I’ve become negative about my life and can only think how I’ve been wronged, how I’m stuck, and frustrations w/ various circumstances in my life. They all feel connected in a cycle I can’t escape bc it’s all cause and effect ending up back where it started. I can’t find where to break the toxic cycle of negative in my life or how to make those circumstances better. I feel my life has backed me into a corner. I’m aware I’m playing victim and not taking charge of my life. Advice on breaking free?

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This sounds kinda woo woo, but hear me out. My exec coach told me about a study that says the part of your brain that experiences negative spiraling, anxiety, etc is the same part that experiences gratitude, and that your brain can only experience one at a time. So if you force it to process gratitude, it dims the other stuff. She made me do an exercise of listing out three daily gratefuls, or to do three whenever I felt a slide or a spiral coming on. She made me text them to her. I am not the type of person to respond well to this type of mushy prompt, but I did it for a few months. Nothing groundbreaking. Things like a new leaf growing on my plant, or my dog’s hair ending up in a ridiculous style after a nap and making me laugh. But...I think it works? I still do it sometimes when I’m feeling particularly shitty. Hope it works for you, too.


That’s insightful about the brain. I have so much to be grateful for, and when putting it like that, it sounds like expressing those things holds a lot of weight. I’ll carry this with me, thank you!


What will breaking free entail?


Commit to breaking free. Preferably by having a moment that marks your commitment. A trip, spiritual moment, ritual, meaningful action, lifestyle change, etc.


I had a lot of this thinking before I was prescribed antidepressants. It also started to fade away as I aged out of my 20s. But that’s just me.

Have you spoken to a counselor about this?


I previously struggled with depression, thankfully I’ve broken free from that. Before, I couldn’t get through anything without meds. I do still hit these mindset bumps once in a while like I have right now, but they’re mentalities I’ve been able to grow through without my mind going dark like it used to.

I’m meeting with a couple of my mentors this week, and am looking into options for therapy. I think that would really help me work through where I’m at, and could be more proactive for my well-being in the future.

Appreciate the nudge 🖤


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