwhelming.
I have a house keeper come every other week, and it’s been great. My husband does the laundry and I fold... it works well because I can fold whenever I can get to it.
The evening is definitely the most stressful time for me. My husband doesn’t get home until 6:30 and in the time I’m trying to finish up work and/or do dinner and feed baby and depending on the night also try to squeeze in bath time. Plus, I just want to see my family. I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do: keep working and attend the 6pm or later meetings or do I put up the boundary of being unavailable from 6-9 and take whatever career consequences bc seeing my family is by far more rewarding and enjoyable? But my job is what puts food on the table and roof over our head?
In a similar position here. We have a cleaner come twice monthly and it’s some of the best money we spend. I outsourced meal planning to Hello Fresh for several months, which was helpful. I’ve found oautomation of anything that can be automated is key to freeing up your time and energy to the things that require your attention and presence. I’m also living by the crockpot at least once a week, and we only cook dinners that make at least 4+ servings so we’re not cooking every night. My husband generally cooks dinner while I feed the baby, so we can eat dinner as soon as the baby is in bed.
It’s definitely a balancing act - but you’re working and adjusting to parenting in a pandemic!! We weren’t meant to live this way. Give yourself some grace - it sounds like you’re tackling a lot.
I’m just here to second the crockpot. That thing’s a life and sanity saver as a working parent.
Omg, exact same but my LO is 8 months. I have completely let my self go, too. I’m lucky if I take a shower. Sadly that’s what I chose to sacrifice