Let's say you want to get fired. What's the fastest way to get fired? Go!

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Take a dump on MD's desk while he's sitting at the desk

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@Barcap, not at GS! 😎

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Tell your MD to turn his own comments

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Just tell your MD you don't get paid enough and you aren't doing enough interesting work... if you don't get fired you may get paid better and like your job better

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Take your corporate card down to SoHo for a little personal shopping

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@gs1, your employer will have the last laugh by not paying it ... remember that card is in your name (and goes against your credit score)

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Or you could just quit

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Then, by all means, buy some stuff for us other fish bowlers as well if you ever decide to do that!

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Send a work document to your personal email account.

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Your goal should be to get laid off...

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None of the options here will entitle you to severance since you'll likely be fired for cause. Just in case that was your goal.

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Push back on a WGL

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Jerk it at your desk

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Go on NSFW sites at work

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Another thought: tell a few people on the team (more seniors than juniors) about multiple interviews you had with Banks A, B and C and that you should "be out of that shithole soon"

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Compose a text to your hacker buddy who your helping do a penetration test on his secure, untraceable encrypted VoIP server software that he's developing to release for free for political dissident living in authoritative regimes to safely communicate with them outside world without fear of being arrested and executed. Mention that you bypassed the security layers by employing the exploit you're testing against known as a "Colombian Vacaslut". Then accidentally send it to your manager.

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True story. Didn't get fired. But came close.

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Related Posts

Does anyone from EY have insight on layoffs? I'm seeing horror stories from other firms but haven't heard anything about EY layoffs. (Manager, FSO-Advisory-Risk)

History of BCG layoffs anyone?

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Do you think it is quite possible to get fired by asking too many questions as an experienced senior 1? If so, i might get fired after this busy season.

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I asked for a raise and instead got laid off. Told that after looking into finances not only can they not afford a raise they cannot afford me. But I know for a fact they are replacing me with an Agency that say they can run our Social Media for 500pcm. Is this normal practice these days?

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Hi everyone...

My role was impacted as part of the layoffs in my last Org.. bitter truth to digest. So I am looking for a new role and I would appreciate your help and support.

Can anyone share Hyderabad or Remote based PM/ Sr. PM jobs.

Is there a risk of accepting a role with Upstart currently? I seen a 7% layoff recently for hourly employees but I would be salaried. I am well aware it’s a risk in tech overall right now but curious on thoughts thanks!

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Coworker got fired because they stole my clients! We have a policy stating that the realtor who initiated the contact should be the one closing the deal to give them a fair chance. I feel bad but they should have read the policy...

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So I've had 2 hiring managers and several recruiters from Amazon reach out to me about applying for some open positions with the company (android). I completed the coding assessment and now they want me to go through a round of 5 hour interviews next week. Is there a good chance I'll be hired if engineering managers are reaching out to me? I'm really not sure how badly I want to work for them and I don't want to be laid off months after being hired on. Anyone know what Amazon hiring is like?

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After 10 years of working as a FTE PM/producer I’ve now been laid off (thanks Covid) and am looking to start freelancing for the first time. What advice do you have for a new freelance PM/producer?
Also, what kind of insurance do you take out as a freelancer?

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I am interviewing for a Sr. Program Manager role at Adobe. Glass door says ~252k. What a typical base would be? How does adobe feel in the market right now as far as layoffs and expansions?

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What’s the best way to negotiate more money during a contract to FTE conversion? My manager and I had the conversion convo today and he said he’d like to convert me immediately and took the action item to do so. In terms of comp he said they should already have what I’m expecting but I don’t think I communicated any FTE number to my contracting company. In this job market with all the layoffs, should I count my blessings and take what I can get or is there wiggle room.
YOE: 10

Is it just me or do 90% of the jobs being laid off by big tech sound made up? Many job descriptions with multiple bullet points that all kinda revolve around the same idea. One of my buddies works for a big IT company and literally just sits on meetings all day. No one really contributing to anything other than agreeing to whatever the speaker is saying. Are these kind of jobs finally being exposed? Six figure employees getting paid to sit and bounce ideas off each other?

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Is Accenture canada expected to do layoffs?

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Hows the industry doing in MENA right now? Any worries about a potential crash? Are firms still hiring? Based in the US and everything is tense here with the recent tech layoffs

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Hi fishes,
Has coforge fired any employees in 2022?

The severance package at Meta for laid off employees almost makes it nice to be laid off depending on what your personal situation is….. personally wouldn’t mind getting 4+ months of full pay to reset and think about what’s next 😬

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I was laid off from Deloitte in the 18th. I have an interview with Amazon for a Senior Program Managers Non Technical position with Amazon hiring manager on Monday. Any advice would be much appreciated. I would love to get into Amazon. I hear their interview process is brutal.

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Is job changing a good idea at this time? Considering recession, mass layoffs.

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S&P Global I heard S&P Global recently fired so many people from Ahmedabad, Gujarat location.
Is it true?

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Can the group members please share their experience about the CFE exam? How many days of preparation does it require? What are some of the useful study resources?

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Looking for remote healthcare roles that I can operate from Southeast Asia during a gap year (I am a dual-national). Flexible with anything that allows me to build on skills like project management, analytics, PI/QI, and anything else among the delivery of care. I will be a recent grad with internship/project experience in healthcare strategy roles. Looking for ideas, referrals, or just a chance to connect 😊

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Now that it’s officially peach season. Best peach things (fresh peaches, peach drinks, etc.) and where to find them in ATL?

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Very new to EY so sorry if it’s a dumb question but why is it suggested that you should never work directly with your counselor (as your acting engagement manager)?

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Did any one implement semantic search on custom domain data? if so what is the best model is to generate embeddings. I am using DPR but still looking for better model

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Staffing partners firing up the Availability Reports at 9:00 a.m. EST.

Post Photo
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PwC India Hi fishes, Can someone refer me for this position-
Associate - Corporate and Business Strategy - Strategy Consulting?
PwC India PwC

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How do we get them to shorten the consumer ISI? It serves no ethical purpose and physicians hate it. Here’s my version:

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Tinder on Fish bowl

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How much time your divorce procedure took?

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Replace or refurbish windows on an old (1920s) house?

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After how many days of HR discussion I can expect the offer letter ?

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Hi, I have a HR discussion with EXL this week for the post of manager.

What should be the fixed pay I should be asking for?

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At what point do you walk away when bosses or team values do not align with your personal values? Boss told me I’m too soft and I should be prepared to burn bridges if it’s a good outcome for company.

Anyone up for a chat? M here looking for M 😛

McKinsey & Company Any advice to help prepare for data science analyst role at top consulting firms (McKinsey & Company EY Boston Consulting Group etc)? Any materials, open source platform recommended to take on freelance data science project? When should I start actively looking and applying? I am a new grad who is working in tech as a marketing analyst I’m looking to pivot to marketing& sales data science consulting next year. Would like someone with similar backgrounds offer some practical tips.

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Do people use umbrella in Boston?

Moving to Boston soon and wonder if people use umbrella or just windbreaker like most people in Seattle.

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Additional Posts in Finance

Has anyone else turned down a tech job for banking? It was a hard decision but ultimately, I decided that the experience and training I'll get here is second to none. Hope I don't regret this decision

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Girl I went on a date with talked about how much money she makes doing Monat MLM. Anyone know much about this? Legit or scam?

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Best managerial practice to solve serious team conflicts?

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Poll: your salary sell-side research analyst and which year are you?

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Popped a xanax before an interview, what a mistake that was. Sometimes, anxiety is good.

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What's the last lie you told?

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Feeling super low. Went through final rounds at 2 companies. The hiring teams sent multiple notes saying they are very impressed only to be told later that the job position is on hold. Back to square1

Who is more annoying Cross Fitters or vegans?

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Anyone ever heard of Credigy?

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We have a big project going on and I am the only point person(initiate it, did lot of work, and knows the deets well), seems like my mgr wants to get a headcount. But I want to use this opportunity to get promoted, how can I get this across? Mgr is new(they fired my old mgr), mgr’s mgr is new too(re-org). So not sure if I should/can make a case, or how.

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I’m five years into this game and I still get panicky before client calls... All calls, really. How do I get over this?

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Transitioning from line of business familiarity (understanding financial statements) to... real(?) Finance (bonds and cap markets and other debt sales) any advice on books or resources to learn really from step 0?

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Cool company swag that you have received and actually use?

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Looking for opinions. I’m an IW with 2 yrs experience working from home at a Fortune 500 company w/ excellent benefits, target salary 75k. I was previously offered a job at another company where the 75k salary was guaranteed for the first year. Most people make much more than this once their comp fully ramps up, but, I would have to work in the office. I declined the offer, but now the CEO wants to meet with me several months later. Would I be crazy if I asked for 100k guaranteed salary?

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Best font to use for your resume?

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Anyone moved from NY to D.C.? Would like to hear your thoughts on comparing the two cities. Am considering move to DC because my gf got a better job there but not sure what to expect

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How many of you already have life insurance and long term disability with a trusted provider? Is it worth getting?

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Private equity industry is one of the most powerful and least understood influences on the contemporary American economy.

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Best game to play while on flights?

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How often do you actually make it to the gym in a "normal" week?

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